Category: Faith

Remembering

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This morning as I sat listening to my favorite channel on Pandora, I was taken back to my living room in Nagai. It was a small room, but cozy. Our living room was painted like every living room in the housing area. No color, just a bland form of white-gray or gray-white. Hard to tell, really. I had two large windows in the room and a small window that held the air conditioner which only blew the cold air to the opposite wall where there was a built in bookcase. The back window looked out to our back yard and the dog house . Beyond the yard were rice paddies and fields of crops. The front window was my view of Mt. Fuji.

My schedule while living in Nagai was busy. I worked for the Army Veterinarian (part of the Calvary) on Monday-Wednesday and Friday. In the evenings on Wednesday I taught my private student English and then afterwards would go to the school where I taught two classes, Thursday evening I taught three classes, and Friday was again two. Once a month on Saturday I traveled to another school where I taught three classes English. I was always on the move with trains, buses and on foot. I loved it.

Thursday during the day was for me. I would catch up on laundry and cleaning and then I would sit in my living room. Our furniture at the time was borrowed from the Navy, except our stereo stand and the stereo. On Thursday I would sit in the chair, Bible in hand and that was my time to be with the Lord. I would read, pray and listen to music. I paid attention to the words. I allowed them to go deep in me. I was learning to worship my God.

At the time songs were scripture put to words. The words took root in my heart, planted by the artists performing the music and watered by the Lord listening to my prayers.

They were sweet times for me. I love having alone time. Time where I can be quiet and devote my full attention to God. At that time we had no children so alone time was truly alone. As the years went on alone time was next to impossible. Motherhood filled my mind with activities and chores and demands that took most of the stamina I had. Alone time had to be scheduled in and sometimes took a back seat.

Now, I find in retirement that I still have to purpose in my heart to have some alone time. Dale and I have worked to get to this point in life. After adjustment we have grown into a rhythm of being together. We enjoy our time now. When one of us have time away we miss one another.

So today, as he is gone from the house I returned to a day like my Thursdays in Nagai. I read my Bible, I have had a prayer time and in the background is music that I listened to so many years ago. What prompted me in these thoughts was hearing the song from Psalm 5. Like all music can take you to places and smells and memories, I was transported to my living room in 1978.

“Give ear to my words, O Lord, Consider my meditation.  Give heed to the voice of my cry, My King and my God, For to You I will pray.  My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; In the morning I will direct it to You,
And I will look up.” Psalm 5:1-3 (NKJV)

Psalm 118:13

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I was right on the cliff-edge, ready to fall, when God grabbed and held me. Psalms 118:13 (MSG)

This verse appears right under the name of my blog. I chose it as it has applied to my life many times and in plenty circumstances.

I have wanted to write about the incidents where I was grabbed and held by the Lord. There are specific times and I remember each clearly. These are the times when you know that you know you are being held by the One who formed you. You can feel His arms wrapped tightly around you and tears flow without hesitation.

I falter when it comes to writing specifically about these situations since they are deeply ingrained in me. I do not want to sound like I am longing for sympathy or recognition but I do desire to be open and honest in my writing. My motive is to allow people to see in my words what I have experienced and how present our Lord has been in each situation.

Psalm 118:14-16 says ” God’s my strength, he’s also my song, and now he’s my salvation. Hear the shouts, hear the triumph songs in the camp of the saved? “The hand of God has turned the tide! The hand of God is raised in victory! The hand of God has turned the tide!” (MSG)

Every event in my life God has been there. He was there growing up, He was beside me as I mourned my Mother, and then years later, my Father. He has been there in sickness, struggle and good days. I will attempt in my future posts to start to talk about how much the Lord has turned the tide in my life. Today, look, remember and realize how the Lord has been victorious in your life.

Vine and Branches

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“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches.” John 15:5a (NLT)

Today Dale and I finished cutting down the row of trees that separated our driveway from the back yard. The trees were fascinating to us when we moved into this home. They produced lovely flowers that attracted bees and were full of pollen.

At first, we did not know what the trees were, and shortly after moving in we found out that they were Rose of Sharon. That made us happy, as we feel the Lord directed us to this home and has blessed us with this home. One of the names of our Lord is Rose of Sharon.

Our love for the Rose of Sharon has greatly diminished over the years. It is an example of how the Lord should be in our lives, our Lord being an integral part of our lives whatever we are doing. The tree however makes certain it is an integral part of our yard. If there is a square inch of space the tree will grow there. No matter where we look on our property, Rose of Sharon are there.

This grouping though had honeysuckle vines throughout, which gave it a heavenly scent and we loved that. It filled the air with sweetness.

The past couple of days Dale has been cutting the trees and branches down and I have been hauling them to our wood pile. This has been interesting to me.

John 15:5 is one of Dale’s favorite scriptures. He will quote it often and I love hearing him talk about it. The image I get when I think of this verse is of a grapevine. Jesus is the main stock of the vine and we are the branches that go out from the center. I have never had another image of it, until today.

As I have mentioned we have been cutting and the honeysuckle is in the midst of the trees. We noticed yesterday that although the branches and the trunk were cut down we could not pull them free of the honeysuckle. This morning it was more of the same. Dale had to cut the vine loose before the branches could be moved.

I thought about the vines as I dragged the limbs up the driveway to the wood debris pile. I leaned down to pick up one more branch and noticed that the vine was like a rope, three cords wound together on the branch. As I picked up the branch I heard, “I am the Vine”.

The picture I next thought of was what I had seen happen. Dale would cut the branch, but it would be held up by the vine. What I interpreted from this is, when we have been grafted into the Vine, our Lord holds us tight. He wraps us up in Him. When satan tries to cut us away, cause us to shift our focus, we may be distanced from our roots, but our Savior is holding us tight. Keeping us wrapped in Him. The Vine giving us stability.

The rest of the above verse is followed by more illustrations. John 15:5-8 in the Message says, ““I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.”

After my morning lesson, I have continued to think about what I heard, saw and experienced. I hope that, like those branches now on the woodpile, I will cling to the Vine, having my Savior wrapped around me, helping keep me in His perfect will. I will lean into the Vine and make my abode with Him.

Falling

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This morning we had some tree work done in our yard. We had a large limb that stretched over our roof. We also had a long limb that stretched across the driveway and could possibly hit our car if it fell.

For years we have talked about cutting these branches. Each time Dale would talk about doing it, I would cringe and try to change the subject. The limbs were high, twisted and dangerous. Ladders and Dale are not compatible. We know this from experience.

So, this morning a tree company came and took down the offending branches. It was interesting seeing them work. I took some before and during and after pictures. I have posted them on my facebook page.

Dale wondered if I had a story in this morning’s activity. I really didn’t. I just wanted documentation of the change.

As they were working on the branch above the roof I would glance out to see a part of the big branch come floating down from above. The limb had several branches coming off of it.

I tried to take a picture of the branches floating down, landing in a quiet thud, but I couldn’t capture them. As the perimeter of the branch was cut away, pieces of the branch would hit the ground with a solid thud.

As I gazed out the window at the activity while trying to capture a falling branch, I felt the Lord say to me, “See how quickly they fall? ” I knew He wasn’t talking just about a tree.

The phrase falling from grace came to me. Most of the definitions of this is to lose favor in one’s sight.

The thought of sin also came to mind. How quickly we can allow sin to be in our lives. We may think our sin is like those leafy branches that quickly floated through the air and landing with a gentle thud on the grass. The reality of all sin, though, is it falls quickly upon us and I think the solid thud I talked about before is what it’s like. That solid thud that we feel under our feet. That solid thud that makes our Lord sigh.

It’s not that we are turned away from God, but we have allowed a distance to come between our Creator and ourselves. God does not move from us, but we can swiftly and solidly create a gulf between us.

This wasn’t exactly the thought I initially looked for in today’s activities, but it is one that hit my heart.

Hebrews 3:15 says, “Remember what it says: “Today when you hear his voice,
don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled.” (NLT)

I try to be cognizant of sin in my life. There is a huge part of me that always wants to please. When I falter or fail the Lord or others I am genuinely dismayed. I replay scenarios and examine what I did and how. I then will fall on my face in prayer asking for forgiveness. I needed to see the difference in the falling branches today, it was a lesson that has stirred my heart.

Ode to Housework

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“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”
― Erma Bombeck

I have a schedule that I try to keep. Monday, laundry and towels, Tuesday bedding, blankets and ironing from Monday, Wednesday, groan that the laundry basket is beginning to fill, Thursday debate at doing more laundry, Friday try to remember that it could be a date night, Saturday make certain there are clean clothes for church, Sunday I take off, after all it is the Lord’s day. I also eat what I want on that day, blessed are the calories.

In between all of those laundry days I clean bathrooms, look at the kitchen floor (who in their right mind ever put white linoleum in a kitchen?) , vacuum, and look some more at the kitchen floor.

I try to keep a clean house, but I am one of those that does the company shuffle. You know, when company comes you pick everything off the kitchen table and countertops and hide it. That way people think you have an immaculate house.

I confess I do love to wash windows and clean bathrooms. You see instant results and that is rewarding. Today, as I was cleaning the bathroom I found myself full of questions. Questions like, why? Why am I so thrilled with a sparkling mirror when I know it will soon be splattered with toothpaste? Why remove soap scum when it’s just going to reappear? Why clean the toilet when you know what will happen.

The kitchen floor is the bane of my existence. If you look hard at it after cleaning it, you will actually see dirt appear immediately. I groan at the thought of scrubbing it when I know it will be dirty by time I put my wash pan away.

These are the thoughts of this housewife. I have had them for almost 50 years, more if you count the time as kids when we had to clean the house.

I am not complaining, really I am not. For in the mundane tasks the Lord is there speaking to me. I have learned lessons while cleaning the toilet bowl. He is in the details.

How often when I goof up, when I sin, when I veer off a path, does the Lord say to me, why? He doesn’t, I just threw that in. He doesn’t because of Calvary. I believe He does shake His head like I shake mine in redoing the cleaning. But, when I turn to Him and ask forgiveness, He sees that sparkling reflection.

Yes, I try to learn lessons in everything. God created the minutest details on this earth. The ants, the little piece of dirt that gets between your toes while wearing sandals, the thorns in roses, the gnats, the black flies. The things that can irritate. But He also created the lightening bugs, the rainbows, the sunsets and the soft spring grass. I believe God is in the mundane, the boring and the glorious.

I am grateful to be able to complete the boring jobs. I am glad I have things to clean and take care of. God is in all the details of our life. “Everything was created through him; nothing—not one thing!— came into being without him.” John 1:3 (MSG)

As I finish this post, I will once more go back to the mundane. The clothes are laying on the couch and the ironing board is up and it is calling to me. I know as I iron I will once more think how God has removed my wrinkles and in Him, I am fresh and clean.

Confidence

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“Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the Lord our God.” Psalm 20:7 (NKJV)

Safety and security are two of the basic needs in life. When you feel safe and secure you rest easy.

Growing up our doors were only locked at night, I think. As a child I didn’t pay attention to that. I know my Dad would get a glass of water before heading to bed and he would blow his nose as only Dads can. You know that loud almost sounding like a horn honking . I do remember that.

After the death of my Mom, my sisters and I grew up quickly. Yes, we were still kids, but we had a side of us that took on more responsibility. A couple years after our Mom passing, our Dad had a job as a specialty salesman for U.S. steel (the Oilwell supply in Oil City, PA). This job required him to travel overnight, sometimes being gone for more than one night. He talked with us and we knew we were responsible for getting up on time for school and getting to bed on time.

Before leaving on his first trip, he bought a dead bolt lock to put on our door. I remember watching as he put the lock in place. It was a heavy lock, probably more secure than the door. We lived in a very quiet, small neighborhood, and everyone was aware of our situation. It was safe, but my Dad wanted the security of the dead bolt.

Through the years we have lived in areas that weren’t the best. Japan was very safe in all three houses we lived in. San Diego was not the case. But, the Lord safeguarded us. There were nights when Dale was deployed that safety and security alluded me. I felt alone and uneasy.

Through this all, our Lord has remained faithful. He has been the guard at the door, He has been the presence on our property.

When we look at the world, listen to the news, watch events unraveling around us it is hard to retain peace within.

The scripture above, some trust in chariots, and some in horses, to me that is depending on the world to keep us safe. The world can only do so much. The ending of the above scripture is what I attempt to remember, I will remember the name of the Lord my God. My God is my security. He knows my fears, my doubts, my concerns, my worries. He speaks to me in a still voice, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27 (NKJV)

Popcorn Kernel Lesson

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“So the Lord said, “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. ” Luke 17:6 (NKJV)

Friday evening Dale treated me to a date dinner. We had heard about a Japanese restaurant in the area that we hadn’t heard of before. We love Japanese food and having lived there for three years, we can be critical of taste and presentation. It is hard to find good Japanese food, and this was the case on Friday. The presentation was hopeful, but the taste just wasn’t authentic to us.

We came home after dinner to binge a show we have been watching. Before settling in I suggested popcorn. We ate our portions and watched a couple of episodes and retired for the night.

This morning I awoke to realize that I had a popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth. My flossing and brushing last night merely pushed it deeper between my gum and tooth. It was excruciating, as stuck popcorn kernels tend to be.

I tried flossing and brushing a couple more times to no avail. I knew that kernel must be at least eight inches in diameter. Finally, the brushing helped dislodge the culprit. I saw it on my toothbrush and removed it. It wasn’t even a milometer. I commented to Dale that something that little could cause so much discomfort.

Immediately, I thought of the scripture about the mustard seed, the one above and Matthew 17:20, “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” (NLT)

As I thought about the scripture I felt like the Lord said to me, faith as a mustard seed can move mountains, and sin as small as this can cause me pain.

I have kept thinking about this today. Instruction on sin early on a Saturday morning which has left me in awe of a lesson from popcorn.

Journey

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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Chinese Proverb

This morning while walking, a plane flew overhead. While we lived in San Diego, that would happen every couple of minutes as we lived in the flight path for the airport. Here, in upstate South Carolina, a plane passing overhead is not a common sight for us.

As I looked at the small plane, obviously a private jet, I wondered where it was headed. I often think of that when I see a plane. The point being, it has been a long time since we have taken a journey, a real vacation. A journey that ends at a destination. The kind of destination where you plan.

A place where you look forward to being there. You have just the right outfits for day and evening wear. Those outfits being planned down to shoes and jewelry all coordinating. A trip where you research where you are going, seeing all the sights and monuments and museums that have been on a list as a must see. This place is where you make dinner reservations in advance and you scour the menus to allow your mind and taste buds to prepare for a meal.

I haven’t been on a vacation like this for years. A part of me would love to go somewhere exotic and fun. Actually Dale and I had a conversation about this recently. I am of the mindset that we most likely will not go on such an adventure again with all the restrictions now in place.

But, I know that I do have one adventure to take hold of. It is one that I look forward to.

Yesterday we went to a funeral. A brother and uncle of some dear friends passed away last weekend. As the young minister spoke, he reminded us that this man was no longer encumbered with pain, illness and inabilities. No, he had finished his life here and was now free of the burdens of this life.

He talked about having the finger of God placed upon each of us when it is our time to go. This spoke to me. There will come a day when the finger of God will touch each of us. At that moment our life here is finished.

Almost a year ago, a dear friend passed away. He was our pastor and dear friend. He taught us so very much in his lifetime, I have notebooks filled with his insights and messages. I never expected his death to teach me as well. Watching this man struggle to let go of the bonds of earth was difficult to say the least, but, he was filled with anticipation for his journey.

It wasn’t a journey of a thousand miles that he had to plan and pack for. He had prepared his whole life for this final journey. No new clothes were needed, no reservations needed, he had his journey paid for at the cross of Calvary. He had the finger of God touch him, closing his eyes here and opening them to see his Creator.

Yes, I would love to see many things this earth holds. Pyramids, great water falls, ruins from ancient times, having high tea in London, seeing Scotland where my grandfather was born and Ireland where my family lived. Yes, there are many things that I would love to do. Distilled down, though, the most important journey I will take will be my last one. The one where I will one day close my eyes here to open them and run into the arms of my Savior. I wait. I enjoy my life. The greatest thing on my bucket list though is to be held in the arms of Jesus and hear His heart beating for me.

“But let me tell you something wonderful, a mystery I’ll probably never fully understand. We’re not all going to die—but we are all going to be changed. You hear a blast to end all blasts from a trumpet, and in the time that you look up and blink your eyes—it’s over. On signal from that trumpet from heaven, the dead will be up and out of their graves, beyond the reach of death, never to die again. At the same moment and in the same way, we’ll all be changed” I Corinthians 15:51-52 (MSG)

Provision

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“What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31 (NLT)

There is a part of me that has always worried about finances or lack thereof. I am much better now, but I confess in the shadowy recesses of my brain is a darkness lurking and maliciously whispering to me, but, what if…

It is these thoughts that come to parade through my brain in the middle of the night. It is fear. Fear comes in many shapes and ways in people’s lives. Each of us have a fear.

I have battled fear my whole life. It has been an unwelcome companion. I recognize him now. He has been evicted, but like an unwelcome visitor he will try to sneak in. Sometimes he tries to barge in.

It was suggested once to quote scripture against attacks like this. At first that was difficult, but now it has become a way of life.

Fear? “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

Needs? “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 (NLT)

Loneliness, Abandonment? “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20b (NLT)

In 1994 Dale was medically retired from the Navy. We had two weeks to prepare for this new stage of our life. We were not set for this. It was a shock to us. We had been comfortable in what we were doing. We had wanted to stay in the Navy for thirty years. We had made our plans. God had other plans. I wrote in my journal asking for provision. I wrote the following, ” But, most of all, let our focus remain on You, what You want to accomplish and work out in us. For if we get ahead of You or insist on our way, or will, then we will have missed everything. For to move, to live outside Your perfect will is to be without a true life. I only want Your will to be done, and Your peace to reside in our hearts and home.” I continued writing, but you get the gist of what was in my heart.

That season was the beginning of a lesson on trust. Did I learn it right away? I would love to say yes, but, as I have written before, I want to be open and honest. Trust grows through many circumstances, some can be good, but, in my case, trust is like playing hide and seek in the fog at night while in a forest. I learned it in fits and starts.

Through the past twenty eight years I have learned that our God provides. He provides security when illness strikes. He provides comfort when dear ones move on to heaven. He provides food when the pantry is empty. He provides friends when you feel desolate and alone. He provides family when you need a conversation with sisters. He provides. Always. Every time.

I need not fear, worry, or become distraught, for He is there. Yes, I do often have to remind myself of this. Each reminder, though, strengthens my faith to believe that He does provide.

You Want Me to Do What?

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“Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14b (NKJV)

When I taught English in Japan, I wondered how different the Japanese students would be from American students. I knew how I was in class, but I thought the Japanese students would be more serious, taking everything soberly. What I discovered was kids are kids no matter where you are. I spent many a night in the classroom laughing at the antics of my young pupils. They whispered and passed notes and giggled just like I did so long ago.

It was then that I realized that people are pretty much the same everywhere. So, once I had that revelation, I began to read my Bible differently. What we read in scripture reflects the lives of real people. I love studying the women in the Bible. I also believe they were women like I am. A woman with doubts, tears, and fears.

Esther has traveled with me and been the subject of my thoughts since 2019. I am currently re-reading the book of Esther. I find her fascinating.

She was raised by her uncle. She was devoted to him and was obedient to his wishes. She was placed in court, pampered, given beauty treatments and ultimately selected to become queen. That, in itself is a girl’s dream come true. You leave your life and become a queen. How many of us girls dreamed such a dream in our youth?

But, I wonder if she didn’t question in her heart the decision to go to court in the first place. She most likely thought, “You want me to do what?” At least that is what I would have reasoned.

Esther was a Jew. It turns out that one of the king’s advisors wanted to destroy the Jewish race. Her uncle wanted Esther to intercede. She came up with excuses, how she couldn’t just go into the court and talk with the king, or how the king hadn’t called for her in a month. Don’t we all make excuses when we are asked to do something out of the ordinary? Excuses can flow rapidly when we don’t want to do something.

Her uncle answered back, “And Mordecai told them to answer Esther: “Do not think in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews.  For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:13-14 (NKJV)

A dose of reality hit her with these words. How many of us when hit like that are stunned? Hearing that maybe we are here for such a time as this is hard. I tend to think that the Lord has someone much more capable than me. I like sitting in my little corner living life as usual.

Today, while walking, the Lord spoke to me about this verse. I felt like I was supposed to write, but the first thing to pop in my mind was, You want me to do what? Then it was followed by, what if I disappoint You?

Obedience is never a disappointment to our Lord. After the excuses, Esther asked her uncle to gather together people to fast and pray for her for three days. After the excuses, the fear, the panic, she centered herself once more and accepted what was asked of her. The king accepted her presence in court, saved her people from destruction, honored her uncle and loved Esther.

Hard decisions may come to each of us. We can have the excuses. We can have our fears. We can (and usually do) panic. I will always yell, You want me to do What? But, with each task, the provision will also be there. It may not be easy. But, then again, it may.

We are on this earth at this time. We each have a purpose, a destiny, an assignment. For such a time as this.

In the book Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis Aslan tells Lucy, “You doubt your value. Don’t run from who you are.” I often have to remind myself to not doubt my value, to be myself. As I mentioned earlier, Esther was like women are today. She had the same emotions. She most likely, when asked to help she doubted her value. Today, we learn from her. Her representation of respect, obedience, submission, and example is what we can strive for, (and yes, that was an acronym for Rose).

“That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.” 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NLT) For such a time as this, age, gender, amount of faith does not disqualify us from having an adventure with our Lord.