New Discoveries

“For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength”. Philippians 4: 13 (NLT)

I had thought that I would wait until next week to write again. But, I believe the Lord had a different idea for me. So, I will attempt to write a post right now.

Although it is only been 3 days since I fell I have come to to realize many things that I have taken for granted. First of all a friend yesterday, suggested that since my dominant hand is not of any use at the moment, that I color in a child’s coloring book. I colored my first picture left-handed last night and came to two discoveries about this. First, I need to buy new crayons for my grandchildren. The ones that are in the little crayon box are worthless. Secondly, I learned that when you were coloring with a less dominant hand the habit of your tongue sticking out to help you color comes into effect again. I felt like a first grader or kindergartener trying to color in the pictures with my tongue out to the side for balance.

Now that I have gotten major discoveries out of the way I want to share with you what I have felt the Lord speaking to me during the past few days. One of the things that I realized almost immediately after the shock of the fall(which was a great fall by the way) was that I did not think of myself beside the initial ‘ouch! that hurts’. I found that I felt the presence of the Lord in a mighty way and it was a peaceful feeling for me. The Lord is with us no matter what. He is in our ups and our downs yes that was tongue in cheek. Although this fall has made things change and shift for Dale and I, it has not moved God off of his throne. I used to give my oldest daughter the scripture Philippians 4:13 often, she would use it as her life verse and still does, I believe. It came to me that I too need to lean on this scripture I may not be able to do everything that I did last week. But that doesn’t mean that I am useless or helpless. I’m grateful for all the prayers of friends, family, church people and the people who read this blog who may not even know me personally. I have felt the presence of your prayers, the encouragement of your prayers, and the love that has been poured into these prayers. Our God is a good God He has given me a sense of humor and I have laughed several times this week at the antics of functioning with one hand.

It has always been my goal that if something major were to happen to me that I would not look in agony at myself, but that I would be able to share the glory of God throughout my experience. Granted, this is not life-threatening, it is not something that will alter my life forever, it’s an inconvenience but even in this I want to praise God in all things.

I have been blessed this week with gifts of food, prayers and people saying that they missed reading my blog. That is something I did not expect and it has ministered to my heart in ways I cannot even describe. Thank you to all of you who have stood by me, encouraged me, love me and cheered me on I’m going to attempt to write. It may not be daily but I am going to try to attempt to write often throughout this process.

This will be a different manner for me but I know in the Lord I can do all things.

Fumble Fingers

“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:13-14 (NKJV)

This is just one of my favorite verses. I try to remind myself of this verse daily. I have a hopeless case of comparison-itis. Yes, I just made up that word.

I read works from others, and some I personally know and I sit in awe of the way they express themselves. If I allow myself, I can become discouraged. I question if I am truly hearing from the Lord to write or if I am just doing an exercise for myself. (Just being truthful here, not needing encouragement)

Each morning I read a devotion from Max Lucado. He has such a wonderful way of expressing himself and drawing me into the Lord for the day. I am thankful for this little book of his.

As I read this morning the above thoughts came to mind. I wondered like I mentioned above if there was anyone I had touched like Mr. Lucado touches me with his words. (Again, just being truthful here.)

I know the Lord has called me to do what I am doing. I am excited to see how He is prospering my attempt to share good things about Him. It has been fun for me. I began to talk myself out of the comparison-itis and was feeling very positive, almost like I was confident in MY ability.

I messaged a friend today and I inadvertently hit several keys without realizing it and the message was a mess. The recipient will most likely look at it and wonder if I had been drinking this morning or maybe I am not mentally intact.

In this day when we text and get ‘fat fingers’ we understand goofs in messages and texts. My friends are well aware of my problem with fat fingers. But, although I am fearfully and wonderfully made, my problem isn’t just fat fingers. I had a memory come to me of why I think I am fumbled fingered. Years ago I applied for a job while stationed in Japan. It was for the headquarters of the command as a typist for their legal department. I went in, interviewed, and started the typing test. I sat, corrected my posture, placed my fingers on the keys and typed what was before me. I had great time. I ripped the paper out of the typewriter (which by the way is a great feeling) and turned it in. I was thanked for the interview and was told that I would hear in a few days.

The position was for a GS-9, a government position. My GS rating had expired while overseas. Dale later talked with the man who interviewed me. The man relayed that a current rating applied after I had and since their rating was active, they were hired. At the end of the conversation the man told Dale that my typing test was all wrong. I had placed my fingers on the wrong keys to start the test and my score was negative 180 words. I have always had fat fingers. They were actually going to hire me except for the person with the current rating.

Comparison-itis can be fatal. Fortunately, that one test stands out to me often. I failed miserably, yet, they were going to hire me. Comparing ourselves to others is like questioning if the Lord actually did create each of us in a wonderful and fearful manner. We are looking at the giftings and abilities of others and wonder why we can’t be like them. We will never be like ‘them’, simply because we are NOT them.

Yes, I may make typing errors often. My sentence structure may be off. I may not be as deep spiritually as I would like. I know, though, that God uses us when we are willing to be used. He uses broken vessels and those of us with fumbled fingers.

Distant friends

“Good news from far away is like cold water to the thirsty” Proverbs 25:25 (NLT).

I have a friend I have never met face to face. This used to be uncommon, but now with social media it has become normal. We all join groups of interest and through these groups attachments are formed when we recognize a kindred spirit. I find this fascinating. You can talk with someone from a different state or a different country and it’s as easy as talking with someone you grew up with.

Today I heard from such a friend. I had messaged her and it is sometimes days before she can get a minute to respond. Of course, she often waits for me to respond also. There is an understanding that we will answer when we have a few minutes where we can answer completely, and also inquire how the other is doing. I love that.

When I saw that she was online and answering my heart smiled. The scripture above came to mind, as hearing from her is like a refreshing drink of water. We share news of family and health. We ask about our spouses. Most of all, we share prayer requests. She prays for me and I pray for her. We share what’s on our mind, the only thing truly missing is a cup of coffee and a table to sit across from each other.

Someday I hope to meet her face to face. I hope to hug her and pray for her directly. She has been a gift to me. Philippians 1:3, sums it up for me,  I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,”

Someday friends will all be gathered together, we will stand side by side worshiping our Lord. We will praise Him for who He is, we will praise Him for His grace, mercy and forgiveness. We will praise Him for giving us gifts of love in friendships. Together, those we have never met, and those who are with us daily, will be united.

Heritage

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” Psalm 127:3 (NLT)

I have two grandchildren. A young man about to turn ten and a little girl who will turn eight on her next birthday.

Our grandson recently finished fourth grade. He is home-schooled and has excelled under the tutelage of our daughter, who is an accomplished teacher. Our youngest daughter recently posted pictures for the end of fourth grade, they were precious (of course they were, I’m Grammy) . They showed aspects of the school year including a video of him playing a piece on the piano.

Our granddaughter is still in school. She has two more weeks of first grade. She is also an incredible student. She is caring and giving and quick to learn anything. She is like a sponge and will talk to you about what all she is learning. I love to hear her read to me and she is teaching herself cursive under the watchful eye of our oldest daughter.

As I have thought about our grands today, I have felt beyond blessed. These children are excelling. They love the Lord and crave to know more about Him. Their parents guide and direct them.

These kids are my heritage. I look at my daughters and wonder how they became outstanding adults, knowing how many times I faltered and missed opportunities to teach them. Like most Moms I remember the seasons of frustration and anger. The times when I yelled to go to sleep instead of comforting them and lovingly tucking them in. I know I personally dwell on my shortcomings as a parent, but obviously I did something right since my daughters shine as Moms.

Now, their children have my heart. To see them grow, to see their smiles, and hear of their accomplishments is a gift to me. They are precious gifts given to me by our Lord and my kids.

Ten years ago as we were awaiting the birth of our grandson, I looked at my husband and said, “I may not have been the greatest Mom, but I think I was born to be a grandmother”. Grammy is the best name I have ever been called.

Reaching for the sun

I do not like summer. To me, it’s over-rated. The heat is unbearable. The mosquitos love me (I’m their favorite meal), and I burn like a cooked lobster (bright red with usual blisters). Although I do enjoy an occasional day at the shore or at a pool.

As I have mentioned previously, Dale and I are getting up at daybreak to work in the yard. We have cut down approximately twenty trees so far. Today were five on the larger size. Before gasping at the amount of trees felled, you must know we live on five acres and twenty trees down are not noticeable at all. Most of these trees have had limbs stretching out, trying to reach some sun. The limbs we had professionally removed were very large, one about fifty feet (it was over our house) and the one over our driveway was at least forty feet.

Today’s trees were not as large as the trees the limbs were removed from, but they were struggling to get enough light and air. We will be doing this for some time as we get our property the way we envision it.

This afternoon I walked a couple of slow laps on our driveway. I asked the Lord to open my eyes to see what He wanted me too. Yes, I was complaining to Him about the heat while I did this. I stopped to look at our home. With the big branches down the summer light is different from what it was.

The sunlight dappled through the trees. I could see the puffy white clouds clearly. The back yard was open and inviting. The sunlight in the woods was easily visible. I shocked myself that I was enjoying being outside.

I thought of the trees. I realized that they were trying to reach the sun. It was then that I heard, “You also are reaching out, trying to reach the Son.”

I love it when a thought turns into a post. It’s true, daily I try to reach the Son. To have His presence in my day. It was like receiving a big comfy hug which I needed today.

Yesterday, I woke up grumpy. I was irritated all day long. I was not pleasant to be around. I went to write yesterday afternoon, thinking that would improve my mood, that my focus would return to where it should be. I typed a title and all of a sudden, my screen was full of warnings and bright red blocks and none of the keys worked. Thankfully, I could write on my phone and my husband could fix my computer. This only frustrated me more. I went to bed early, as I could not take my mood anymore.

This morning after a good rest, I realized that it was me who was off yesterday, not the Lord. Psalm 143:8 is a clear reminder for me. “Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You.”

We all have off days. Days that seem to be filled with frustration and dead-ends, these are the times where we need to stretch out our arms and reach for the Son.

Gratitude

A long marriage develops over time. In our case, we basically grew into adults together. Dale was barely out of his teens and I celebrated my 20th birthday two weeks into our marriage.

Through the years we have endured much. We have equally loved one another and disliked each other many times. We are still a work in progress 47 and a half years later.

Yesterday we went to see Top Gun, Maverick. We haven’t been to many movies since the lockdown. In fact this was our third movie on the big screen since that time.

When the movie started and familiar music played, I smiled. Memories of the first Top Gun rushed forward in my mind. All through 1985 our paper carried stories of behind the scene exploits. San Diego was the focus in the original. Dale was stationed on the base where it was filmed. I was an ombudsman there and helped to start the Family Service center on that base. There is one scene in the original where Maverick drives his bike the wrong way up the street. Little details that made the movie for us. Plus, being in a Navy town the excitement was high with cheers throughout the show.

Yes, it all came flooding back to me. This time, we strained to see what was just out of the view of the film , hoping to catch more of our old hometown. We knew exactly where many of the scenes took place. We would say where things were in almost every scene. We walked out of the theater smiling and discussing the film. The only thing missing for us was not being in a Navy town. The undercurrent of excitement was not there.

As I sat in the theater, watching and remembering, I looked over at Dale. Gratitude filled me. Because of him, my life has been a full one. I have seen and experienced so much. I am a small town girl. I married a small town boy. Together we grew up into this couple who has witnessed much together.

We can’t take full credit though. The Lord is the One who has gifted us. He knit us together when we were unraveling. He strengthened us when we were weak and faltering. He gave us orders to places we didn’t think we’d like, but He knew exactly what we needed. Yes, gratitude fills my heart.

“Oh give thanks to the Lord for He is good! For His mercies endure forever. ” Psalm 107:1 (NKJV)

New Life

2 Corinthians 5:17, “ This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun” (NLT)

Old life, new life. The past couple of weeks Dale and I have been working outside. We have been cutting back some old life and making plans for some new life. A redesign of the exterior of our home. Nothing major, just taking out some trees and replacing them in the future with fruit trees. Recently Dale planted some berry bushes. Watching them grow and sprout into full growth is interesting. At times we wondered if they would make it. We wondered if the placement of the bushes was the right one. Will they get enough sun? Will they get too much sun?

As I began with this scripture, my mind was flooded with ideas about old life versus new life. Nicodemus wondered also when our Lord told him that he must be born again. I know I often rebelled at the thought of being a born-again Christian. I thought it was for weak people, or people who didn’t know who Jesus was. I was raised in church, I went to parochial school, I knew Jesus. I was a good person. That was all true, but for me, there came a point in my life that I knew I needed more. Once I became a born-again Christian, I discovered a whole new life for myself. The peace I experienced was different than everything else I had previously experienced. I understood what it meant for the old life to pass away and a new life beginning.

I didn’t expect as many changes that happened as result of becoming one of those Jesus people. I truly felt new. Although that was 45 years ago, I still feel like I am learning and growing. The excitement for life is vital to me. Yes, I have bad days and days that seem to linger forever, but, the basic part of me is so glad I discovered that new life.

Sundays

“And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Hebrews 10:25 (NLT)

Sundays always feel like sleep-in days. I can get up at 6:30 each morning, but when the alarm goes off on Sunday mornings usually at 7:00, I groan. I don’t feel like getting up or even moving for that matter. It takes so much for me to get going that one day of the week.

I know why. The enemy of our souls does not want us to go to church. The attempt to keep us from there usually involves being too tired to move or the desire to take off just one week. I think these things through as I crawl out of bed.

Dale is on the worship team, and they practice before church, so we are there at least an hour before church starts. I go to the infants room and sit in the rocking chairs there. When I started to do this, it was to close my eyes and get a few minutes rest before I had to face anyone.

It has now evolved into something else. Women come into the little room, grab a chair if there is one left and we visit. It has become a quasi-meeting of the minds. We ask about the week, we grumble if we need to, we laugh, we hug. We have knit ourselves into a small community for the 20 minutes we are together.

Those minutes are precious to me. I have come to know these women in a better way. We pray for one another. We lift each other up. We gain confidence with each other. We have become family. It is our warm up to church. We may enter that building tired, worn from the week and discouraged. We walk out of that little room a bit hopeful, caring for another’s burden, ready to stand and worship and sing and be fed from the pulpit, words that are life giving.

Sunday is family day for me. These faces I see in church are family. They make my week complete. They bolster me. I am grateful for their presence in my life. The Lord has brought together people from all over. Many are from this area and are actual blood relations. Many of us are from different parts of this country. We even met someone who is from our area. They lived 8 miles from us growing up. My cousin was their paper boy. This world is small. Our Lord draws people together for His glory and purpose. Yes, I know again this Sunday that I will have to drag myself out of bed. I will get to church and wake up. Family has that way of waking you up and making you smile.

Errands

It’s been a rainy week. Yard work has taken a back seat as the ground is wet and slippery and that does not bode well for Dale to be moving around on. Instead, this morning we went to Costco.

Before leaving the house this morning, I was online, on facebook to be exact. I read a post from a friend that talked about how we will need to adapt to things that will happen. Gas prices will continue to climb, so having multiple vehicles will be a luxury. Eating out will be a treat, not a necessity, and we will revisit old recipes to make things go further. It wasn’t a doomsday read, but more of a ‘hey, remember this?’ kind of read. It prompted some deep thoughts in me as we rode to costco.

Since rain looked imminent, we filled up our tank first. Never a great thing to do anymore, but one of those necessary evils. I watched from the front seat as Dale put gas into the car. The price rose quickly and it seemed like the gallon mark was broken, it slowly passed. When he finished, I commented that the gas total was more than our monthly grocery bill when we first married. Granted, that was a long time ago, but for what we spent at the pump, I could have gotten six weeks of groceries back then.

Lately I have been remembering prices and how we spent money growing up, how our daughters spent money and how money is spent today. Growing up, there were lean times and a few times of enough. Our daughters always had enough and some times of plenty. Today, if we look at our surroundings and the events in the world we think we are heading into very lean times with hopefully, enough.

I can watch the news and begin to feel panic and dread start to well up in me. Let’s face it, we don’t watch news to be lifted up and encouraged. I have to remind myself of the Lord. Psalm 37:25 is a good reminder for me. “Once I was young, and now I am old. Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned or their children begging for bread.” (NLT) The Word of God promises that we will be taken care of. God does not change. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He knows what is going to happen. Times may be rough in days to come. We may have to change how we live, how often we go out and about. We may not have snacks overflowing our cupboards or pantry. We may have to learn how to make meals stretch. But, this I do know. God will and does supply all our needs. Philippians 4:19 “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (NKJV)

So, as errands are finished and things put away I will declare that I will not worry about what’s next. I learned long ago not to dwell on future things. I usually have two things I think of in these situations. One is scripture (of course), “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matt. 6:34 (NKJV) and the other is something I adopted during one of Dale’s deployments,

Everyone needs a good Scarlet O’Hara moment, I know I have had plenty. I even have that gesture of putting my hand on my forehead as she did. Try it sometime, it does help. Also add a ‘fiddle de dee’ just for good measure, believe me, you will smile.

Vine and Branches

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches.” John 15:5a (NLT)

Today Dale and I finished cutting down the row of trees that separated our driveway from the back yard. The trees were fascinating to us when we moved into this home. They produced lovely flowers that attracted bees and were full of pollen.

At first, we did not know what the trees were, and shortly after moving in we found out that they were Rose of Sharon. That made us happy, as we feel the Lord directed us to this home and has blessed us with this home. One of the names of our Lord is Rose of Sharon.

Our love for the Rose of Sharon has greatly diminished over the years. It is an example of how the Lord should be in our lives, our Lord being an integral part of our lives whatever we are doing. The tree however makes certain it is an integral part of our yard. If there is a square inch of space the tree will grow there. No matter where we look on our property, Rose of Sharon are there.

This grouping though had honeysuckle vines throughout, which gave it a heavenly scent and we loved that. It filled the air with sweetness.

The past couple of days Dale has been cutting the trees and branches down and I have been hauling them to our wood pile. This has been interesting to me.

John 15:5 is one of Dale’s favorite scriptures. He will quote it often and I love hearing him talk about it. The image I get when I think of this verse is of a grapevine. Jesus is the main stock of the vine and we are the branches that go out from the center. I have never had another image of it, until today.

As I have mentioned we have been cutting and the honeysuckle is in the midst of the trees. We noticed yesterday that although the branches and the trunk were cut down we could not pull them free of the honeysuckle. This morning it was more of the same. Dale had to cut the vine loose before the branches could be moved.

I thought about the vines as I dragged the limbs up the driveway to the wood debris pile. I leaned down to pick up one more branch and noticed that the vine was like a rope, three cords wound together on the branch. As I picked up the branch I heard, “I am the Vine”.

The picture I next thought of was what I had seen happen. Dale would cut the branch, but it would be held up by the vine. What I interpreted from this is, when we have been grafted into the Vine, our Lord holds us tight. He wraps us up in Him. When satan tries to cut us away, cause us to shift our focus, we may be distanced from our roots, but our Savior is holding us tight. Keeping us wrapped in Him. The Vine giving us stability.

The rest of the above verse is followed by more illustrations. John 15:5-8 in the Message says, ““I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.”

After my morning lesson, I have continued to think about what I heard, saw and experienced. I hope that, like those branches now on the woodpile, I will cling to the Vine, having my Savior wrapped around me, helping keep me in His perfect will. I will lean into the Vine and make my abode with Him.