Category: Faith

Ode to Mom

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He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths, Psalm 23:3a  (NLT)

I was eleven when my Mom died. For Mother’s Day, I decided to rework a post about her from my original blog.

As the years go on memories of my Mom ebb and flow.  Sometimes there is a clarity to the memories like looking through a window pane. Time seems to be non-existent, like she could be sitting right beside me.  Other times the memories are like an old faded letter.  The edges are worn and the ink is fading.  Time has begun to erase the sharp edges and the clarity of what you are grasping for.

In reality, how many of us truly remember everything from when we were eleven and before?  That is an age of being a child.  A place where things like cancer and death should not exist.  A place where there should not be a bed set up in what was a playroom before. There should not be memories of a table filled with prescription bottles and get well cards.  A child should not know what a bed pan is or how to empty it.  But, this child, along with her sisters knew that.  It was our reality. It was what part of our childhood consisted of for six months.

I have often wondered what lessons I had gleaned from my Mom.  She taught us the basics, how to eat, wash, take care of ourselves, iron, do some laundry.  We learned by mistakes how to cook, clean, iron things other than handkerchiefs, how to get groceries, how to be strong, independent women.  We learned to take things in stride.  We had learned the hard lessons already,  people get sick and people die and you learn to stand up, dust yourself off and move in a forward direction.

I spent many years in differing situations wondering what my Mom would do, what she would think, what she would say.  I still do that occasionally.  The truth is, I don’t know.  For the woman who I knew and love was young.  I was young.  The truths she would have imparted to me would be the truths you tell a child.  Truths that are not totally complete, for as a child how can you grasp a full concept of things?

The one thing I remember is her telling me that Psalm 23 was her favorite Bible verse.  Of course, it may have been for that moment it was her favorite, but, I hold that psalm close to me as being her favorite.  I chose this verse today because of her.  Also, this verse reminds me of Whose guiding hand has been ever-present in my life.  He has guided me when I didn’t have a Mom to verbally tell me not to do things.  Did I always listen?  No, just like I would not have listened to my Mom.

The point is, though, that we are given one mother.  She brings us in to the world.  She nourishes us, holds us, loves us and teaches us as much as she can.  As a mother myself, I know mothers are not perfect creatures.  We tire.  We get discouraged. We sometimes focus on the wrong things.  We don’t always listen with an open mind.  We don’t always agree with what is going on.  But, underneath all of it, at the very core of our hearts, that bond between mother and child is permanently knit into our being.  It is a cord that cannot be severed.  It is our lifeblood.  It is our heartbeat.  It is that voice deep within us that echoes throughout us.

That cord was broken so many years ago, but the song of love still exists for me.  You are still missed.

Heartbreak

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We all experience heartbreak. No one is exempt from it.

It could be that I have watched too many period series with my daughter this past week that has caused me to think about heartbreak.  It is rumbling in my thoughts, so I am going to consider the topic today.

Heartbreak comes in many ways. No one who is alive remains unscathed by this dilemma. Once it happens, it consumes us. No one can heal someone with a broken heart. Only time will begin to diminish it’s hold on us. Days will eventually begin to brighten. Memory starts to function again. I went through a long season of heartbreak. I could not remember the date, the year, the season. All was a blur to me. I felt devastated, alone and empty. It will rip through your mind, your health and your emotions.

In time, life was restored to me. I began to see the beauty of a day. I began to smile and eventually laughter reappeared. 

Through it all, the Lord was close to me. I know He was although I didn’t spend much time with Him. 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed” Psalm 34:18 (NLT)

May your hearts today begin a healing if you are in a season of  heartbreak. May your days begin to brighten. May our Lord walk with you and hold you up.

Be like Rain

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This weekend we were able to spend time with our granddaughter and her family. They recently adopted a chocolate lab puppy, Rain. She is full of life and soft and silky as only labs can be.

Rain meets you with full force. She bounds into a room expectantly. She knows that she is the cutest thing in the room and she is ready to receive any and all attention. Our other two ‘grand-pups’ are older. They actually shudder when Rain comes in. Their mouths curl up on the sides and low growls emit from them. The two who are usually the sweetest natured pups become old curmudgeons. The youthful pup versus the old, staid, steady pups. It was a sight to behold.

This is Rain after romping up and down the beach and swimming. She is peaceful, quiet and sleeping soundly. Quieted and comfortable on the dock.

Watching her reminded me of the actions of a newly born again Christian. The spiritual rebirth arouses an action of energy. People are excited and ready to share their enthusiasm with others to the point that people snarl at you. They are used to the way they do things. They have a plan. They do things their way. They are not always up for hearing and seeing new things.

I think we need to be like Rain. Playful, ready to romp and share the good Word of Life. Ready to raise a paw and pop someone on the snout, asking for attention to be brought to the Good News.

This playful, happy puppy reminded me to return to my first love and be energetic about it.

Revelation 2:2-5 says, “I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don’t tolerate evil people. You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. You have patiently suffered for me without quitting. But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches.”

Are You Listening?

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“Moreover He said to me: “Son of man, receive into your heart all My words that I speak to you, and hear with your ears.” Ezekiel 3:10 (NKJV)

I felt the Lord’s direction in starting this blog. I still believe it is what He wants me to do. I have been asked how I think of things to write about. I can honestly say, the Lord puts into my mind what to start and He fills in the blanks. Oftentimes I have to reread a post to remember what I wrote about. I don’t know how this works, but it does.

Yesterday as I was preparing to write, the scripture above came into my mind. I kept hearing Ezekiel 3:10. Most of the time when I have a scripture reference stuck in my mind it ends up being a random sentence and I am puzzled why I dwelt on that verse. I finally went to my Bible and looked up the scripture. I was amazed when it made perfect sense to me.

We often talk about wanting to hear from God. When we have a decision that needs to be made, it is often said, “I just wish I could hear from God.”

He speaks to us often. We need to clean out our ears and listen. Too often, in my case, what I hear is not what I want to hear. Like the child being told to clean up their room or get ready for bed, I rebel and like the child I refuse.

I endeavor to hear and listen. There is a difference, I think. Sometimes we hear, but we are not listening to what is truly being said. In writing, I attempt to not only hear, but listen. When I do successfully do this, I hear with my ears and the words go to my heart.

We want to be heard. To make a difference in the lives of others. We enjoy conversations when we have attentive exchanges. Similarly God wants the same respect, to be heard and listened to. To have an attentive conversation with us where we place deep in our hearts all that He has said.

Reflection

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Reflections are wonderful to look at. Seeing inverted trees from a shoreline reflecting in the water, hillsides going down in the waterline mirroring the shore. We stand mesmerized, watching the beauty of nature.

“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror,” I Corinthians 13:12a (NLT)

Each day as we look in the mirror we see a reflection of ourselves. Sometimes we may see beauty, but often we just see flaws. We study our outward man in the reflection.

People in our lives see the outward man, but those around us also see the reflection of our inner man. What do we reflect? How is our reflection affecting those in our lives?

The rest of I Corinthians 13:12 talks about how we see imperfectly, but then when we are with the Lord we will see in totality. How we now know in part, and ends like this, “but then I shall know just as I also am known”

What is our reflection saying to others? How are we known to those in our lives?

She Knew Your Voice

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Today I was looking at some pictures of a newborn granddaughter taken almost eight years ago. It was a series of three photos, one with her Dad, one by herself and one with my daughter. In the first she looked comfortable held in her Father’s hands, but in the one with her Mom, she had a sweet little newborn smile on her face. I looked at my daughter and remarked on the smile, I said, She knew your voice.

An infant hears their mother’s voice while they develop. It’s part of the process. A child will grow in the womb, wrapped in a comfort and quiet and they grow. While growing, they hear the music of a mother’s voice. The tonal inflection, the joy, the quiet, the nervousness. They hear it all. It is deeply ingrained into a child’s being.

In a similar fashion, the Holy Spirit woos one to a relationship with our heavenly Father. He directs us, points us and leads us while we are growing to a point of a total dependence on Christ. Once we receive our Lord and commit our lives to Him, we know His voice. It is a part of us. We are created to respond to His voice.

“Can a mother forget the infant at her breast, walk away from the baby she bore? But even if mothers forget,  I’d never forget you—never.” Isaiah 49:15 (MSG)

No Weapon

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“No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the Lord.” Isaiah 54:17 (NKJV)

Weapons come in many ways. When thinking of weapons, we usually go to firearms or the military. Our minds turn to hostile situations that fill the evening news, wars, revolts, or hostage and school shootings. These are all legitimate thoughts.

Many of us will never be in those situations.

Weapons formed against us can be a harsh word or tone, a situation where you feel boxed in and cannot escape, the panic you feel in a given experience. Weapons can be our mind-set, how we think we are and how we tear ourselves apart.

There was a season in my life where I felt besieged. In my desolation and loneliness I found no comfort. Dale was deployed on an isolated tour, which means he was overseas in a place where we, his family, could not go. I had my daughters, but I needed to be the strong one, the adult. I tried my best to be strong, to do my part, but inside I was crumbling. Falling apart like an old stone wall hit just the right way.

I went to church, but hid in the back rows, hoping no one would talk with me. I tried to pray but felt like my prayers went nowhere. I read the Word but the words seemed empty. It was a winter season for me. I was dormant and lifeless.

The Lord broke through this darkness with these verses that brought life back into me. It did not happen at once, but, it did give me the strength to move. “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7 (NKJV) and “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

I remember in gaining victory over this season, I would walk through my house in almost a marching fashion. With each step I would declare, NO. Weapon. Formed. Against. ME. will. prosper. A declaration that my God did not forsake me. He was with me then and will be with me forever.

Shield of Faith

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“Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:13-17 (NLT)

I love the 6th chapter of Ephesians, especially about the whole armor of God. For years I have dressed myself in this armor before getting out of bed. I know without that armor on me the day will be a long one.

For the most part I remember how I dressed in the morning. I feel confident in the Lord. I confess though, I recently feel like my feet are covered, my body is covered, but my sword is dragging behind me marking lines in the ground behind me. In my other hand the shield is flopping in rhythm as I trod along my day.

With each step the armor clanks against the ground and my shoes, almost tripping me. My head hangs down, not in total defeat, but lacking the energy to look ahead.

We all get this way from time to time. We get weary. The strength in our arms is depleted. The sword seems much too large to hold on. We look like a child playing dress up in an adult’s armor. Everything sags, droops and drops.

“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.” Psalm 43:5 (NKJV)

David felt like that. He probably remembered being dressed in armor to slay Goliath. He removed all the armor, tossed the sword aside and took smooth rocks and his sling. He conquered the giant. Yet, in his life, he was discouraged and distressed. He spoke to his soul, and turned his eyes heavenward.

Years ago I was encouraged by a fellow blogger. He encouraged me to say aloud, “The joy of the Lord is my strength, I have the joy of the Lord.” When we remind ourselves of Whose we are, our head begins to lift. We start to remember that the sword and the shield is custom made for us. It becomes easier to carry that Word in our hearts and our faith is renewed.

“But you, O Lord, are a shield around me;
    you are my glory, the one who holds my head high.” Psalm 3:3 (NLT)

Needing a Hug

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Lately I have needed a hug. Dale holds me and I am comforted in his arms. He is my security and safety here on earth. His arms enfold me and I know that he is my gift from God.

My friends hug me. I am always grateful to have hugs from them. They bring joy to my heart. I smile or laugh in the hugs. Those hugs are sweet short prayers in motion. My friends are also my precious gifts from God.

But, I long for a hug. My heart yearns for an embrace. My soul cries out for a hug.

Last night I talked with a friend who is going to Israel next week. Her husband moved to Heaven almost a year ago. I said how exciting it will be to walk on the ground that Jesus walked on. I then mentioned that her husband is actually walking with Jesus. Nothing tops that.

Since the conversation my mind keeps circling back to what my heart has been dwelling on. I need a hug. I long for a hug. The hug I want is one from Jesus. My desire is to run to Him and throw my arms out and be embraced by Him. To feel His breath on me. To hear His heart beat. To hear Him say my name. To experience the total warmth, the refuge curled up against Him. To know I am finally where I belong, safe in His arms, never to leave His presence.

I know He is not ready for me to be there yet. So, I will relish the quiet times of the day when I hear His voice and feel Him near. I will rejoice during the worship at church, and bathe in the quiet adoration that comes.

“I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” Isaiah 46:4 (NLT)

I am in need of a hug, but I will wait.

Stop Signs, Roadblocks and Detours

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When we first moved to San Diego we obviously had to find a place to live. We stayed with friends during that time and they watched our oldest while we ventured out into our new city full of expectation and excitement. We had our map of San Diego and surrounding areas, as it was well before the days of GPS.

We had lists provided by the base housing office of places that would rent to military personnel. We were set. We got to the right area of the city, the right street and BAM! The street ended and a canyon was where the street should have been. In the distance you could see the beginning of the rest of the street. This could have been a one-off, but no we managed to have potential homes on each street that butted up against a canyon.

Needless to say our frustration levels were high, until it began to be funny. A street filled with houses and you went down them and then there would be a barrier with a reflecting sign on it. We found it funny why the barrier was there when the pavement ended and in front of you was grassy areas and huge trees blocking your way. Didn’t take a rocket scientist to know you couldn’t go any further.

We finally did find a house to rent, and yes, it actually was on a canyon. We learned that San Diego had canyons throughout the city, some pretty beautiful and some that were questionable.

Roadblocks show up in the most inconvenient places. Upon seeing them, we usually hear a deep sigh or a groan. No one likes to see roadblocks.

The same goes with stop signs. We notice how many are around when we are in a hurry to get somewhere. I was guilty of this when it was a season for me being ‘taxi mom’. By Friday evening I would be screaming at any stop sign or traffic light, unless of course, it was green.

Detours are similar to roadblocks, they appear right when you want to head in the direction they are blocking. Occasionally detours provide you with beauty you never would have experienced. Roads not traveled or thought of.

Many times we hear Jeremiah 29:11 quoted. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (NLT) It’s a familiar scripture that gets repeated and repeated. Most of us can repeat it without much thought. Yes, God has a plan for us. Yes, it will give us a future and a hope. We say it like we slap a band-aid on a wound, like it is a cure all.

Sometimes we fail to realize that the plan, that future and that hope come after we hit roadblock after roadblock. That pathway is riddled with stop signs and red lights. That hope is after several detours.

Anyone who has taken a long road trip knows that the destination sometimes takes longer to arrive to. Things are in the way.

If life could be like those mazes on children’s menus, it would be great. You start at the beginning and trace your way to the end. If you can’t figure it out right away you turn the menu around and start from the end and go backwards. Somehow turning the page around allows you to see the path with no lines blocking your crayon.

Life is not so simple. We can’t go to the end and figure it all out. Until then, we follow the signs, trying not to zig when we need to zag. We were given a map more detailed than GPS. Psalm 119:105, “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” (NLT)