I recently wrote about this psalm. It is a favorite of mine, although I truly didn’t understand it’s impact on me until a few years ago.
I have struggled most of my adult life with fear and insecurity. For people who know me, they do not believe I am an introvert. People can wear me out. After a few hours in a crowd I see faces and see mouths moving and it’s like I am in a tunnel where everything is echoing. Before retirement, Dale would have galas to attend and of course, I would be with him. I would usually spend the day preparing to go. Not fussing with makeup or hair, but talking to myself. I would give pep talks trying to boost my self-confidence. These were pointless, as I would have a melt down on the way to the event. My poor husband.
I would like to say that now, I can walk into a group of strangers and be perfectly fine. I can’t.
If I am teaching or speaking, I can do that just fine. That’s how I know it’s the Lord. I love speaking to groups of women. I love ministering to them. I am strong and bold and confident. Again, that is the Lord working in spite of me.
A few years ago, during a sleepless night, the Lord had me get up and read Psalm 139. As I was in the process of starting to write a Bible study, I thought it might be a good place to start. It was my favorite study of all. This psalm talks about who we are and how we were created. Our God formed our inward parts when there was not one day yet. He spoke into us the best of our parents and grandparents. Look at old family photos. Look closely and you will see yourself in some ways in them. We may have an aunt’s nose, your mother’s eyes, your uncle’s height. Or like me, you may have your father’s uni-brow. We are a compilation of our family. The Lord knit within us our sense of humor, our intelligence, our way of being us.
Our God knows us intimately well. He sings over us daily, songs of love. He knows when we lay down and when we rise. Our thoughts are before Him. We cannot escape His presence.
If we are that important to our Creator, who are we to question how we look, what we weigh, how we talk? We are His masterpiece.
“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Psalm 139:16 (NLT)