Category: Prayer

It’s Who I Am

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“How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? 2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart daily? How long will my enemy be exalted over me?” Psalm 13:1-2 (NKJV)

This morning as I read Psalm 13, my mind wandered back to a time, when psalms of lament were a constant in my life. I suffered from depression for many years. They were hard years, and yet, looking back on them, I now see how much I grew in my faith and dependence in the Lord.

When living under a cloud and having daughters that needed my help, I struggled greatly to be present for them. I was in counseling and under a doctor’s care during that time. They were helpful, but, the brunt of the work and figuring it all out was on my shoulders. I knew then and know now, that in and of myself, I could do nothing about it. I was stuck in a mire of hopelessness and despondency. But, as Psalm 13 ends with,“But I have trusted in Your mercy; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, Because He has dealt bountifully with me.” Psalm 13:5-6 (NKJV)

I learned that even in the darkest times of my life, my God is there. He never shifts, never changes. He is the same today, yesterday and forever.

Shortly after reading this psalm today, a song started to play. It was the perfect summation of that time for me. It is how it resolved. It’s who I am.

Who Am I

Casting Crowns

“Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way for my ever wandering heart?

Not because of who I am, but because of what You’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done, but because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean), a vapor in the wind
Still, You hear me when I’m calling, Lord, You catch me when I’m falling
And You’ve told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again?
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain and calm the storm in me?

Not because of who I am, but because of what You’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done, but because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean), a vapor in the wind
Still, You hear me when I’m calling, Lord, You catch me when I’m falling
And You’ve told me who I am (I am)
I am Yours

Not because of who I am, but because of what You’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done, but because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean), a vapor in the wind
Still, You hear me when I’m calling, Lord, You catch me when I’m falling
You’ve told me who I am (I am)
I am Yours

I am Yours, I am Yours, oh

Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?
‘Cause I am Yours, I am Yours”

At That Glorious Name

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“Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names,” Philippians 2:9 (NLT)

Jesus, the name above all names. It is a name I cling to. In many times through these years I have whispered His name, I have screamed His name, I have sung about His name. In His name, I have peace deep within me.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18 (NLT)

Days and nights when I was alone and lonely, His name is the name I called upon. When times came where I felt it was the end of my life as I knew it, He was there. Bringing comfort and assurance that things would be okay.

“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20b (NLT)

Knowing this truth, I can face whatever is in front of me. For I know that no matter the situation or circumstance my God is with me. He will not forsake me.

During this time of preparation for Christmas, it is good to remember and recall the times that the Name above All Names is with us. This is Who the angels declared to the shepherds, the birth of the most glorious Savior.

Reminders of Dedication

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” 27 I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request. 28 Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life.” And they<sup data-fn="#fen-NLT-7217a" class="footnote" data-link="[<a href="#fen-NLT-7217a" title="See footnote a">a worshiped the Lord there.” I Samuel 1:27-28 (NLT)

Having children was a deep desire in Dale’s and my life. The doctors disagreed, nodding their heads and saying it might not be possible. I knew that God was greater than anything that “might not be possible”.

I can remember reading the book of Samuel and praying for this experience. We dedicated our daughters to the Lord. We brought them to our pastors before they were a year old and we gave their lives to God, knowing that He is indeed capable of leading and guiding them.

There is a quote by Alfred Lord Tennyson that says, “God gives us Love, something to love, God lends us.”

I have carried this quote in my heart most of my adult life. We are only here for what could be a burp in eternity. Same with those we love. Life is a precious commodity.

The same is true with our children. We only have our children for a brief while. Then they do what we have both prayed for and dreaded, they go out and live their lives. They marry, they have children, they have their own set of joys and fears and problems.

As a parent we are proud of the accomplishments of our children. I personally know that I did not do much, but kept giving them to the Lord. Sometimes, I confess, I wanted to send them to the Lord, during sleepless nights of ear infections and teething. Sometimes when it was chaos to experience them navigating through middle school, and high school. By time college came, my prayers changed, I daily gave them to the Lord, reminding Him that they were His and problems that I may have noticed, I couldn’t take control of and fix.

Fix is what we do as parents when our children are young. They depend on it. We are fixers of toys, of ripped pieces of little paper, of skinned knees. We kiss away their tears, we bandage boo-boo’s, and we put heads back onto baby dolls. Fix is what we attempt when life starts to affect them. They still depend on it, although they begin to repair things on their own. We dry tears over rough days at high school, we dry tears over a break-up with a boyfriend, we comfort over a test that didn’t go well. By this point, we fix by spending a day of playing hooky from school, drinking cups of tea together, by going shopping. It doesn’t cure anything, but it re-centers them.

Both of our daughters are grown. They are in the ‘fixing’ business now. There are times, though, when a phone call comes and you know in your mother’s heart, there is a need. No longer do I need to ‘fix’ something, but I need to listen.These are the most trying times. These are the times when I go back to the Lord, and remember the time that I handed our daughters to our pastors and they prayed over them (and us) a prayer of dedication to our Lord. These are the times when, I remember the day of dedication for our oldest. It was Sunday, April 1st, and as I opened my eyes in the morning, I smiled as I thought of the day. It was the day our oldest was going to be dedicated. I heard in my heart, “Are you truly going to give her to Me, or is this an April Fool’s joke?” I answered and said to the Lord, out loud, “She is Yours’ “.

There are times when I have to be reminded that these beautiful women are the Lord’s. That is when, instead of hugging and wiping away tears and fears, I pray and ask the Lord to be there for them, giving them strength, courage, and wisdom.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

Hide and Seek

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“Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near.” Isaiah 55:6 (NKJV)

There is nothing like a good game of hide and seek, especially if you are good at hiding.

When Little Miss was in kindergarten, the schools were virtual. Once while visiting her, during that time frame, we watched as she struggled with a new situation in her young life. She was starting school, but still she was at home with snacks readily available and toys near by. It was an odd time.

When she had a lunch break which was for at least 45 minutes to an hour, she would eat her lunch and then we’d play hide and seek with her Mom. Grampy also joined in. It was a fun adventure in the middle of a peculiar day.

I loved it when I could hide. I am pretty good at hiding. Most of the time, Little Miss had to seek me for a bit. It was so much fun. Her Mom and I would talk later about hiding spots and the best times we had hidden ourselves.

This morning during my quiet time I thought of the game of hide and seek. It occurred to me that I often play the game with God. Sometimes I hide from Him, thinking that He won’t find me. I know that sounds ridiculous, as the One who created the universe and everyone in it, couldn’t readily find me.

But, like playing with a young child, you give them grace. Although they may be hiding in plain sight, you pass by them questioning where they may be. Eventually with giggles resounding they will reveal themselves.

How often are we like little children when we try to hide from God? The difference, though, is when we reveal ourselves it is with repentance and tears.

In the great scheme of things, when we grow distant from God, we think He is hiding. We wonder why we do not hear Him, we do not see Him in our daily lives. We question why the distance from Him is so great. Actually, God does not hide from us. We fail to see Him. He is daily visible, in the outdoors, in our family, in our friends. He gloriously reveals Himself in every aspect of our lives.

Psalm 9:10 says, “And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.” (NKJV)

The Balancing Act of Christmas

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“For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”Isaiah 9:6 (NKJV)

Christmas is for children. But it is for grown-ups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts. ~Lenora Mattingly Weber (1895–1971)

The pulling of the heart and conscience starts. The heart wants to decorate and fill the home with garland and festive balls and bulbs. Go shopping and buy things to wrap with beautiful ribbon and paper. But the heart also yearns to keep the celebration about the birthday of the Christ.

We place our manger scenes near the tree to remind us that Christmas is not just in baubles and bows. But does it truly work?

This week I begin to decorate. The past year the toy room has been a haven for seasonal decorations that have been tossed in and not properly put away. I keep telling myself it will make it easier to get things out. I also chide myself for being so lazy that I haven’t put stuff away properly.

Today one wreath was hung on our front door. Thanksgiving decorations lay on the end table waiting to be lugged upstairs. The battle has begun for me.

Just looking at this tires me out, yet another part of me is thrilled. Christmas can truly be a battle. Yet, it is one that I happily face each year.

As far as decorating, I both dread it and cannot wait for it. This year is no different. I know that the decorations do not make Christmas better, but to me, they are a reminder that we are celebrating the greatest gift ever given to man. We are preparing to remember His birth. I am reminded that His life gave us a precious gift of salvation, and no other gift can top that. But, we can give a gift to those we love as a gesture and commemoration of that gift.

I strive each day of December to be balanced in my celebration. Yes, I love those Christmas songs about reindeer and red noses, I love to hear about Grandma being run over by an errant reindeer, I remember wanting those two front teeth. These are all part of the month.

I also try not to scream humbug! as my feet tingle after a day of shopping. I do sing to my daughters after I have purchased the first gift of the season. Christmas is coming… the goose is getting fat… I half hope it annoys them and reminds them of me singing to them in the car picking them up at school.

Christmas is a battle of all things. Celebration, remembrance, times of grief, times of loneliness, times of worship, times of glee. It’s compounded into four weeks of whirlwind activity.

I hope this year to avoid a battle and take each day and fill it with balance. To be like the Grinch and have my heart grow three times larger, or like Scrooge and carry Christmas all year.

“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10b (NKJV)

Thanksgiving Week #3

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“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6- (NLT)

I grew up in a small town. It was an idyllic town, where everyone knew everyone and it was safe. I thought I always wanted to stay there and be content.

Then, I married a sailor. My life was transformed on that day, I left the security of my small hometown. I was literally plunged into strange environments. Being from the North, going to the South was confusing to me. I had no footing, nothing was familiar.

From the South, we moved to Japan. Now, that was really confusing to me, but somehow it was much more comforting than our first duty station together. The Lord began to work in me.

Eventually, we ended up in Southern California. We watched the city grow from a dirty navy town into a metropolitan area. With the growth came the influx of the homeless. I know there are many reasons for homelessness, and I am not going to go into that topic. I just mention this to make a point.

Upon seeing those who were destitute, I realized how fortunate I am. Too often we take for granted those things around us. A roof over our heads, heat that can be turned on and off, shoes for our feet, blankets to sleep under, beds to sleep on. I often remind myself of the blessings I have.

I may not have the best of all things, but, this Thanksgiving Day I am certain of this. For all that I do have, I am grateful. For the meal that I will eat, I am grateful. For the family around the table, I am grateful.

In this season of glitter and lists and shopping, I am thankful for what I will be able to do, who I will be able to bless in some way.

Lord, on this Thanksgiving Day, thank You for Your glorious provisions. You know that I have come to You many times asking for peace, for reassurance, for comfort. You also know that You remind me of the bountiful blessings that surround me. So, today, Lord, let those who are frightened, cold, and unsure be touched by those who will minister to them. Keep the cold warm, the discouraged, encouraged, and those without hope, shine into their lives. Help me to do what I can willingly. Let me reflect Your glory. Amen.

Thanksgiving week

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“1 Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth! 2 Worship the Lord with gladness.
    Come before him, singing with joy. 3 Acknowledge that the Lord is God!
    He made us, and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture.” Psalm 100″1-3 (NLT)

Almost every morning Dale and I discuss what we want to accomplish during the day. Sometimes these plans clash, which is always good to know and rearrange if we need to.

This morning we both have a long list of things we’d like to see done. Our oldest and her family are traveling today to spend Thanksgiving with us.

My first task is an easy one, and I am doing it now. The past three weeks in church has reminded me over and over that I am supposed to write. I know that deep down inside me, but the constant battle is what do I have to say? Each day I remind myself that I, in and of myself, have nothing profound to say, but God. He can help me write and through Him, lives can be touched. That is my prayer and hope.

Holiday season comes upon us quickly and it is easy to look at the tsunami of things to do and buy and get completely overwhelmed. This week starts that tsunami.

The past few years I could look around my home at this time and see decorating all done, cards in a stack, ready for the mail, and some gifts already bought. This year, as has happened all this year, not so much.

Yes, the holidays can be fun. They can be rushed and hurried. I am moving slower this year. At first it bothered me, but, I am getting comfortable in my pace.

When I rush, the things I want to enjoy, the things I feel I need to do take the back seat in my life. I hurriedly rush through my advent devotional, thinking that I hope something sinks in and I will be able to truly focus on the meaning of the holidays.

So, today, as we start out getting ‘things’ done, I am thankful that we can still do things. I am thankful that we have each other. I am thankful that tasks need to be evaluated as to the importance of it. I am thankful for a slower me.

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever,  and his faithfulness continues to each generation.” Psalm 100:4-5 (NLT)

God is so Good

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“Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!”Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!” Psalm 34:8 (NLT)

There are times that I fight sitting down, relaxing and resting. I keep going even when I know I am tired. Then there are days when I sit and wrap up in a blanket and soak in the comfort and the quiet.

As it is Sunday, we went to church today. Sometimes sermons seem to hit you right between the eyes. You leave church and say, ‘Man, I needed to hear that today.” Come Monday, you are refreshed, but thoughts of the sermon begin to fade.

I have written about the sermon last week. Today’s sermon made it three weeks of being hit between the eyes. I can understand one Sunday, but three in a row? On the way out of church today, after shaking our pastor’s hand, I stopped and said to him, “This is ridiculous. I’ll bend over and you can give me a kick in the backside.” I think he was almost willing to do so.

The point being, the Lord has been shining a beacon on me and highlighting areas of my life that I thought were safe. Yes, it does ruffle some part of me, but not in a bad way. It is like I am being wrapped in a heavenly blanket that swaddles me and allows me to be quieted and listen to the details.

Often times we listen and hear the words being said to us, but we miss out on the details of what is being said. A few weeks ago as I walked and talked with our Lord, I heard the phrase, “you are entering a new season.” I looked around and glibly said, “yes, fall.” The Lord knows how sarcastic I can be, even with Him. I then heard, “No, a new season.”

As I really have no idea what that means, I am beginning to realize after the past three Sundays of the sermons hitting me square on, that yes, I may be about to enter a new season.

I can’t begin to surmise what that could be, but as I sit here in front of our fireplace with a glowing fire, that I am at peace. The same God who created me and saved me is the same God that leads me into a new season.

Morning Prayer

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Thank You, Lord for this new day. It is fresh and as of yet, has no mistakes in it. You are a glorious God! I praise You that I can sit and write and look out at Your glory through my windows. Thank you for this house, for the warmth and for Your provision.

Your majesty is reflected in the sun You created. The sparkle of the frost the You brought and the life You are creating during this dormant time of winter.

I am so grateful Lord for all You have given me. For those who are struggling today, give them direction and peace. Be a very present help to those in need. Reveal Yourself to those who are searching. Draw us who know You, closer to You. Let us sit upon Your lap, listening to Your heartbeat. Wrap Your loving arms about us and hold us.

I give You this day and all that it holds. Keep my focus on You and You alone.

In Your precious name, I pray. Amen

“But as for me, I will sing about your power.    Each morning I will sing with joy about your unfailing love.For you have been my refuge,    a place of safety when I am in distress.” Psalm 59:16 (NLT)

And then the Rains fell

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“10 After seven days, the waters of the flood came and covered the earth. 11 When Noah was 600 years old, on the seventeenth day of the second month, all the underground waters erupted from the earth, and the rain fell in mighty torrents from the sky. 12 The rain continued to fall for forty days and forty nights.” Genesis 7:10-12 (NLT)

This is the day after the mid term elections here in the states. Reading my facebook page today I saw many posts talking about fear and disappointment, some angry, some questioning. Interesting news feed today.

In the days leading up to the flood, Noah and his family built an ark. People ridiculed him and his family. They were called names, they were laughed at. Insults were hurled and I imagine that objects also were hurled. Noah stood his ground. He completed his task. He shared what the Lord had told him. He invited his neighbors to join them. He warned them of impending doom. No one listened. They heard what he said. They witnessed what they were building. They saw the animals walk through their towns and villages toward the ark. Yet they did not listen or believe.

Yesterday as Dale and I headed to the polls we prayed. We prayed for the day, the country, the machines. We prayed for the counting. We ended the prayer asking that the Lord’s will be done.

Politically, I am one of those people who are referred to as many things. None of them positive. I have heard many names thrown my way in my life. My height in elementary school was a cause for name calling, Stilts, Legs,Wilt the Stilt, Jolly Green Giant. You get the idea. In elementary school you don’t realize that someday gravity takes over and you then become the incredible shrinking woman.

Personally, in the past couple of years I have had my beliefs questioned and told that how I believe is wrong and that basically I am headed straight to hell.

All of this is nothing. I know what I believe, I know why I do believe in things, in the Lord and in my country. I stand by what I believe. I know that in this day and age, thinking against the flow puts a giant bullseye on you. I wear my bullseye proudly.

For, you see, that little verse that we sing-sang as children comes into play. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but, names will never hurt me.” I gladly hear the names and know that one name will never go away, the name of Christian.

The Bible has talked about this time in the world. What I see happening, watch on the news, hear in conversations, this was all foretold.

Elections come and go. As is human nature, lies are told, falsehoods are given higher standards, cheating and stealing happens. We will all have to answer for any of this. For we are all guilty, not just during elections, but in daily life.

“You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. 2 For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. 3 They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. 4 They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 5 They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!” 2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NLT)

People can come against you for using the wrong version of the Bible, they can condemn what you watch, they can be full of judgement. It is a sign of the times. We have been told.

“7 Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world.” Matthew 24:7 (NLT)

Does any of this sound familiar? It does to me. But, like Esther, we were born at this time to live in this time, to face what is happening ~ for such a time as this.

I have hope. Not in the electorate, not in the government, not in humanity. My trust is in my Lord.

Things can change in a world. Elections tend to awaken people to the change happening, and then once aroused from slumber they notice and soon the slumber comes back.

My trust is in God. None of the events of yesterday and of the next few days of haggling and discussing and fighting and recounting has made God wring His perfect hands on His throne. He is constant and true.

“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20b (NLT)