A few years ago I started to shake. At first it was once in a while. It grew to almost daily. Soon the shakes were affecting my arms and hands and my head felt like there was someone using my head as a rattle. Then my husband started asking why I was moving my mouth while he was talking. I personally thought he was imagining things.
Eventually I mentioned this to my primary care physician and she found a neurologist for me to see. For the past year I have been seeing him every few months.
Today I had an appointment with this man. He is an incredible doctor, one that exudes confidence, comfort and understanding. He listened as we talked with him. He did several tests and came to the conclusion that I have essential tremors. I told him I was glad they were essential as I would not like to have non-essential ones.
What are they, you ask? Think of Katherine Hepburn in the movie On Golden Pond. I have what she had only without her millions. I had asked if they were part of the deal, but, alas, they are not.
Even though I have total trust in this physician, I always go to the Great Physician first. So, this morning as I walked, I asked the Lord to go ahead of me. I asked that my weight be good, my blood pressure be good and that I would get a good report. I weighed myself before going to the doctor, my scale is my friend. I think it goes on the heavy side, but at least it is consistent.
I walked into the office and stopped to be weighed. The weight was almost the exact number as it was at home. It was .8 lbs. more, but, I will take it. Having bested the scale I sat down and the dreaded cuff came out. I hate that cuff. It is not my friend. It makes people on the other end take a breath and shake their head. Today, the cuff loved me, and the feeling was almost returned.
So far, everything was great. I was thrilled. The doctor came in, did the usual tests, like have me draw circles in the air, and walk and stand up from sitting, and have my eyes follow his finger. Nothing painful. His conclusion? I am holding steady. Praise God!
The best part of today, besides going for lunch with Dale afterwards, was that my next appointment is in a year.
As I type this, I am relieved. Is there an answer for this? No, it will be my companion until I see Jesus. But, I am at peace with it all. Yes, I may dribble water from my glass, and drop things off of my fork. I may move my lips while others talk, but I am okay with this.
I know that my Lord has a purpose in my life. There is a purpose for these tremors. He will see me through this all. I just won’t ask for sharp knives as a gift, I will keep to my dull ones, they are safer in my hands.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)