Remember

“When I remember you on my bed I meditate on you in the night watches.” Psalm 63:6 new King James version

Last night was one of those nights. We all have them. Sometimes we have them several times a week. I haven’t had one in a few weeks. Last night was an exception though. It was a night that I felt like my sleep shirt was made of burlap, the sheets were fiberglass and I was laying on a thin piece of plywood on top of an ant hill, nothing worked.

I got up several times before Dale went to bed and he patiently adjusted everything for me; the sling, putting biofreeze on me, whatever I needed he patiently was there. Finally I got up and had a cup of tea. That seemed to help a little bit. I went back to bed and laid there hoping to fall asleep.

Soon the parade wanted to start. You know that parade the “what if ” parade. The parade where ridiculous thoughts fill your head that never appear any other time except in the middle of the night.

It was then that I thought, ‘remember Cathi, remember all the good things in your life and do not watch the what if parade’. According to the website Knowing Jesus the word remember has 253 occurrences in 12 different translations that’s an awful lot of times to read the word remember. If the word remember occurs so often in the bible, there must be a reason for it. My belief is that the Lord wants us to remember. He wants us to remember the good times, the blessings, and the times we might have tripped or stumbled but he was there to catch us. I spent the rest of the night remembering. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep, wrapped in the arms of memories. Today, remember in your own life what the Lord has done for you, brought You through, and is getting you through current situations. Our God is a good God, He wants us to remember that.

Pizza and a pick-me-up

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing”. First Thessalonians 5:11 New living translation

Dale left around 11:30 today. He had an appointment with a friend for lunch. I was settling in for some time on my own. Shortly after Dale left the doorbell rang. I actually thought he had forgotten something and had returned to get whatever he had forgotten.

I went to the door and was surprised to see a couple from the church. They were holding a pizza bag like a delivery man. I was so surprised and immediately was lifted up in my spirit with happiness.

To say I was blessed is an understatement really. It was a surprise like a surprise package. We were able to sit and visit for a while and it cheered my day up immensely.

A good father will bring his children surprises and presents to cheer them up. He will do this even when the person is feeling okay. Our heavenly Father brought me this surprise package today. This couple brightened my day more than they realize. The pizza was good but the friendship is much better.

I was reminded that little things mean so much to people. We often think that we have to make a grand gesture in order to make a presence in someone’s life. I know I am guilty of this. It’s the little things that matter. We read that often and we hear that often. It’s truth. A kind word, a smile a gentle hug. These things can make someone’s day, month or even their year. I need to be reminded to take the time to do some little things for people because those are the times that other people need the most.

Thank you to Robin and Phil you made my day. I will remember this as a gentle hug from our Lord just you being obedient and bringing me a supreme pizza.

New Discoveries

“For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength”. Philippians 4: 13 (NLT)

I had thought that I would wait until next week to write again. But, I believe the Lord had a different idea for me. So, I will attempt to write a post right now.

Although it is only been 3 days since I fell I have come to to realize many things that I have taken for granted. First of all a friend yesterday, suggested that since my dominant hand is not of any use at the moment, that I color in a child’s coloring book. I colored my first picture left-handed last night and came to two discoveries about this. First, I need to buy new crayons for my grandchildren. The ones that are in the little crayon box are worthless. Secondly, I learned that when you were coloring with a less dominant hand the habit of your tongue sticking out to help you color comes into effect again. I felt like a first grader or kindergartener trying to color in the pictures with my tongue out to the side for balance.

Now that I have gotten major discoveries out of the way I want to share with you what I have felt the Lord speaking to me during the past few days. One of the things that I realized almost immediately after the shock of the fall(which was a great fall by the way) was that I did not think of myself beside the initial ‘ouch! that hurts’. I found that I felt the presence of the Lord in a mighty way and it was a peaceful feeling for me. The Lord is with us no matter what. He is in our ups and our downs yes that was tongue in cheek. Although this fall has made things change and shift for Dale and I, it has not moved God off of his throne. I used to give my oldest daughter the scripture Philippians 4:13 often, she would use it as her life verse and still does, I believe. It came to me that I too need to lean on this scripture I may not be able to do everything that I did last week. But that doesn’t mean that I am useless or helpless. I’m grateful for all the prayers of friends, family, church people and the people who read this blog who may not even know me personally. I have felt the presence of your prayers, the encouragement of your prayers, and the love that has been poured into these prayers. Our God is a good God He has given me a sense of humor and I have laughed several times this week at the antics of functioning with one hand.

It has always been my goal that if something major were to happen to me that I would not look in agony at myself, but that I would be able to share the glory of God throughout my experience. Granted, this is not life-threatening, it is not something that will alter my life forever, it’s an inconvenience but even in this I want to praise God in all things.

I have been blessed this week with gifts of food, prayers and people saying that they missed reading my blog. That is something I did not expect and it has ministered to my heart in ways I cannot even describe. Thank you to all of you who have stood by me, encouraged me, love me and cheered me on I’m going to attempt to write. It may not be daily but I am going to try to attempt to write often throughout this process.

This will be a different manner for me but I know in the Lord I can do all things.

How has your Monday gone?

My day started out wonderful. I was helping Dale with the yard work. I fell. Below is a picture of my current situation. I cannot write or type I have to keep still I will try to post as I can when I figure out completely how to do this via the speaker. I will keep it keep you updated. The Lord is in control. He has my life and his hands and none of this has taken him by surprise. Of course, it has taken me by surprise! I will write soon thank you to those of you who have been so supportive in Reading I will try to be on task thank you.

Fumble Fingers

“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:13-14 (NKJV)

This is just one of my favorite verses. I try to remind myself of this verse daily. I have a hopeless case of comparison-itis. Yes, I just made up that word.

I read works from others, and some I personally know and I sit in awe of the way they express themselves. If I allow myself, I can become discouraged. I question if I am truly hearing from the Lord to write or if I am just doing an exercise for myself. (Just being truthful here, not needing encouragement)

Each morning I read a devotion from Max Lucado. He has such a wonderful way of expressing himself and drawing me into the Lord for the day. I am thankful for this little book of his.

As I read this morning the above thoughts came to mind. I wondered like I mentioned above if there was anyone I had touched like Mr. Lucado touches me with his words. (Again, just being truthful here.)

I know the Lord has called me to do what I am doing. I am excited to see how He is prospering my attempt to share good things about Him. It has been fun for me. I began to talk myself out of the comparison-itis and was feeling very positive, almost like I was confident in MY ability.

I messaged a friend today and I inadvertently hit several keys without realizing it and the message was a mess. The recipient will most likely look at it and wonder if I had been drinking this morning or maybe I am not mentally intact.

In this day when we text and get ‘fat fingers’ we understand goofs in messages and texts. My friends are well aware of my problem with fat fingers. But, although I am fearfully and wonderfully made, my problem isn’t just fat fingers. I had a memory come to me of why I think I am fumbled fingered. Years ago I applied for a job while stationed in Japan. It was for the headquarters of the command as a typist for their legal department. I went in, interviewed, and started the typing test. I sat, corrected my posture, placed my fingers on the keys and typed what was before me. I had great time. I ripped the paper out of the typewriter (which by the way is a great feeling) and turned it in. I was thanked for the interview and was told that I would hear in a few days.

The position was for a GS-9, a government position. My GS rating had expired while overseas. Dale later talked with the man who interviewed me. The man relayed that a current rating applied after I had and since their rating was active, they were hired. At the end of the conversation the man told Dale that my typing test was all wrong. I had placed my fingers on the wrong keys to start the test and my score was negative 180 words. I have always had fat fingers. They were actually going to hire me except for the person with the current rating.

Comparison-itis can be fatal. Fortunately, that one test stands out to me often. I failed miserably, yet, they were going to hire me. Comparing ourselves to others is like questioning if the Lord actually did create each of us in a wonderful and fearful manner. We are looking at the giftings and abilities of others and wonder why we can’t be like them. We will never be like ‘them’, simply because we are NOT them.

Yes, I may make typing errors often. My sentence structure may be off. I may not be as deep spiritually as I would like. I know, though, that God uses us when we are willing to be used. He uses broken vessels and those of us with fumbled fingers.

Distant friends

“Good news from far away is like cold water to the thirsty” Proverbs 25:25 (NLT).

I have a friend I have never met face to face. This used to be uncommon, but now with social media it has become normal. We all join groups of interest and through these groups attachments are formed when we recognize a kindred spirit. I find this fascinating. You can talk with someone from a different state or a different country and it’s as easy as talking with someone you grew up with.

Today I heard from such a friend. I had messaged her and it is sometimes days before she can get a minute to respond. Of course, she often waits for me to respond also. There is an understanding that we will answer when we have a few minutes where we can answer completely, and also inquire how the other is doing. I love that.

When I saw that she was online and answering my heart smiled. The scripture above came to mind, as hearing from her is like a refreshing drink of water. We share news of family and health. We ask about our spouses. Most of all, we share prayer requests. She prays for me and I pray for her. We share what’s on our mind, the only thing truly missing is a cup of coffee and a table to sit across from each other.

Someday I hope to meet her face to face. I hope to hug her and pray for her directly. She has been a gift to me. Philippians 1:3, sums it up for me,  I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,”

Someday friends will all be gathered together, we will stand side by side worshiping our Lord. We will praise Him for who He is, we will praise Him for His grace, mercy and forgiveness. We will praise Him for giving us gifts of love in friendships. Together, those we have never met, and those who are with us daily, will be united.

Heritage

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” Psalm 127:3 (NLT)

I have two grandchildren. A young man about to turn ten and a little girl who will turn eight on her next birthday.

Our grandson recently finished fourth grade. He is home-schooled and has excelled under the tutelage of our daughter, who is an accomplished teacher. Our youngest daughter recently posted pictures for the end of fourth grade, they were precious (of course they were, I’m Grammy) . They showed aspects of the school year including a video of him playing a piece on the piano.

Our granddaughter is still in school. She has two more weeks of first grade. She is also an incredible student. She is caring and giving and quick to learn anything. She is like a sponge and will talk to you about what all she is learning. I love to hear her read to me and she is teaching herself cursive under the watchful eye of our oldest daughter.

As I have thought about our grands today, I have felt beyond blessed. These children are excelling. They love the Lord and crave to know more about Him. Their parents guide and direct them.

These kids are my heritage. I look at my daughters and wonder how they became outstanding adults, knowing how many times I faltered and missed opportunities to teach them. Like most Moms I remember the seasons of frustration and anger. The times when I yelled to go to sleep instead of comforting them and lovingly tucking them in. I know I personally dwell on my shortcomings as a parent, but obviously I did something right since my daughters shine as Moms.

Now, their children have my heart. To see them grow, to see their smiles, and hear of their accomplishments is a gift to me. They are precious gifts given to me by our Lord and my kids.

Ten years ago as we were awaiting the birth of our grandson, I looked at my husband and said, “I may not have been the greatest Mom, but I think I was born to be a grandmother”. Grammy is the best name I have ever been called.

Reaching for the sun

I do not like summer. To me, it’s over-rated. The heat is unbearable. The mosquitos love me (I’m their favorite meal), and I burn like a cooked lobster (bright red with usual blisters). Although I do enjoy an occasional day at the shore or at a pool.

As I have mentioned previously, Dale and I are getting up at daybreak to work in the yard. We have cut down approximately twenty trees so far. Today were five on the larger size. Before gasping at the amount of trees felled, you must know we live on five acres and twenty trees down are not noticeable at all. Most of these trees have had limbs stretching out, trying to reach some sun. The limbs we had professionally removed were very large, one about fifty feet (it was over our house) and the one over our driveway was at least forty feet.

Today’s trees were not as large as the trees the limbs were removed from, but they were struggling to get enough light and air. We will be doing this for some time as we get our property the way we envision it.

This afternoon I walked a couple of slow laps on our driveway. I asked the Lord to open my eyes to see what He wanted me too. Yes, I was complaining to Him about the heat while I did this. I stopped to look at our home. With the big branches down the summer light is different from what it was.

The sunlight dappled through the trees. I could see the puffy white clouds clearly. The back yard was open and inviting. The sunlight in the woods was easily visible. I shocked myself that I was enjoying being outside.

I thought of the trees. I realized that they were trying to reach the sun. It was then that I heard, “You also are reaching out, trying to reach the Son.”

I love it when a thought turns into a post. It’s true, daily I try to reach the Son. To have His presence in my day. It was like receiving a big comfy hug which I needed today.

Yesterday, I woke up grumpy. I was irritated all day long. I was not pleasant to be around. I went to write yesterday afternoon, thinking that would improve my mood, that my focus would return to where it should be. I typed a title and all of a sudden, my screen was full of warnings and bright red blocks and none of the keys worked. Thankfully, I could write on my phone and my husband could fix my computer. This only frustrated me more. I went to bed early, as I could not take my mood anymore.

This morning after a good rest, I realized that it was me who was off yesterday, not the Lord. Psalm 143:8 is a clear reminder for me. “Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You.”

We all have off days. Days that seem to be filled with frustration and dead-ends, these are the times where we need to stretch out our arms and reach for the Son.

Gratitude

A long marriage develops over time. In our case, we basically grew into adults together. Dale was barely out of his teens and I celebrated my 20th birthday two weeks into our marriage.

Through the years we have endured much. We have equally loved one another and disliked each other many times. We are still a work in progress 47 and a half years later.

Yesterday we went to see Top Gun, Maverick. We haven’t been to many movies since the lockdown. In fact this was our third movie on the big screen since that time.

When the movie started and familiar music played, I smiled. Memories of the first Top Gun rushed forward in my mind. All through 1985 our paper carried stories of behind the scene exploits. San Diego was the focus in the original. Dale was stationed on the base where it was filmed. I was an ombudsman there and helped to start the Family Service center on that base. There is one scene in the original where Maverick drives his bike the wrong way up the street. Little details that made the movie for us. Plus, being in a Navy town the excitement was high with cheers throughout the show.

Yes, it all came flooding back to me. This time, we strained to see what was just out of the view of the film , hoping to catch more of our old hometown. We knew exactly where many of the scenes took place. We would say where things were in almost every scene. We walked out of the theater smiling and discussing the film. The only thing missing for us was not being in a Navy town. The undercurrent of excitement was not there.

As I sat in the theater, watching and remembering, I looked over at Dale. Gratitude filled me. Because of him, my life has been a full one. I have seen and experienced so much. I am a small town girl. I married a small town boy. Together we grew up into this couple who has witnessed much together.

We can’t take full credit though. The Lord is the One who has gifted us. He knit us together when we were unraveling. He strengthened us when we were weak and faltering. He gave us orders to places we didn’t think we’d like, but He knew exactly what we needed. Yes, gratitude fills my heart.

“Oh give thanks to the Lord for He is good! For His mercies endure forever. ” Psalm 107:1 (NKJV)

Lamentations 3

“Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.  “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!” “Lamentations 3:22-24 (NKJV)
I

I try to read three chapters of the Bible each morning. Today I read Lamentations 3. I have read this chapter many times before, but it struck me today in a fresh way.

I felt like the writer of Lamentations. He talked about being struck down and forgotten by the Lord. He told of his trials and tests.

We relate to that. No one goes through life unscathed. There are times we feel like we are being drug through gravel and no one cares. We feel like if we pray, it is not heard, like God has gone on vacation and His mailbox is full. That is how it feels. Feelings are no always accurate. God never goes on vacation, his mailbox is never full. He hears. He listens. He knows what is best for us. His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. God is faithful even when we aren’t. That is why we can hope.

I want to share this chapter with you. My prayer is that it will minister to you restore your hope.

The Prophet’s Anguish and Hope

3 I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of His wrath.
He has led me and made me walk
In darkness and not in light.
Surely He has turned His hand against me
Time and time again throughout the day.

He has aged my flesh and my skin,
And broken my bones.
He has besieged me
And surrounded me with bitterness and woe.
He has set me in dark places
Like the dead of long ago.

He has hedged me in so that I cannot get out;
He has made my chain heavy.
Even when I cry and shout,
He shuts out my prayer.
He has blocked my ways with hewn stone;
He has made my paths crooked.

10 He has been to me a bear lying in wait,
Like a lion in ambush.
11 He has turned aside my ways and torn me in pieces;
He has made me desolate.
12 He has bent His bow
And set me up as a target for the arrow.

13 He has caused the arrows of His quiver
To pierce my loins.
14 I have become the ridicule of all my people—
Their taunting song all the day.
15 He has filled me with bitterness,
He has made me drink wormwood.

16 He has also broken my teeth with gravel,
And covered me with ashes.
17 You have moved my soul far from peace;
I have forgotten prosperity.
18 And I said, “My strength and my hope
Have perished from the Lord.”

19 Remember my affliction and roaming,
The wormwood and the gall.
20 My soul still remembers
And sinks within me.
21 This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.

22 Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”

25 The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
26 It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.
27 It is good for a man to bear
The yoke in his youth.

28 Let him sit alone and keep silent,
Because God has laid it on him;
29 Let him put his mouth in the dust—
There may yet be hope.
30 Let him give his cheek to the one who strikes him,
And be full of reproach.

31 For the Lord will not cast off forever.
32 Though He causes grief,
Yet He will show compassion
According to the multitude of His mercies.
33 For He does not afflict willingly,
Nor grieve the children of men.

34 To crush under one’s feet
All the prisoners of the earth,
35 To turn aside the justice due a man
Before the face of the Most High,
36 Or subvert a man in his cause—
The Lord does not approve.

37 Who is he who speaks and it comes to pass,
When the Lord has not commanded it?
38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
That woe and well-being proceed?
39 Why should a living man complain,
A man for the punishment of his sins?

40 Let us search out and examine our ways,
And turn back to the Lord;
41 Let us lift our hearts and hands
To God in heaven.
42 We have transgressed and rebelled;
You have not pardoned.

43 You have covered Yourself with anger
And pursued us;
You have slain and not pitied.
44 You have covered Yourself with a cloud,
That prayer should not pass through.
45 You have made us an offscouring and refuse
In the midst of the peoples.

46 All our enemies
Have opened their mouths against us.
47 Fear and a snare have come upon us,
Desolation and destruction.
48 My eyes overflow with rivers of water
For the destruction of the daughter of my people.

49 My eyes flow and do not cease,
Without interruption,
50 Till the Lord from heaven
Looks down and sees.
51 My eyes bring suffering to my soul
Because of all the daughters of my city.

52 My enemies without cause
Hunted me down like a bird.
53 They silenced my life in the pit
And threw stones at me.
54 The waters flowed over my head;
I said, “I am cut off!”

55 I called on Your name, O Lord,
From the lowest pit.
56 You have heard my voice:
“Do not hide Your ear
From my sighing, from my cry for help.”
57 You drew near on the day I called on You,
And said, “Do not fear!”

58 O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul;
You have redeemed my life.
59 O Lord, You have seen how I am wronged;
Judge my case.
60 You have seen all their vengeance,
All their schemes against me.

61 You have heard their reproach, O Lord,
All their schemes against me,
62 The lips of my enemies
And their whispering against me all the day.
63 Look at their sitting down and their rising up;
I am their taunting song.

64 Repay them, O Lord,
According to the work of their hands.
65 Give them a veiled heart;
Your curse be upon them!
66 In Your anger,
Pursue and destroy them
From under the heavens of the Lord.