Tag: Navy wife

Rookie Mistake

Published on by marycatherinethomas2 Comments

“A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (NKJV)

If you notice, the scripture from this post is the same as my last post. I am learning this scripture. Not trying to memorize it, although that would be easy enough, but learn it. God directing my steps.

Yesterday Dale left for a men’s retreat. I have told him that this was my time to play. You know the adage, ‘while the cat’s away, the mice will play.’ He would just look at me and smile. He knows me better. My idea of ‘playing’ is staying up past 9:30!

So, I dropped him off at the church and ran an errand that I had. In the past, I’d stop at the store and load up on snacks that I love to indulge in. Yesterday’s stop at the store was not the usual. Nothing looked good. I bought a couple of things and headed home.

This is where the scripture comes in. On the way home from the store, I ran through a list of things I was going to accomplish. It was going to be a great evening and I had it all planned.

I unload the car, which didn’t take long. I locked the car, of course. I came into the house and dropped my bags and proceeded to get the trash ready to take to the curb, or the head of the driveway as we have no curbs.

I was sailing along, cleaned out the fridge, loaded up the trash bag, grabbed my phone shoving it into my jeans’ pocket.

(Now at this point, I should describe the door we use all the time. It’s right by the driveway and it’s our go to door. The door knob will sometimes lock, but most of the time, it’s on vacation. We rely on our deadbolt which works great.)

I head out the door, throw the trash into the bin and pull it up the driveway. I check the mail, a piece of junk mail and a beautiful card from some friends in Colorado. I stroll back down the driveway, go up the steps and guess what was back from vacation? The door knob lock.

When I am at home alone, I usually carry my keys with me. It is something I have done since our Navy days. You have to be prepared. Guess who was not prepared yesterday? I looked at the door, I laughed. I actually could hear the Lord laughing. God directs my steps…. yep.

So, I look where we have hidden a key. No, not there. I walk around the house. I try using the junk mail envelope to do what you see people do in the movies. I realize it’s a bit chilly. Because, I just ran out of the house, with my long sleeve tee shirt and jeans on.

After praying, I decide I need to bite the bullet and call Dale. The thing I did not want to do. After all, he was in a van with his friends and I was going to be THAT wife. Graciously, he tells me where to look for the other key. I follow his directions, the key wasn’t put back the last time.

He calls locksmiths for me. He’s like that. Gracious. One calls back. It will be a couple of hours before someone can get there. I knew I made a rookie mistake. I knew the Lord was there with me, although laughing at my rookie mistake. He has gotten me through things like this before.

It’s around 4 p.m.. Our trees block the sun and at this point and my cheeks are getting rosy. I go next door. I ask to come in and it felt wonderful in there. I ask for a paper towel, because, well, it’s chilly and my nose is running.

I explain my situation. Their son and his girlfriend are sweet about not laughing in my face.

Fortunately their son was quick on his toes and handed me a spatula. This spatula. I love that spatula. I told them to never get rid of it.

So, armed with the spatula, I walk through the woods, and pray. It worked. It was the Lord. It was a miracle. But, a part of me smiled and said, “Welcome back Navy wife.”

I smiled to myself and thanked the Lord. Then it occurred to me to pray again. I had just opened my locked door with a spatula! A spatula! Thank You Lord for deadbolts and most of all, your protection.

Selfishness

Published on by marycatherinethomasLeave a comment

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” Philippians 2:3-4 (NLT)

We married young. I had an idea of what marriage would be, but, I confess it was based on Disney princess movies, and 50’s sitcoms like Donna Reed, Father Knows Best and like shows. What I needed back in 1974/75 was Roseann Barr.

So, the dream I had of marriage met with the reality of being a military spouse. They came crashing together abruptly two days after I said “I do”.

This caused anger in me. An undefined anger and resentment. It continued even after our salvation experience. People talk of great testimonies of being saved from addiction, vile life styles, crime and they are incredible testimonies. Not many people will testify that on the outside they looked good, and all together. Actually, I have never heard a person stand up and say, “I was an angry woman. I had resentment up to my eyeballs. I was redeemed from this.”

We don’t hear things like this because we are selfish. Everyone has a measure of selfishness in them. I am no different.

Today as I ironed Dale’s shirt the Lord walked me down memory lane. It was not a good memory trip.

“Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap  burning coals of shame on their heads.” Romans 12:20 (NLT)

This scripture came to mind shortly into my trip down memory lane this morning. I was enjoying ironing a shirt for Dale (I know, but I like to iron). I could almost hear the Lord laughing at me when I pressed the wrinkles out of the shirt. That is when my memory lane started.

I remember how much I hated to iron when we were first married. The creases that needed to be in the uniforms, the precision that needed to be there.

Sometimes being married to a Navy man who likes perfection was more than I could bear. Hence, the anger and resentment.

One day I was complaining loudly to the Lord about that man He blessed me with. And the scripture in Romans came to mind. I determined then, years and years ago, to do everything as perfect as I could, hoping to heap lots and lots of burning coals on Dale’s head.

At first I can remember growling over the things I did, seeing that he did not notice or stand up to applaud me. But, I continued to do so, praying for him to notice my diligence. I was doing things out of a selfish motive. I would do this, but, I wanted him to see me and lavish affection and gifts over me.

Years passed, I gritted my teeth many times. I whined to the Lord that I was not being appreciated. I refused to quit “heaping burning coals” on Dale’s head. After all, I was going that extra mile. I was being selfish.

Slowly I realized that as I ironed shirts and uniforms, my prayers were changing. Instead of praying for notice of my perfect creases in the shirts and pants, I was praying for my husband while he wore these uniforms and clothes.

I had found joy in the doing and without realizing it at the time, I was actually heaping burning coals upon myself. The coals finally burned through that selfishness and anger, revealing a love that was dormant for my husband.

I once heard a pastor say regarding marriage, “What ever was strong enough to draw you down the aisle, should be strong enough to keep you there.” There are a lot of arguments about that statement, but, to me, it made me realize that the young love I had when I married was indeed strong enough to keep me in the marriage.

When dreams and reality crash dynamics change. Continuing to be selfish does not help matters. After 48 years of marriage I can honestly say, I am still a bit selfish. I still want that applause and recognition from Dale. WE all crave that from our spouse, family, friends. But, the peace, and joy and satisfaction that with God’s help and strength, I can look at what I accomplish and say to our Lord, “Here is my effort. I may be more of a Roseann Barr type of Mom and wife, than a Donna Reed wife and mom, but this is from me. May it find worth in Your eyes.”