Category: family

Little Man Lesson #2

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(Original post from September 2013, on dearanonymousfriend, my other blog)

Today my dear daughter started back to teaching pre-school.  She was as organized as much as she could be.  We got up, and she got ready to head out the door.

I even managed to keep our dear little man distracted so he did not see his Momma head off to work.  It was a quiet transition and I was so pleased.   I know it made his Momma a bit relieved that there were no tears or drama at the door.

As we started our morning, my phone rang.  It was my daughter… all organized but, wrong set of keys in hand.  Plus I had the fob to enter the building where they live.  She was outside the apartment building and needed the other set of keys.  So, grabbing our little man, I retrieved the correct keys and headed outside.

Jubilation at seeing his Momma is an understatement.  After all, it had been 20 minutes since the last time he had seen her.  We switched the keys and then she did the unspeakable.  She got back in the car and drove off.  She left little man and me standing beside the parking lot.

No, this did not go well.  Not at all.  Little man expressed his displeasure.  He cried like there was not going to be any happiness ever again on the face of this earth.  My heart broke with him.

We walked back into the apartment, all the time I tried to comfort him.  He was not willing to be consoled.

Once inside I looked at him and said, ‘Do you want to read a book?’   The tears dried and off he toddled to pick out a book to share.  He has many good books to share.

What I learned is this.  Yes, I can be broken-hearted.  I can feel like consolation is nowhere to be found.  I can cry.  It’s alright to do all of this.  But, then I can go and read a Book that is wonderful to share.  I can open this Book and sit with One who loves me and cares for me in my broken state.  My tears will be dried and I will be comforted as I sit in my Creator’s lap reading the words He has spoken.

17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.  Psalm 34:17-18 (NLT)

A Little Man Lesson #1

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“You made the moon to mark the seasons, and the sun knows when to set.” Psalm 104:19(NLT)

(Reposted and reworked from Sept. 2013 on dearanonymousfriend, my other blog)

Last evening, after I had arrived at my precious daughter and son-in-law’s home, we took a walk.  It was a nice evening for a long walk and we covered a nice area.

We ended up at a park that they hadn’t explored.  We played on teeter totters and rocking horse type swings and slides and more swings.  There were gales of laughter and giggles (from me… the baby was laughing also).  We had a wonderful time.

As we were heading back to the stroller the baby bent down and picked up a leaf.  The leaf was starting to turn brown and was at the point of being able to be crunched, if stepped upon.  However this leaf was not meant to be crunched at this time.  My precious little man picked it up gently, and walked over to another tree and tried to put the leaf back onto the tree.

He looked a bit confused when the leaf refused to be put away, and his Momma explained that leaves fall and that is how it is.

I have thought of this all day long today.  First of all, we take for granted leaves on the ground.  Some may grumble that they have to be raked up and disposed of.  Others know that the leaves have abandoned their posts on the trees in preparation for winter.  These leaves are meant to be crunched on as a part of the passage from summer to fall.

“As long as the earth remains, there will be planting and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night.” Genesis 8:22 (NLT)

But, this leaf was gently picked up and considered.

Then, there was the attempt to put the leaf back onto the tree.  It was a precious gesture.  The baby knew that leaves belong on trees and therefore, it needed to put back onto the branches where the green leaves were hanging.

This is what I got from watching this.  I too often pass situations up, people also.  I see them ‘laying on the ground’ and don’t notice them.  The situations or people don’t vie for attention.  So, they are left to be trodden underfoot and ignored. Quietly suffering alone.

That, in itself, is powerful enough.  But, no, my precious 13 1/2 month teacher went on to show me more.  How often do we try to put things back into place when the time for them there is over?  How many times do we try to keep doing something when the end date is weeks or months ago?

Sometimes it is wiser to let things lie, let them go and move on to a new season of life.  This can be difficult, but there are situations where change is not only necessary, but vital.

Today, my lesson was refreshed, look for the things in others and in situations that may need a gentle pick-up, some attention, some prayer.

“ And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Galatians 6:9 (NKJV)

Memories

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“Notice how your memories nest, one inside another — so close-fitting that you can’t peel one free without releasing others.” ~Dr. SunWolf

I love memories.I love the scrapbook of life, where you turn pages in your mind and revisit wonderful times.

Yesterday my memories on facebook showed a wedding picture from my nephew’s wedding. I easily remembered it had been ten years ago, not because nine years ago I wished them a happy first anniversary, but because of the time surrounding their wedding was a decade ago.

You see, the photo of my nephew and his bride reminded me that after their wedding, Dale and I stayed in the mid-Atlantic area waiting for the birth of our first grandchild.

One memory unfolded several more memories in an instant.

“I enjoy, occasionally, a day with my memories — these paintings hanging on the walls of my mind.” ~Robert Brault

The day after the wedding, Dale and I drove to Gettysburg, PA. We set up our tent and explored the town. The next three days we toured the battlefield. A day to explore for each day of the battle. We listened to a tour cd and stopped frequently to walk and truly see what was hidden from the road. It was a glorious three days of climbing, walking and hiking around the battlefield. It is a solemn site. It’s grounds are hallowed. The monuments are incredible. It is one of our favorite places to visit.

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” ~Cesare Pavese

From camping we visited with my sister and her family for a few days. Then we headed for another important event. We relocated to a hotel near our kids and waited. We visited daily, us, the kids and his folks. We walked, talked and kept waiting. The hotel staff kept asking us if today was the day, each evening when we returned they kept us hopeful. Until the day finally arrived and so did our grandson. The day is etched in my mind, a deep memory that will not fade. The day I graduated from Mom to Grammy.

“Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged; parents are the pride of their children.” Proverbs 17:6 (NLT)

In recognition of our Little Man turning ten, I am going to repost some lessons I have learned from him. The lessons keep going as each time with him I discover a truth that is only seen through the eyes of a child. We also have our Little Miss, who has also taught me much. There is such a difference in the way a little boy and a little girl look at the world. Their eyes shine with a wealth of understanding and discovery that we lose in growing up. I hope to share a bit of what I have learned from my precious grands.

I end with a quote from Peter Pan, one of my most favorite stories, “Go on! Go back and grow up! But I’m warning you, once you’re grown up you can never come back.” ~ Peter Pan on leaving Neverland

The same is true when we grow up, we lose site of the wonder, the magic, the glory that God has given us to relish in this life. As we age the wonder of a beetle walking over ground is lost. The urge to blow a dandelion is met with the knowledge that those seeds will produce more dandelions in our yard. The pile of leaves is hiding danger, not excitement. The first snowfall is not magical, it is the beginning of ice and cold.

Oh! To keep that child-like mind to thoroughly enjoy each day as it comes.

Anticipation

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“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
 Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.” Psalm 127:3-4 (NLT)

Both of my daughters are gifts from God. Doctors told me early in my marriage that children may not be possible for me. They forgot to tell God.

I love my daughters and know they are precious presents from my heavenly Father. They have both grown, married and are busy raising their own precious gifts.

My oldest daughter and her family are coming to visit this week, thus the title for this post.

Anticipation is a wonderful thing. It is like hearing the ice-cream truck on the next block and running to get money for when it finally appears on your street. It is like Christmas Eve when you see the tree loaded with wrapped presents underneath. It is like going to bed the night before school lets outs. Anticipation comes in many forms. It is always accompanied by those butterflies in your stomach that something good is about to happen.

Yes, I have anticipation. It will only increase until I see their vehicle pull into our driveway and a seven year old pops out. It will be fulfilled when those seven year old arms are wrapped around me and I hear “Grammy!” coming out of her mouth.

After about ten minutes of talking with my granddaughter and petting the dogs that I will turn to my daughter and her husband and welcome them to our home. Then the fun will truly begin.

Life

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This weekend is a long one. A weekend to celebrate the Fourth of July, or our Independence Day here in the states.

The days will be crowded with activities for many people here. Each family cramming enough time to celebrate with friends and family.

Since learning that I can go sling-less while at home, I once more had to come to a realization that I cannot do everything that I wish. I spent the last couple of days doing things, and planning a full weekend. I got as far as this morning and concluded that I am still not up to full speed yet. This was disappointing for me.

We had a wonderful dinner with friends last night. We sat and talked around the table and had dessert in their screened in porch and talked some more. We got home and knew we had a delightful time. Life is such a blessing when you have friends who are gifts to you.

The rest of the weekend reminded me of what life is. This afternoon is a wedding, a new beginning for a couple. The start of a lifetime of memories, joys, heartbreak, and laughter. I have been so excited for this couple and have been looking forward with them to this date. While I am thrilled for this day for them, we decided to stay home this afternoon and allow myself to regain some of the energy that seems to have departed.

Tomorrow is church and then we will be going to a funeral. A precious woman has moved to heaven. She was a high-spirited woman who enlivened any group she walked into. A gracious woman who lived her life with enthusiasm, love of our Lord and joy. We will go (Lord willing) to say our final good-bye to her after church.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 says, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.  A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.” (NLT) This weekend, to me, shows that to be true. A couple beginning life together and a family saying good-bye to a loved one. In the midst of all of this is a celebration of a holiday. Families joining together, friends gathering, and observing the anniversary of a country being born.

Life is filled with many precious moments. Some life changing and some that pass with little notice. My hope is that your weekend will be filled with moments that nourish your soul.

Guarding Relationships

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“ Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” I Peter 5:8 (NLT)

I had a conversation today that was long overdue. As we talked, this scripture came to mind.

Relationships have always been precious. Family, friends, acquaintances, church family, whoever is in your life and is a part of your life, these people are precious. They may be people who you talk with and share intimate details with, or they can be casual conversation type people, either make you who you are.

The enemy of our souls does roam around, looking to destroy and devour relationships. The love of family, the harmony of friendship, these things are in satan’s sight-line. If a family can be destroyed, he is at the ready.

I am not giving glory to him. He deserves no glory at all. But as homes are protected from wild animals, wild individuals, we need to protect and be aware of the damage that can be done in relationships. We must guard relationships.

This week I, once more, had to deal with someone from long ago. There were accusations made and things dredged up from thirty years ago. I allowed myself to become angry and let them know of my anger, but fortunately, I did not unleash my anger. I simply said, I am angry right now.

Everyone can get angry. It is what you do when you are angry that counts. Praise God, I was able to distance myself a bit. But, the the words I read and the accusations hurled in my direction affected me. I am better, but, confess there is still hurt about them. Questions have become my conversation with our Lord. Am I what I was accused of? Am I full of attitude? Am I completely wrong?

I have struggled with this old relationship for years. Every few years it resurrects and I hope that this time it will be different. So far, it is like an old 33 album with a scratch on it. It stops at a point and just repeats and repeats, not moving forward.

It is times like these that make me realize how precious our true relationships are, like the conversation I had today. The devil would like to divide, distance and destroy families and friends. We cannot allow that to happen. Relationships are a gift from God. The people He places in our lives are there to support and encourage us, not bring us down.

It is our blessed calling to love one another, just as Christ loves us. We are called to care for our family and friends. We are called to encourage and lift up our brothers and sisters in the Lord.

I am thankful for this past week, filled with a dichotomy. The remains of a one time friendship built on a weak foundation, and the true friendship, that has withstood the test of time. Guard those precious relationships in your life. We need one another for support, guidance and love.

“Jesus told this simple story, but they had no idea what he was talking about. So he tried again. “I’ll be explicit, then. I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep rustlers, every one of them. But the sheep didn’t listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for—will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.” John 10:6-10 (MSG)

What difference is 40 years?

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“Gray hair is a crown of glory;” Proverbs 16:31a (NLT)

In the spring of 1982, Dale took our oldest daughter fishing for the first time. We were all pretty excited about this trip. We woke up early, I got food together for them and off they went on their adventure.

Since I knew I had at least two hours to myself, I put on my ragged bell bottoms I wore for cleaning. I cleaned what needed to be done, and sat down at the kitchen table. Looking outside I remembered our neighbor (now our youngest daughter’s in-laws) were having a yard sale. I decided to visit with them and see how they were doing.

Leaving the house with my ragged jeans and bare feet, I started across the road. As I got to the edge of my yard, my big toe caught on a hole in the hem of my jeans and down I went, arms extended. I quickly looked around, hoping no on saw me. The neighbor’s son (now my son-in-law) came racing up the street on his purple bike with the banana seat and raised handlebars. He squealed to a stop beside me, “Geez, Cath, that looked like it hurt, are you okay?” So much for no one noticing.

The end result was my left elbow was broken. The eventual running commentary was that I could not walk and chew gum at the same time.

This event came up recently when I was bemoaning my current state. Forty years can erase a lot. I couldn’t remember the pain or discomfort, I only remembered healing quickly.

As I have mentioned before, Dale has reminded me of my age lately. I still feel like I am only in my early thirties. But, when he made me aware of forty years passing, the truth hit home. Bodies heal quicker at age 27 than they do at 67.

Age has always just been a number for me. I expect an occasional sore muscle or stiff finger. This, however, has been an outright smack to my senses. Since February of this year I have mentioned to several people that I am on the downhill side to 70, just thinking of numbers. In reality, my body with most of the original parts, is almost 70.

I do not feel old which is a good thing, I think. I wake each morning excited for a new day. I know the bulk of my life is behind me and honestly, I look forward to eternity with our Lord. What could be better?

Grey hair, which I have plenty of, is a crown of glory. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” (NLT)

This time is proving to be a time of many reminders and lessons to me. Each and every time I have been injured, ill or depressed, my God had been and continues to be beside me. He is my healer, my encourager, the lifter of my head(and sometimes my body), He is right there, always ministering. I give Him the praise and glory due Him.

The difference in 40 years? Besides the aging bit, in the past forty years I have seen my family grow. I have seen my daughters become wives and mothers. I have had the blessing of having sons added to our lives. God has taught me, led me and given me the greatest blessings.

Father’s Day part 2

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Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. ~William Feather, The Business of Life, 1949

Seeing fatherhood as a child is vastly different than seeing fatherhood as a wife and mother.

When I was pregnant with our first child, Dale and I had lofty ideas of how to parent. It was going to be a glorious adventure. We would agree on everything and our children would be compliant, gracious and would rise up and bless us each and every day. Yes, we were that naive.

Watching my husband become a father was different than I thought it would be. The joy of the early morning hours when our oldest was born was beautiful. When he came to visit us hours later the realization of fatherhood was evident on his face. I have also seen it on my sons in law. The joy and happiness is radiating but the responsibility of fatherhood is a detail in their eyes and jawline that wasn’t there previously.

As babies change worlds and families, I think it is easier for a mom. Moms naturally envelope their children. Fathers are sort of on the outside. They can only do so much as far as feeding and changing diapers and clothing them goes. A father’s hands are not made for the delicate newborn’s items. A father may be adept, but a father’s hands are hands that work. They fix things. A father does things, fumbling with tiny snaps and fasteners is foreign to them. A father is a father.

Children see their father as a figure that is solid, sometimes resolute. A wife sees the man she fell in love with struggle with decisions concerning the best way to do things. She sees that fathers unconditionally love their children. She has had conversations with her spouse, and seen how they struggle at times to be the loving, easy going nurturer instead of the one who makes decisions for the good of the child.

Fatherhood is a complicated business. Raising a child is a responsibility. A good man takes that responsibility seriously. I am blessed to have married such a man. My daughters also are blessed with good men.

“Listen to your father, who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old.” Proverbs 23:22 (NLT)

Father’s Day part 1

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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold, 1969

It occurred to me today that Fatherhood is a complicated position. Growing up, I went from adoration of my Dad, to respect, to questioning him, to dismay and back to respect and most of all love. Dads are perplexing creatures.

When I think of my Dad now, the view of have of him is totally different than what it used to be. As a child I remember walks with my Dad, going to the hardware store with him, working on projects with him in the scary part of our cellar. As an engaged young woman, I would spend most Friday nights with him listening to music and talking about many topics. I remember him patting my hand in the back of the church looking at me and asking if I was ready. His reassuring arm holding on to me before giving me away to a sailor who would take me around the world.

When I brought our oldest daughter home from Japan, he checked her three month old bottom carefully. When I asked what he was doing, he smiled and said, “Just looking for the made in Japan mark.” He was both funny and frustrating. At times our phone conversations would be long and at other times he would call, not talk much and hang up, leaving me wondering why. (Now I understand the need to just hear a child’s voice).

He raised three girls on his own and my sisters and I know we did a lot of raising of ourselves also. But, now, my sisters and I agree that he did the best he could under the circumstances. He provided a roof over our heads, food for the table, clothes and things we could enjoy, 45’s, albums, books, games.

As a child, you look at the man who is your father. You remember all the times you had with him. The times he agreed with you and made you smile, as well as the times he gave you a definite no and you yelled or sulked.

I do this with my heavenly Father also. When I have asked for things which I think are important and I get the definite no back. I yell and I sulk. Fathers make decisions that are not always pleasant. They are given a wisdom, though that goes beyond a mother’s wisdom. Fathers look at the whole picture, examine the pros and cons, and then give answers. Like our heavenly Father those answers can be yes, no, or wait.

Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. Psalm 103:13 (NASB)

A good father is committed to his family. They stay in the hard times. They do not shirk their duty. They weather the difficulties and uncomfortable times. When a man accepts this challenge and sees it through, his children are blessed. They can lift up their eyes regardless how they are currently feeling and be grateful to have them as a father.

Summer Storms

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This afternoon around three, the sky started to darken and the wind picked up. I was looking out of the window at the time, watching the leaves turn up and the tree branches doing a dance through the sky.

The past couple of days the sky has threatened rain, but it has remained hot and humid and not a drop of rain anywhere. I expected the same today. The wind blew for several minutes and then, the sound of the wind changed and you could hear the rain approaching. It is still storming outside, thunder echoing and the occasional lightening flashing.

I went out and sat on our porch for a bit as the temperature had dropped with the arrival of the rain. Sitting on a chair I looked out on our yard. The leaves were glistening with rain on them. The trees gently rustled with the wind. The smell of the air filled with the scent of the rain.

All of a sudden I was transported back in time with a random memory, something I hadn’t thought of in forever. When I was a child, my father’s brother (who lived in another city) would come into town with his family for a vacation. He would rent a cottage on the river. My sisters and I would visit for a day or two, enjoying the time spent with cousins we didn’t normally see. The screen porch I was sitting in mentally changed. I was at once sitting at the cottage, on the screened-in porch playing a game on a rainy afternoon. The game was Go To The Head of the Class, and my sisters and cousins were crowded around arguing and figuring the game out. I hadn’t thought of the game nor that time together in several decades.

I came into the house and talked with Dale about the memory and ideas floating around about a possible post. I wasn’t certain about any of it, really.

As I have started to write, I have realized something. Memories are tied to many things. Sometimes a song will have you reliving a date, an event, a ride in a car on a summer day, walking to school with your sisters. Other times you walk into a kitchen and the smells take you to a time past and make you homesick for whoever was in the kitchen you remembered.

Today, the wind, the gentle rain, the smell of the wet ground and trees all provided a memory for me. The memory was a sweet one. I can remember my older sister knowing answers and giving them quickly. I remember being so proud that I had a smart older sister. The memory was comfort and a bit bittersweet knowing some of those family members are no longer with us.

Hebrews 13:8, “ Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”(NLT) The One who gives us memories to cherish today is the same One who gave us memories yesterday. I once learned that memories are like a scrapbook. You can open that scrapbook as often as you want. You can look and reminiscence, returning to scents, and people and places. But, memories are for us to remember the past, not to dwell there or live there. Memories are a gentle kiss and brush along your cheek to treasure where you have been. Then, you close the book until you add more to the scrapbook in your mind.