Free and Flying

I went to the playground yesterday. We picked my granddaughter up from school and her mom drove us to the playground.

My sweet girl ran out of the car and headed towards the monkey bars. She was crawling and going from one rung to another. Soon after that, the slide was her object of attention. Climbing up the slide and engaging a couple of smaller children in conversation, she slide down. Her laughter was music to me, filling my heart with such pride, amazement and love.

My daughter and I talked while she played. Eventually I headed over to the swings. I love to swing. Our Little Miss was incredulous to see her grandmother on a swing, like I was too old for such a stunt. I challenged her to see who could swing higher. The challenged was readily accepted. The feeling of flying freely through the air was delicious. Pumping my legs to go high and laughing with my Little Miss, made the years fade away for me. There is nothing as exhilarating to me as swinging. It is one thing I always enjoy.

Of course, she won the contest as with age and wisdom I didn’t have the stamina to pump as hard as my seven year old challenger. I gave her credit for beating me.

As I stopped pumping my legs I realized I had to stop. Stopping was much easier years ago. Somehow putting your feet down and dragging them to stop the swing was not as jarring as it was yesterday. In that I felt like the old grandma person I am.

As I was swinging, though, I felt free. I wondered how it will feel once I am with the Lord. Where I can swing as high as I want and jump off the swing knowing that I am safe.

Joy comes in many forms. This week it is coming in the form of a treasured seven year old. She awakens the freedom, the enthusiasm of life. Running becomes flying and freedom.

 But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” Matthew 19:14 (NLT)

Are You Listening?

“Moreover He said to me: “Son of man, receive into your heart all My words that I speak to you, and hear with your ears.” Ezekiel 3:10 (NKJV)

I felt the Lord’s direction in starting this blog. I still believe it is what He wants me to do. I have been asked how I think of things to write about. I can honestly say, the Lord puts into my mind what to start and He fills in the blanks. Oftentimes I have to reread a post to remember what I wrote about. I don’t know how this works, but it does.

Yesterday as I was preparing to write, the scripture above came into my mind. I kept hearing Ezekiel 3:10. Most of the time when I have a scripture reference stuck in my mind it ends up being a random sentence and I am puzzled why I dwelt on that verse. I finally went to my Bible and looked up the scripture. I was amazed when it made perfect sense to me.

We often talk about wanting to hear from God. When we have a decision that needs to be made, it is often said, “I just wish I could hear from God.”

He speaks to us often. We need to clean out our ears and listen. Too often, in my case, what I hear is not what I want to hear. Like the child being told to clean up their room or get ready for bed, I rebel and like the child I refuse.

I endeavor to hear and listen. There is a difference, I think. Sometimes we hear, but we are not listening to what is truly being said. In writing, I attempt to not only hear, but listen. When I do successfully do this, I hear with my ears and the words go to my heart.

We want to be heard. To make a difference in the lives of others. We enjoy conversations when we have attentive exchanges. Similarly God wants the same respect, to be heard and listened to. To have an attentive conversation with us where we place deep in our hearts all that He has said.

Reflection

Reflections are wonderful to look at. Seeing inverted trees from a shoreline reflecting in the water, hillsides going down in the waterline mirroring the shore. We stand mesmerized, watching the beauty of nature.

“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror,” I Corinthians 13:12a (NLT)

Each day as we look in the mirror we see a reflection of ourselves. Sometimes we may see beauty, but often we just see flaws. We study our outward man in the reflection.

People in our lives see the outward man, but those around us also see the reflection of our inner man. What do we reflect? How is our reflection affecting those in our lives?

The rest of I Corinthians 13:12 talks about how we see imperfectly, but then when we are with the Lord we will see in totality. How we now know in part, and ends like this, “but then I shall know just as I also am known”

What is our reflection saying to others? How are we known to those in our lives?

My Three Mothers

“Direct your children onto the right path,
    and when they are older, they will not leave it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)

Most people have one mother. I was blessed to have three women whom I consider a mother to me.

The first, Elizabeth, gave birth to me. She taught me how to walk, eat, when to sleep, talk. She gave me life and I like to think my sense of humor. She would talk with me while sitting on our porch, she encouraged me to write. She truly gave me roots and wings. She moved to heaven when I was eleven. She established me in this world.

My second mother was really my older sister, Dottie. She was fifteen when our mother passed away. Her childhood was cut short. She became the mother figure to both myself and my younger sister. She guided me through my teen years, giving me insight and ideas. We didn’t always see eye to eye, and I often wonder if my mother had survived cancer, if we would have gotten along. Maybe it was my obstinate ways that caused conflict. Dottie was there for me in heartbreaks and victories in school and she cheered me on the days that looked bleak. I would not have had the experiences I did in high school had it not been for her.

I married young. When I first started dating Dale, his mother did not like me. She made that fact well known. Eventually, though, we both softened in our approach to each other. She didn’t have a daughter and I didn’t have a Mom, so together we planned our wedding, giving her the experience of a daughter and me having a Mom to share the excitement with.

My mother-in-law, Marietta, became a Naomi to my Ruth. “But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.” Ruth 1:16 (NLT) When she moved to heaven, grief for her was what I experienced as an eleven year old.

I have been fortunate to have the love and encouragement of three beautiful women in my life. They have taught me to grow, to learn, to accept and respect. I thank my Lord for each of them.

Needed

A mother goes through stages in her life. At first their child is dependent on them for their every need. It’s exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. You cannot catch your breath because it may interfere in the next feeding or diaper change.

Mothers of toddlers are tossed to and fro. From the highs of learning to walk and crawl and eat by themselves, to the terrible twos, the torturous threes and the fickle fours. They can’t catch their breath because they are too busy moving.

School starts and a Mother’s life switches gears. Slowly they go from hearing about the excitement of a day to being more of a taxi service to seeing them as they go from one adventure to another.

A Mother will accept each season of their lives with grace and a few tears. Eventually a Mother is someone who will text or call or be on the receiving end of a text or call.

At the end of their tenure, they are grandma and their breath is lonely for the days of being needed. We accept this as mothers, and it is a hard pill to swallow. I can remember a few years back when I tearfully complained to Dale that the girls no longer needed me. I expected consolation. What I got was a reminder. He looked at me and hinted to me that I had taught them to be strong independent women who could take care of themselves. The hint was supposed to comfort me and in a way it did, but it didn’t help my feeling of not being useful.

Last week we received a call from our oldest. It wasn’t a panic call. It wasn’t a call where she called me Mommy (those are dangerous ones). She simply asked when we could come up. They needed some help. Our son in law needed another set of strong hands and our daughter just needed some help.

I hung up and all at once Motherhood came to life. I felt needed. It was a great feeling, one I am enjoying thoroughly.

“So give your father and mother joy! May she who gave you birth be happy” Proverbs 23:25 (NLT)

She Knew Your Voice

Today I was looking at some pictures of a newborn granddaughter taken almost eight years ago. It was a series of three photos, one with her Dad, one by herself and one with my daughter. In the first she looked comfortable held in her Father’s hands, but in the one with her Mom, she had a sweet little newborn smile on her face. I looked at my daughter and remarked on the smile, I said, She knew your voice.

An infant hears their mother’s voice while they develop. It’s part of the process. A child will grow in the womb, wrapped in a comfort and quiet and they grow. While growing, they hear the music of a mother’s voice. The tonal inflection, the joy, the quiet, the nervousness. They hear it all. It is deeply ingrained into a child’s being.

In a similar fashion, the Holy Spirit woos one to a relationship with our heavenly Father. He directs us, points us and leads us while we are growing to a point of a total dependence on Christ. Once we receive our Lord and commit our lives to Him, we know His voice. It is a part of us. We are created to respond to His voice.

“Can a mother forget the infant at her breast, walk away from the baby she bore? But even if mothers forget,  I’d never forget you—never.” Isaiah 49:15 (MSG)

A Prayer

Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!” John 14:14 (NLT)

I take things literally. The Word says to ask God for anything in His name and He will do it. I love to pray.

Lord, I humbly come before You this day to ask that You will bless those who are reading this. Father, I am so grateful for all those who have read the words that I have asked You to provide. You have blessed me abundantly in the responses. I feel, Lord, the responses are Yours and Yours alone.

I don’t know what all people are going through, but I know that You know the hearts and feelings of those who read these words. Father where there is discouragement, bring hope. Where there is illness, heal. Where doubt is raising it’s ugly head, bring faith. Father, whatever is plaguing the readers, respond.

Let the readers feel Your perfect presence, Your arms around them. Bring them joy in today. Thank you Lord for all You are accomplishing. Amen.

 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 (NKJV)

No Weapon

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the Lord.” Isaiah 54:17 (NKJV)

Weapons come in many ways. When thinking of weapons, we usually go to firearms or the military. Our minds turn to hostile situations that fill the evening news, wars, revolts, or hostage and school shootings. These are all legitimate thoughts.

Many of us will never be in those situations.

Weapons formed against us can be a harsh word or tone, a situation where you feel boxed in and cannot escape, the panic you feel in a given experience. Weapons can be our mind-set, how we think we are and how we tear ourselves apart.

There was a season in my life where I felt besieged. In my desolation and loneliness I found no comfort. Dale was deployed on an isolated tour, which means he was overseas in a place where we, his family, could not go. I had my daughters, but I needed to be the strong one, the adult. I tried my best to be strong, to do my part, but inside I was crumbling. Falling apart like an old stone wall hit just the right way.

I went to church, but hid in the back rows, hoping no one would talk with me. I tried to pray but felt like my prayers went nowhere. I read the Word but the words seemed empty. It was a winter season for me. I was dormant and lifeless.

The Lord broke through this darkness with these verses that brought life back into me. It did not happen at once, but, it did give me the strength to move. “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7 (NKJV) and “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

I remember in gaining victory over this season, I would walk through my house in almost a marching fashion. With each step I would declare, NO. Weapon. Formed. Against. ME. will. prosper. A declaration that my God did not forsake me. He was with me then and will be with me forever.

Shield of Faith

“Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:13-17 (NLT)

I love the 6th chapter of Ephesians, especially about the whole armor of God. For years I have dressed myself in this armor before getting out of bed. I know without that armor on me the day will be a long one.

For the most part I remember how I dressed in the morning. I feel confident in the Lord. I confess though, I recently feel like my feet are covered, my body is covered, but my sword is dragging behind me marking lines in the ground behind me. In my other hand the shield is flopping in rhythm as I trod along my day.

With each step the armor clanks against the ground and my shoes, almost tripping me. My head hangs down, not in total defeat, but lacking the energy to look ahead.

We all get this way from time to time. We get weary. The strength in our arms is depleted. The sword seems much too large to hold on. We look like a child playing dress up in an adult’s armor. Everything sags, droops and drops.

“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.” Psalm 43:5 (NKJV)

David felt like that. He probably remembered being dressed in armor to slay Goliath. He removed all the armor, tossed the sword aside and took smooth rocks and his sling. He conquered the giant. Yet, in his life, he was discouraged and distressed. He spoke to his soul, and turned his eyes heavenward.

Years ago I was encouraged by a fellow blogger. He encouraged me to say aloud, “The joy of the Lord is my strength, I have the joy of the Lord.” When we remind ourselves of Whose we are, our head begins to lift. We start to remember that the sword and the shield is custom made for us. It becomes easier to carry that Word in our hearts and our faith is renewed.

“But you, O Lord, are a shield around me;
    you are my glory, the one who holds my head high.” Psalm 3:3 (NLT)

Needing a Hug

Lately I have needed a hug. Dale holds me and I am comforted in his arms. He is my security and safety here on earth. His arms enfold me and I know that he is my gift from God.

My friends hug me. I am always grateful to have hugs from them. They bring joy to my heart. I smile or laugh in the hugs. Those hugs are sweet short prayers in motion. My friends are also my precious gifts from God.

But, I long for a hug. My heart yearns for an embrace. My soul cries out for a hug.

Last night I talked with a friend who is going to Israel next week. Her husband moved to Heaven almost a year ago. I said how exciting it will be to walk on the ground that Jesus walked on. I then mentioned that her husband is actually walking with Jesus. Nothing tops that.

Since the conversation my mind keeps circling back to what my heart has been dwelling on. I need a hug. I long for a hug. The hug I want is one from Jesus. My desire is to run to Him and throw my arms out and be embraced by Him. To feel His breath on me. To hear His heart beat. To hear Him say my name. To experience the total warmth, the refuge curled up against Him. To know I am finally where I belong, safe in His arms, never to leave His presence.

I know He is not ready for me to be there yet. So, I will relish the quiet times of the day when I hear His voice and feel Him near. I will rejoice during the worship at church, and bathe in the quiet adoration that comes.

“I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” Isaiah 46:4 (NLT)

I am in need of a hug, but I will wait.