Category: Memories

My Baby

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Almost 40 years ago today, my youngest was born. Dale was out to sea, and I had just moved our belongings into our newly purchased home with friends helping. We still had baby things and nursery things in our garage, not set up or ready to go.

Again, my brother from another mother and his wife were at the ready to keep me going. She was with me for labor and the birth of our youngest and he put the crib and changing table together.

Our youngest was a rainbow baby, a baby born after the loss of another. She was and still is a rainbow in our lives. She taught me joy, a deep abiding joy. She taught me to laugh harder than I had ever known. Her quiet spirit is evident in all she does.

I write about her birthday almost every year. It is a time of joy for Dale and I. We are blessed by this gift from our Lord. Each year I also struggle with how to describe this woman. She is multi-faceted in her abilities and her giftings, yet each time I fail to totally portray her.

Our children are precious gifts to us. Each one teaches you different things. Each one grows into an unique adult. I stand back often and think of my daughters. The women they are and how they got to be where they are. On birthdays especially, I look at their lives and remember the impact they made on me, how they shaped me into the person I am today.

So, happiest of birthdays my dear Rachel. You are a gift and a joy. I hope you are spoiled with gifts and love as you have spoiled me with the gift of you. Thank you for being you. Love you.

Genesis 2:1-3

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“So the creation of the heavens and the earth and everything in them was completed. 2 On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested[a] from all his work. 3 And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation.” Genesis 2:1-3 (NLT)

With each day there was a boundary established by God, day, night, sea, land, seed bearing fruit, trees, birds, fish. Each creation had a boundary. Then He rested.

For the past two weeks, I have not given myself boundaries. I did not schedule time to write or really exercise. I enjoyed the company of my daughter, her husband and our Little Miss. Each day held it’s own excitement and adventures, even if it was just sitting on the couch watching television and playing restaurant. Each day gave me memories to cherish.

Now, we are home. Today I awoke with determination to get back into full swing of schedules. I have half succeeded. Laundry is finishing, most of the groceries are put away, and although writing has been on the forefront of my mind, these words are my only accomplishment.

I tend to be pretty hard on myself when I am not in a regimen. I look at numbers in my statistics on my blog, each time reminding myself that stats are just numbers. That does not always work for me, because with each number I see a person that has reached out to me. Each person who reads what I attempt to say is a gift to me, after all, they have taken time from their day to see what I have tried to say.

When my stats go to ‘0’ or ‘1’, I chide myself. I see in my mind a finger pointing at me and scolding me for not being where I think I should be. There are a lot of “I’s” in these sentences. It is then, that I remember that this blog is a gift also. My words do not come without a lot of prayer and my Lord sees the entire perspective. This blog belongs to Him and only through Him can I write.

So, after pushing myself to get back on track, fretting and stewing that I am not back where I think I should be, I have heard a gentle voice whispering, “Chill out! I’ve got this.” Followed by my thankfulness that I serve a God who understands me.

New Beginnings

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“School is a building which has four walls with tomorrow inside.” – Lon Watters

Last night we went to Little Miss’ school to meet her teacher for this coming year and see her classroom.

It’s been a long time since I was able to participate in such an activity. Her teacher greeted us and introduced herself to our granddaughter, who then took off to talk with friends and explore her second grade classroom.

It was fun to see the manipulatives on the shelves, the books in the library, the signs on walls. Everything was fascinating to me.

I was surprised that this simple trip brought back a flood of memories. I thought of my daughter’s second grade classes and most of all, I thought of my own second grade year. This took me back in time, thinking of my teacher, classmates the ones who remain friends, the ones that were goofy, but now are wonderful people. I also thought of events that happened in my second grade year. Little things that don’t matter much, except to seven and eight year olds.

Time has a way of fleeting by us. Sometimes we think that days, weeks, months or years drag by. We wait anxiously for milestones to occur, we look forward to big things and little things.

Last night I went to meet my granddaughter’s second grade teacher and was flooded with memories from sixty years ago. In the hours after attending, I wondered how the time had flown.

“School bells are ringing loud and clear; vacation’s over, school is here.” — Winifred C. Marshal

A Glimpse ~ God, Our Hiding Place

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“You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.” Psalm 32:7 (NKJV)

With a shout of “Ready or not, here I come” the searching begins in a game of hide and seek. We have each played this game, trying to find the best hiding spots. Our granddaughter loves this game and I have played it with her, finding spots where she would not look. She is a great ‘hider’ too. She has stumped me many times.

Hiding in play is one thing, but I remember my youngest would often try to hide behind me when she was around strangers. I was her shield and protection. I sometimes would gently pull her from behind me to introduce her to people and allow her to warm up to them.

I have been known to just hide. This is during times of stress for me, when I need to collect my thoughts and my peace. I usually quietly head to a closet and stand there. If I have to, I take a deep breath and start to pray, sometimes crying when situations have upset me emotionally.

God is our Hiding Place. In times of distress, I can picture myself like my youngest, grabbing onto the robe of God and hiding there, occasionally peeking our from around Him to glimpse at what is going on. As He is the perfect parent, He knows I am there and allows me to use Him as a shield. But, when the time comes, He gently reaches around and brings me out, reassuring me that is it okay and I no longer need to hide.

God is always there. He is always ready to be that perfect place to hide. It is not a fearful place, or an obvious place, but He is a place of security and protection. A perfect hiding spot.

Our Foundation ~ Chief Cornerstone

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“Therefore thus says the Lord God: “Behold, I lay in Zion a stone for a foundation,
A tried stone, a precious cornerstone, a sure foundation; Whoever believes will not act hastily.” Isaiah 28:16 (NKJV)

As I have mentioned before, I grew up in Pennsylvania. In school we learned that our state was known as the “Keystone State”. A keystone by definition is a wedge that holds an arch together; something on which associated things depend upon. I have always been fascinated by keystones. I look at buildings trying to see the keystone.

A synonym of keystone is Cornerstone. Jesus is the Chief Cornerstone, there is nothing greater to hold us together. Without Him, everything would crumble.

Ephesians 2:19-22 says,”So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family. 20 Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. 21 We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. 22 Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit”

Thinking about this, it is a fascinating thing to realize that cornerstones play a vital part in our lives. Everything built around us depends on a keystone/cornerstone. Without that, we would not have roofs or walls surrounding us. In fact, there would be no stable buildings. We depend on the stability and structure of things around us, otherwise we could not function as easily as we do.

Jesus is our Chief Cornerstone. He holds this world together. He is Creator, Healer, our Covering, our Peace, our Stability. We cannot function without Him.

In an arch, all the stones rely on the keystone. The keystone is what gives the arch an ability to stand. I know, like those stones, I cannot stand without the Chief Cornerstone.

The Lord our Banner ~ Jehovah Nissi

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“After the victory, the Lord instructed Moses, “Write this down on a scroll as a permanent reminder, and read it aloud to Joshua: I will erase the memory of Amalek from under heaven.” 15 Moses built an altar there and named it Yahweh-Nissi (which means “the Lord is my banner”).” Exodus 17:14-15 (NLT)

When we lived in San Diego, our church would have worship celebrations with music and praise and worship. These were wonderful celebrations that took months of preparing. I remember several of them, but one stands out to me. I will try to capture the essence of this time in words, which I know will not give it just due. Click on the paragraph below to hear the music that was played.

Sitting in our pew, the doors of the church closed. The lights are dimmed and it is quiet. Then, music starts, a march, with trumpets resounding. The doors open, the lights are brought up, and children frolic down the aisle, somersaults, cart wheels, behind them, young people carrying small brightly colored flags. Then, there appears banners, large ones, being carried by young adults. The singers are singing. Chills run down your back.

The procession continues, with grace, dignity and a boldness. The group gathers on the platform and the song continues. The theme for this celebration is set. We will lift God our Banner high.

Now, for the most part we only think of God being our banner in the Old testament and in the example of a worship celebration. It’s nice, it’s a good reminder of Exodus, but that’s about all the thought it is given.

A banner can be a sign, an invitation, they also commemorate, bring to remembrance and honor. God delivered His people in a time of war, He was the banner over the situations the Israelites faced. He provided and was victorious.

The same is true today. We may not build altars, but we do tell of answered prayers. We testify of battles won with our finances, our health, our employment, our family. God is our Banner.

We proclaim the goodness of God. We tell of our devotion to Him. We say we are resting in His arms, that He is covering us. We are under His banner. It may not be a visible banner, but it is there all the same.

The children sing, “His banner over me is love.” Yes, that it is, it is also a covering, a protection that blankets us. He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and we need to lift Him up in honor, in recognition and praise.

The Lord who Heals Me ~ Jehovah Rapha

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I am the God that Healeth thee I am the Lord Your healer I sent My word
And I healed your disease I am the Lord Your healer

You are the God that Healeth me You are the Lord My healer You sent Your word And You healed my disease You are the Lord My healer You sent Your word And You healed My disease You are the Lord My healer You sent Your word And You healed My disease You are the Lord My healer Lyrics Don Moen, I am the Lord who healeth you

Exodus 1:2-26 says, “So he cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a tree. When he cast it into the waters, the waters were made sweet. There He made a statute and an ordinance for them, and there He tested them, 26 and said, “If you diligently heed the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in His sight, give ear to His commandments and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you which I have brought on the Egyptians. For I am the Lord who heals you.” (NKJV)

We acknowledge that God is a mighty God, that He is good, just, protects, provides and sees us, but most stop there. Our God heals. Let me repeat that, Our God Heals.

I think our health is one issue we pray for the most. It’s easy to say we need prayer and mention an infirmity. How often do we ask for prayer and while being prayed for we are thinking, well, we’ll see what the doctor says when I go this week? I am guilty of this.

In response to this, I have to challenge myself and ask rightly, ‘If I am thinking of a doctor then why am I asking for prayer?’ Do I believe that God is more capable than a physician here on earth? God is the great Physician. He is Jehovah Rapha.

The New Testament is filled with healing miracles from Jesus and through His disciples. Our God heals.

Now, the wavering I have felt at times could be legitimate, but, I have seen God heal. He removed a tumor in me and left scar tissue, which confounded my surgeon. It was years ago and you can still see the scar tissue to this day on a mammogram.

I have seen blind people regain their sight. Twice I have seen this. One was a teenager and the other a grown man. One in Maine and the other in San Diego.

I have seen someone healed from pancreatic cancer, seen it totally removed from a person who was in the late stages of the disease.

Yes, God heals. He does it today. It wasn’t for olden times, biblical times, His healing is for now. Yet, do we pray expecting to receive a miracle? Do we ask in faith believing?

Jehovah-Rapha, You are the God who heals. Heal all reading who need a physical, emotional or mental touch from You. Remove disease, restore health to bodies. Heal those who are mentally and emotionally exhausted, restore peace and calm to them. Lord, let us pray believing that You will hear and heal. Thank you for what You do Lord. Amen

Back to School

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“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NLT)

School started back this morning here in the upstate. My facebook page is filled with first day of school photos of kids either very excited or the middle school and high school kids with sleepy expressions and that first day of school look. I smile with each picture I see, as I remember the feeling of the first day of school and I think of my daughter’s first day of school each year.

It is the feeling on mornings like this that the school year looms ominously ahead. Going back to having to wake up early, starting a schedule again, and the uncertainty of what the year holds. To me, it is a reminder of when to plan my shopping trips so that I don’t end up behind school buses making the thirty minute trip to town more like forty-five minutes.

My Little Man started his school year last week. He is homeschooled, and in the fifth grade. I know his fifth grade teacher is much better than my own. Of course, I also know my youngest is an excellent teacher. Little Miss starts early September. She will head into second grade.

This fall, my younger sister will realize she is a retired teacher. She retired in June, but, like every year previous, she had the summer off. She is now realizing that there are no lesson plans to get ready, no classroom to prepare, that school is out forever. In years past, she said school was a word off limits for the month of July and August. I remember hearing that and still I smile. I can’t help but feel a bit melancholy for her this year. She touched so many lives which in turn will reach future generations. I admire her.

So, as I think of this new school year, all bright and shiny with new pens, pencils and crayons that have points I pray for each teacher, student, cafeteria workers, bus drivers, and staff that helps everyone run. May this be a year of joy. A year of learning, not only head knowledge, but heart knowledge. May there be peace and safety on the school grounds and on the bus runs. May our Lord bless those who touch our precious ones with learning.

Just Under the Surface

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“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19 (NLT)

I can remember watching my Dad watch the news or speeches on television. He would always look at the t.v., and start yelling at whoever was on the screen. I thought this was a bit overkill, as the only people who heard what he was saying were in the house, and if it was summer and the windows were open, those in the neighborhood.

I couldn’t understand this until a few years ago. I then realized that a part of my Dad lived on in me. I actually try not to listen to much news. I know that is terrible, but I listen to know what is going on and I read, but I cannot sit and listen and be still. I usually stand up and walk towards the t.v., yelling as I go. I then turn to Dale and express my outrage. Every. Single. Time.

For the most part, I am a sane human being. Some would call me gentle, kind, funny. They have never seen me watch the news. I have a comment for everything, and sometimes that’s not good. I do repent, but then I feel compelled to explain my position to the Lord. I’m sure it’s like watching the cartoons with the tasmanian devil, you don’t know whether to laugh or slap him. I do picture the Lord on His throne looking over to the Father and commenting that eventually I will wear myself out and then I will be quiet.

Needless to say, I have not come to the point of living like the above scripture suggests. Even when I do succeed in being quiet, my facial expressions are screaming.

Sometimes I just have to let you know how I truly am.

Memories of Maine

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The other day my oldest daughter and I started to reminisce about Maine. We were stationed there in the early 80’s. Our oldest was five months old when we reported to our duty station in Winter Harbor. We left Maine when she was three.

Since that time, we have gone back just a few times. The last time we visited, our oldest was going into sixth grade. I was surprised at how many sights she remembered from Maine. I smiled to myself to hear her talk about Downeast Maine.

I mentioned a few more sights and with each mention, she got a bit more excited. After talking with her, I have not stopped thinking about our time there. It was a special place to live. The Navy community was small, and close knit. Friendships were formed that still last to this day. I often say I left a big part of my heart there.

This morning I woke up early. Usually when I awake that early I fall back to sleep easily. This morning was not so. I turned over and my eyes popped open and my brain was racing with clarity. In my mind, I walked through the little town where we lived. I could picture things that I am sure are no longer there. The Donut Hole, a building that looked like a fishing shack that overlooked the water. On the wall hung many mugs belonging to the regulars. There was always some group of fishermen, lobstermen, or locals sitting around tables, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Across the street was a grocery store, where you were greeted warmly whenever you went in.

I often walked into town with our daughter. We would visit the Five and Dime store and I would glance across the street to the drug store that had a soda counter in it. The town still calls to me. My heart still yearns to be back there.

The Navy has long since left the area. The housing for military personnel are now privately owned or rented out to tourists.

I can still hear the waves crashing onto the rocks and the shore. Having been a Navy family, we were always around a body of water, but the coast of Maine remains the most beautiful coast to me. The water is grey. The air is brisk. It churns with energy unlike the lapping water of many of the coasts I have been around. I can still feel the smell of the water, it filled your senses and made me feel alive. In winter it was especially angry, always turbulent, like it was trying not to freeze over in the frigid temperature. I love the coast of Downeast Maine.

Yes, a large piece of my heart is in Maine, as it became a part of me. The experience of living there, meeting the people there is woven into me. It has been forty years since we left, yet I can return there rapidly in my mind.

It’s easy to yearn for places you have been. To recall the sights, the sounds, the smells and long to return. It’s a known place to you.

“In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. 4 And where I go you know, and the way you know.” John 14:2-4 (NKJV)

Jesus promised us a place with Him. The Master Carpenter is preparing a mansion for us. He is coming back for us.

Although I have never been there, have never lived there, there is a place deep within me that yearns for Heaven a little more than I yearn for Winter Harbor. My heart lies in Heaven, and it waits to be there with my Lord.