Fumble Fingers

“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:13-14 (NKJV)

This is just one of my favorite verses. I try to remind myself of this verse daily. I have a hopeless case of comparison-itis. Yes, I just made up that word.

I read works from others, and some I personally know and I sit in awe of the way they express themselves. If I allow myself, I can become discouraged. I question if I am truly hearing from the Lord to write or if I am just doing an exercise for myself. (Just being truthful here, not needing encouragement)

Each morning I read a devotion from Max Lucado. He has such a wonderful way of expressing himself and drawing me into the Lord for the day. I am thankful for this little book of his.

As I read this morning the above thoughts came to mind. I wondered like I mentioned above if there was anyone I had touched like Mr. Lucado touches me with his words. (Again, just being truthful here.)

I know the Lord has called me to do what I am doing. I am excited to see how He is prospering my attempt to share good things about Him. It has been fun for me. I began to talk myself out of the comparison-itis and was feeling very positive, almost like I was confident in MY ability.

I messaged a friend today and I inadvertently hit several keys without realizing it and the message was a mess. The recipient will most likely look at it and wonder if I had been drinking this morning or maybe I am not mentally intact.

In this day when we text and get ‘fat fingers’ we understand goofs in messages and texts. My friends are well aware of my problem with fat fingers. But, although I am fearfully and wonderfully made, my problem isn’t just fat fingers. I had a memory come to me of why I think I am fumbled fingered. Years ago I applied for a job while stationed in Japan. It was for the headquarters of the command as a typist for their legal department. I went in, interviewed, and started the typing test. I sat, corrected my posture, placed my fingers on the keys and typed what was before me. I had great time. I ripped the paper out of the typewriter (which by the way is a great feeling) and turned it in. I was thanked for the interview and was told that I would hear in a few days.

The position was for a GS-9, a government position. My GS rating had expired while overseas. Dale later talked with the man who interviewed me. The man relayed that a current rating applied after I had and since their rating was active, they were hired. At the end of the conversation the man told Dale that my typing test was all wrong. I had placed my fingers on the wrong keys to start the test and my score was negative 180 words. I have always had fat fingers. They were actually going to hire me except for the person with the current rating.

Comparison-itis can be fatal. Fortunately, that one test stands out to me often. I failed miserably, yet, they were going to hire me. Comparing ourselves to others is like questioning if the Lord actually did create each of us in a wonderful and fearful manner. We are looking at the giftings and abilities of others and wonder why we can’t be like them. We will never be like ‘them’, simply because we are NOT them.

Yes, I may make typing errors often. My sentence structure may be off. I may not be as deep spiritually as I would like. I know, though, that God uses us when we are willing to be used. He uses broken vessels and those of us with fumbled fingers.

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