Author: marycatherinethomas

M. Catherine Thomas is a published writer, speaker and teacher. Mother of two and grandmother..

The God who Sees Me ~ Jehovah El ro i

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“Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are God Who Sees”; for she said, “Have I not even here [in the wilderness] remained alive after seeing Him [who sees me with understanding and compassion]?” Genesis 16:13 (AMP)

Each of us have had those moments in our lives where we feel alone. We may be in a group of people, or in the middle of a job, or shopping in a mall, yet, we feel alone, isolated, unseen.

I have had those seasons. Times when I felt that if I walked off the face of the earth no one would notice. These periods can be referred to as depression, abandonment, isolation, distant, we each have put a name to the feeling.

I spent many years feeling this way. Invisible.

The verse above talks about Hagar, she was pregnant with Abraham’s son and was frightened. She fled to the desert and there she met God. This verse gives the name to God, in Hebrew El roi; which means God never sleeps, He sees, He is aware, He is the great Omnipresent God.

I had a moment when I realized that God did see me. He knew what I was dealing with, He saw my heart and my mind. He reached down to me and I knew that I knew that He saw me.

God does see us each day. He sees our discouragement, He sees our victories. He sees our doubts and fears and He gives us direction. He never disappoints, He never sleeps, He watches over us while we sleep, but He doesn’t drift off to sleep. He sees us. He sees us at our worst and at our best.

When others seem to drop off in being there for you, God does not. His presence is a constant presence. His love never wavers. He cares for us with an everlasting care. He will never leave us, for He is the God who sees us.

When I think of this, it does baffle my mind. I think I need to be worthy of His gaze, be someone or something special. El ro i, has no agenda, He meets us in the desert with all of our fears, and dread. He presents His care, His love in abundance, He is the oasis in our personal deserts. Praise Him!

Lord, reveal Yourself to those who may be struggling while reading this. Where there is that feeling of not being seen by anyone, reveal Yourself to them. Let them see Your magnificent presence. To feel drawn into Your love, Your peace, Your acceptance. Amen.

The Lord will Provide ~ Jehovah-Jireh

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“Then Abraham lifted his eyes and looked, and there behind him was a ram caught in a thicket by its horns. So Abraham went and took the ram, and offered it up for a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 And Abraham called the name of the place, The-Lord-Will-Provide; as it is said to this day, “In the Mount of the Lord it shall be provided.” Genesis 22:13-14 (NKJV)

There is a song we have sung at church by Don Moen, “Jehovah-Jireh”. It talks about our God providing for us. It is a song that comes into my mind often.

Each day we experience God’s provision. It may be little things, food on our table, gas in our vehicles, roof over our head, clothes in our closet. Each of these are provisions from our God. Yes, we have worked for them and paid for them, but it from the Lord’s provision that this was possible.

I try to be cognizant of these daily things in my life. They are blessings to me. There have been times where my faith has been tested. Times when we looked at our accounts and knew there was not enough to meet the need. Other times when illness was front and center in our lives and we did not know what would come next. Times when I have felt like I was locked in a closet without a way to exit, that feeling of hopelessness and despair. The times when my faith was not robust, but still was the size of a mustard seed.

It is during seasons like this, that along with fear and doubt comes self-condemnation, allowing the noise to keep playing in your mind that you are not good enough, that no one cares, that if I only would do (and then fill in the blanks). The enemy of our souls has a good time in these seasons. It is during these times I go to Matthew 10:29-31, “What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. 30 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” (NLT)

Our God is a God of provision. Nothing escapes His attention. He does provide. I have seen it over and over in my life. He has provided Christmas gifts, shoes, formals, groceries, encouraging words at just the exact time they were needed. He has made meals stretch, groceries last, power bills to be reasonable. He is Jehovah-Jireh, my provider. His grace is sufficient for me.

The provisions don’t come with a loud fanfare, it is not announced via a bullhorn for all to hear and notice. No, like providing a ram stuck in bushes for Abraham, He will provide for me and for you. After that provision, your faith will grow just a bit more. In each place we have lived, I have experienced times where I did not think there was a provision for the problems I was facing. I have stood at windows praying for help, for guidance, for provision. And, at each place the Lord would have me focus at what I was looking at while praying, Mt Fuji, Mt. Desert, the Pacific Ocean, ponds with alligators, and comforting woods, all breath-taking vistas. They stood as a reminder of where the Lord had taken me, and what I was enjoying already. How gracious is my God in that while I was in misery, I was in places of awe for most of the world. It would stir me to recognize the great provision I had already received. Then with His perfect grace, God would again provide for me.

“My God shall supply all my needs
According to His riches in glory
He will give His angels
Charge over me

Jehovah Jireh cares for me, for me, for me
Jehovah Jireh cares for me

Jehovah Jireh
My provider
His grace is sufficient
For me, for me, for me

Jehovah Jireh
My provider
His grace is sufficient
For me” Don Moen

Names

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My full name is Mary Catherine. If you count my Confirmation name from the Catholic church my name is Mary Catherine Anne. My family has always called me Cathi, well, actually they called me Cathy until I went into my freshman year of high school and I changed the spelling of my name to Cathi. I thought it was fun and cute, never thought it would stick and now I am a 67 year old with a cutesy name… it’s like I need to make certain I have a cute little heart or flower when I write the ‘i’ at the end. In jest, some people have called me Cat-hi.

The nuns always called me either Mary or Mary Catherine. I still have some friends from elementary school who will occasionally refer to me as Mary Catherine.

In middle school, since I was taller than most of the class, I was called Stilts and Jolly Green Giant, sometimes Wilt (the Stilt). But, with age, I no longer claim such titles.

Dale calls me Kate or Katie and sometimes by my maiden name, McCarthy.

Each of us have a variety of names that we are known by. Some are pet names, some are full names, and some are the all important names of Mom, or Grammy. The point being, we answer to many names, each special, each individual, each with meaning.

Our God has many names also. We are all familiar with the common names, God, Jesus, the Christ, the Messiah, our Savior, Holy Spirit, Holy Ghost. These are the names most referred to describe God. God is also Abba (Father), God the Son, and again, God the Holy Spirit.

Apart from these there are compound names of God that each mean a particular aspect of God. For the next few days I am going to write about these compound names of God and what they mean to me.

Let’s start with Jehovah-Rohi, The Lord is my Shepherd. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” Psalm 23:1(NKJV) This psalm talks about the Lord leading us to lie down in safety and provides for our needs, how He protects us and shields us. It is a comforting psalm for us. It allows us to see what the Lord, my Shepherd does.

In Luke 15:4-7, it tells us, “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ 7 I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.” (NKJV)

I love this passage, as it talks about not only Jesus being my Shepherd, He is also my Savior. This description of going and searching for a lost sheep is what He did for me. He saw me as I was heading down paths that were dangerous and not life giving. He found me and picked me up.

A shepherd puts a lamb or sheep on his shoulders so that the lamb can hear the shepherd’s voice. It is during this time the lamb learns to hear what he needs to hear. He is held closely to the shepherd and learns from him. His rod and his staff are used to correct lambs.

The Lord is my Shepherd, Jehovah-Rohi, I have experienced the Lord in this way. He sought me, found me, picked me up and held me. I learned His voice and experienced His shepherding. He has provided for me, a place to lay my head, a place to rest, a place to be nourished. I do fear no evil, because He is with me, protecting and guiding me. I have had to be tutored with God’s rod and staff. I have been corrected because God is my shepherd.

I am still learning all that Jehovah-Rohi is to me. Sheep are stubborn animals and not the smartest. We, as Christians are sheep, He is our Shepherd. He will continue to provide, train and correct me in safety and security until the day that we are with Him forever.

He’s Got This

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“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;” Philippians 4:6 (NKJV)

I can either be a Pollyanna person, seeing just the best in all situations or a Scarlett O’Hara who will fiddle de de a situation into tomorrow when I will think about it. Neither one is a good solution permanently, there is a need for balance in all things.

I do love this scripture, though, for it’s beginning, be anxious for nothing. I need that reminder often. When I have something to pray for or about, I can find myself being anxious. Eventually, I am able to give over the situations to God. Place my cares, my anxieties, my doubts into the precious hands of our Lord and let Him take care of it.

There is time when I apply all parts of this scripture to a cause or person. I can honestly approach the throne of grace and lay out my concerns, my dilemma, or a loved one placing them at the feet of God. It is in those times that I am comfortable in my prayer and attitude.

Prayer is a tricky thing, I think. What we pray in the natural mind and for what we think is a viable prayer is one thing. Our God knows our heart. He sees beyond the words spoken and looks into our hearts and into the reason of prayer. It is often said that God answers prayer three ways, yes, no, or wait. I also think there is a fourth way that prayer is answered. This answer is beyond our expectations. As I said, God looks at what we praying for, and He sees the person, the situation that is the object of prayer. Our God sees it all. Our heart, our need, our situation. He is intimately aware of the entire situation.

What we may perceive as a wonderful answer for us, may not be wonderful for a situation or a person we are praying for. We tend to ask for a resolution and a positive action. We want it all tied up in a pretty package with a lovely bow on top. Sometimes that may not be the best thing. That is where faith and trust in God comes.

We see with our human eyes and imagine outcomes from our human brains. God is so much greater. He sees eternity. He sees the beginning, the middle and the end. It’s not that prayer is unnecessary, it’s just that in our human ways we can limit God, thinking we know what the best answer is.

When we entrust our prayers to God, we know that He will work all things out. That is who He is. It is then that we must remember to thank Him for all that He has done. How many times do we say, “that’s an answer to prayer”? Do we then stop and thank our Father in heaven for that answer? It is my belief that this is a vital part of prayer. Thanksgiving and thankfulness is a condition we need to clothe ourselves in. As a child I learned please and thank-you as good manners, with our God we can say please often, but is it followed with thank-you?

“in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” I Thessalonians 5:18 (NKJV)

Today I had news of an answered prayer I have brought before the Lord for years. It is a prayer close to my heart for someone I love. As I hung up from the phone call, I smiled and said, “Thank You Lord, this is above my wildest expectations. You are so great.” He is great and worthy to be praised.

Just One of those Days

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“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (NLT)

This scripture is like a cozy blanket on a cold day. The Lord blankets us with a promise, with security, and with peace.

There comes a time each year that marks a difference. Although the calendar says August, it feels like a day in late October. The temperature is below 80, the sky is filled with gray clouds and rain has been sputtering off and on. I actually wore a sweater as I walked today, it was glorious.

A day like this happens and it calls out for soup for dinner. I love to make soup, but it isn’t one of my favorite meals. Tonight is mulligatawny soup. This soup I do enjoy. It is comforting.

It has been on of those days where you want to just be lazy. To be wrapped in a cozy blanket and feel snuggled in. I have felt the presence of the Lord today. I have not been compelled to do anything except unwind and rest. The type of day where I an easily picture myself climbing onto the lap of the Lord and listen to His heartbeat. To feel His rhythmic breathing and feel His warmth. Better than any blanket available, and so much more peaceful.

So, as I try to bring comfort in food and atmosphere in our home, internally I am sensing a calm and restful time in the Lord. “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NASB) This scripture is for all, all of us that need salvation, and all of us who need a day to snuggle. Our Lord beckons us to come to Him, He will open His arms and welcome us in. I imagine it is like snuggling with a little one, you grab a blanket, open your arms and climb into your lap as the blanket closes in around them. You then settle in and breathe deeply.

Back to School

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“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NLT)

School started back this morning here in the upstate. My facebook page is filled with first day of school photos of kids either very excited or the middle school and high school kids with sleepy expressions and that first day of school look. I smile with each picture I see, as I remember the feeling of the first day of school and I think of my daughter’s first day of school each year.

It is the feeling on mornings like this that the school year looms ominously ahead. Going back to having to wake up early, starting a schedule again, and the uncertainty of what the year holds. To me, it is a reminder of when to plan my shopping trips so that I don’t end up behind school buses making the thirty minute trip to town more like forty-five minutes.

My Little Man started his school year last week. He is homeschooled, and in the fifth grade. I know his fifth grade teacher is much better than my own. Of course, I also know my youngest is an excellent teacher. Little Miss starts early September. She will head into second grade.

This fall, my younger sister will realize she is a retired teacher. She retired in June, but, like every year previous, she had the summer off. She is now realizing that there are no lesson plans to get ready, no classroom to prepare, that school is out forever. In years past, she said school was a word off limits for the month of July and August. I remember hearing that and still I smile. I can’t help but feel a bit melancholy for her this year. She touched so many lives which in turn will reach future generations. I admire her.

So, as I think of this new school year, all bright and shiny with new pens, pencils and crayons that have points I pray for each teacher, student, cafeteria workers, bus drivers, and staff that helps everyone run. May this be a year of joy. A year of learning, not only head knowledge, but heart knowledge. May there be peace and safety on the school grounds and on the bus runs. May our Lord bless those who touch our precious ones with learning.

Sunday Quiet

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“There remains therefore a rest for the people of God.” Hebrews 4:9 (NKJV)

It is late Sunday afternoon. Our day has gone well, up and out of the house in time for worship practice for Dale and then church.

Church was wonderful and we left refreshed from the service. We grabbed some lunch and headed home.

This is usually what our Sundays look like. Sundays are a quiet day, no unnecessary activity, just what is needed. Naps are often part of the afternoons, and Dale slept in his chair today while I walked.

As I walked, I thought about how quickly this summer has passed by. I complain about summer, I dread it’s beginning, I dislike the heat and the humidity and I dread the season. This afternoon it occurred to me that it really doesn’t last long, my attitude towards it lasts longer.

Seasons pass by too soon. Days also. It’s nice to take time once a week to slow down. It is on Sundays that I spend much of my time thinking. Yes, I am blessed by church services, by prayer through the morning, and conversations that I have. Then, at home I think of all my should haves and could haves. My why haven’t I accomplished this, or when are you going to do this?

I blame the quiet. It gives me time to think, to ponder and to comprehend how I feel about friends and family. Sundays are the days I allow myself to think about those who are dear to me. To recognize those homesick feelings for people who live away from me.

Yes, I am thankful for quiet days. I love Sundays. I feel challenged, though, as to how to communicate with family how much I care and love them. How my heart longs to talk uninterrupted and for length. Times and seasons pass, I need to learn to put into action how to communicate and spend the time with those I love.

Just Under the Surface

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“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19 (NLT)

I can remember watching my Dad watch the news or speeches on television. He would always look at the t.v., and start yelling at whoever was on the screen. I thought this was a bit overkill, as the only people who heard what he was saying were in the house, and if it was summer and the windows were open, those in the neighborhood.

I couldn’t understand this until a few years ago. I then realized that a part of my Dad lived on in me. I actually try not to listen to much news. I know that is terrible, but I listen to know what is going on and I read, but I cannot sit and listen and be still. I usually stand up and walk towards the t.v., yelling as I go. I then turn to Dale and express my outrage. Every. Single. Time.

For the most part, I am a sane human being. Some would call me gentle, kind, funny. They have never seen me watch the news. I have a comment for everything, and sometimes that’s not good. I do repent, but then I feel compelled to explain my position to the Lord. I’m sure it’s like watching the cartoons with the tasmanian devil, you don’t know whether to laugh or slap him. I do picture the Lord on His throne looking over to the Father and commenting that eventually I will wear myself out and then I will be quiet.

Needless to say, I have not come to the point of living like the above scripture suggests. Even when I do succeed in being quiet, my facial expressions are screaming.

Sometimes I just have to let you know how I truly am.

Not Perfect, yet

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“I make a way for people to access that Kingdom. But in this world, bones will still break, hearts will still break, but in the end the light will overcome darkness.”  – from the Chosen, season 2

The above quote was from the writers of the series The Chosen for the character of Christ. I love this quote (one of many that I love). It speaks to people now. I am certain the Lord would have said this also. Not a doubt in my mind about that.

When people accept Jesus as their Savior, too often they expect perfection immediately. Not so. We are in this world. We are impacted by what we experience in this world. That is why that quote hits me so hard. We will experience everything in this world. Our hearts will be broken. Bones will still break (I know that one personally, ha!). We will have hard times. Illness will come, diseases might attack us. We will be in this world.

Does being born again save us from any of this? No. Do we conquer it all? Maybe, maybe not.

This I do know though, we have a person who knows what it is like to be here on earth. Jesus the Christ. Because He was here on earth, He understands. He’s walked this land, He’s experienced what it’s like here. He knows.

“He was the source of life, and that life was the light for humanity.” John 1:4 (Names of God Bible)

Jesus is God. We can come before Him and make our requests known to Him. I do this daily. Sometimes I actually have an answer to prayer that I prayed. Most of the time the answer is not exactly what I prayed for, but in time I see the wisdom of the answer. Yes, my heart has been broken several times. I yelled at God, I screamed at Him, I begged Him. Was there an immediate answer? No, actually I had a season to walk through each time. Many times it was not easy. Now, in hindsight, I can see reasons why I experienced things in my life. I learned. I actually learned from the best in leaning on the Lord.

We each have a time here on earth. This is not our home. We are just here for a moment in eternity. But, we can access that kingdom with our broken areas of our life. We can turn to the Light of the world and in Him we can persevere.

Memories of Maine

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The other day my oldest daughter and I started to reminisce about Maine. We were stationed there in the early 80’s. Our oldest was five months old when we reported to our duty station in Winter Harbor. We left Maine when she was three.

Since that time, we have gone back just a few times. The last time we visited, our oldest was going into sixth grade. I was surprised at how many sights she remembered from Maine. I smiled to myself to hear her talk about Downeast Maine.

I mentioned a few more sights and with each mention, she got a bit more excited. After talking with her, I have not stopped thinking about our time there. It was a special place to live. The Navy community was small, and close knit. Friendships were formed that still last to this day. I often say I left a big part of my heart there.

This morning I woke up early. Usually when I awake that early I fall back to sleep easily. This morning was not so. I turned over and my eyes popped open and my brain was racing with clarity. In my mind, I walked through the little town where we lived. I could picture things that I am sure are no longer there. The Donut Hole, a building that looked like a fishing shack that overlooked the water. On the wall hung many mugs belonging to the regulars. There was always some group of fishermen, lobstermen, or locals sitting around tables, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Across the street was a grocery store, where you were greeted warmly whenever you went in.

I often walked into town with our daughter. We would visit the Five and Dime store and I would glance across the street to the drug store that had a soda counter in it. The town still calls to me. My heart still yearns to be back there.

The Navy has long since left the area. The housing for military personnel are now privately owned or rented out to tourists.

I can still hear the waves crashing onto the rocks and the shore. Having been a Navy family, we were always around a body of water, but the coast of Maine remains the most beautiful coast to me. The water is grey. The air is brisk. It churns with energy unlike the lapping water of many of the coasts I have been around. I can still feel the smell of the water, it filled your senses and made me feel alive. In winter it was especially angry, always turbulent, like it was trying not to freeze over in the frigid temperature. I love the coast of Downeast Maine.

Yes, a large piece of my heart is in Maine, as it became a part of me. The experience of living there, meeting the people there is woven into me. It has been forty years since we left, yet I can return there rapidly in my mind.

It’s easy to yearn for places you have been. To recall the sights, the sounds, the smells and long to return. It’s a known place to you.

“In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. 4 And where I go you know, and the way you know.” John 14:2-4 (NKJV)

Jesus promised us a place with Him. The Master Carpenter is preparing a mansion for us. He is coming back for us.

Although I have never been there, have never lived there, there is a place deep within me that yearns for Heaven a little more than I yearn for Winter Harbor. My heart lies in Heaven, and it waits to be there with my Lord.