Lesson from Lucinda

Lucinda is my granddaughter’s cat. She got her for her birthday and she is a cute cat as far as cats go. I always wanted a cat until I worked as a vet tech while living in Japan.

The job forever jaded my view of cats. I was bit at least five times a day by cats. I was only bit once by a dog. So, my affinity for cats diminished greatly. I still hold the same view.

But, Lucinda is part of the family now. She is a sweet little thing, but I often remind her that I don’t like cats and that if she knew what all I helped participate in with cats (spaying, neutering) she wouldn’t like me.

That being said, Lucinda is carried upstairs each morning to participate in waking up our Little Miss. She knows her routine and will wait for you to carry her up the steps most mornings.

I say most because, still being mostly kitten (she is about 9 months old), she gets the crazies some mornings. One morning in particular, I chased her around trying to grab her to carry her up the steps and keep Little Miss’s schedule. I finally grasped her and she fought. The result being a long scratch in the palm of my hand.

At that point, I was not happy with the cat.

Today as I woke up, my mind went to a few things. One was this scripture, “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—  my Savior and my God!” Psalm 42:11 (NLT)

The past couple of days have been full of emotions for me. I titled a post Emotions yesterday, but, I could not write. As I went about my day this morning, it occurred to me that sometimes, although we feel okay and will answer ‘doing good’ when asked how I am, that is not always the case.

Emotions run deep. Sometimes we are not aware of how we are truly doing. We are functioning, we are going about our day, we are giving God our praise, on the outside we are doing good.

Inside though, we may be feeling drained, tired, uninspired, without energy. This is what I finally realized this morning. As I had my quiet time this morning I glanced down at my hand. There is a scar from where Lucinda scratched me.

I looked at my hand and remembered that morning. Usually the routine goes like this, you go into Little Miss’s room, turn off the ceiling fan, turn off her sound machine and gently wake up my sleeping princess. In between you put Lucinda on the bed and she gently snuggles into Little Miss. That morning I did what was needed to be done, and Lucinda who had the crazies jumped all over Little Miss, and ran up and down her bed.

Little Miss woke up giggling. What a great way to start the day, isn’t it?

Those memories came to mind and then I looked again at my hand. The day of the scratch, my hand hurt so much. In fact, it hurt for a couple of days until it scabbed over. When we got home last week, the scratch drove me crazy with itching. Now all that is left is a scar.

As I finished my quiet time, I felt that this scar taught me a lesson (from Lucinda the cat), emotions can hurt, they can give you an itch that is not quenched. You can live with them, but deep emotions can leave you with a scar.

The scar is a reminder of what you have been through. My emotions I have kept at a distance. I still do. I needed to help, and be strong, and do what needed to be done.

Last week I told myself to rest, get caught up on sleep in my own bed. This week, I wanted to do the same. The thing is, you can’t . So, now I am dealing with the deep emotions that are within me. I have never been one to show my emotions, so even writing this is different.

My heart hurts. But, I have and continue to speak to my soul, “why are you downcast oh my soul?” My faith has not dwindled, I know that God is the great physician and healer of both body and soul, but, my humanity is showing.

I will continue to look at my Lucinda scar. It will remind me that pain will heal, and afterwards memories of this time will be sweet, lessons will have been learned, faith will have grown stronger and God is on His throne ever constant and faithful when we have faltered and grown weary.

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

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