Tag: Marriage

Another Year

Published on by marycatherinethomas2 Comments

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (NLT)

Each year (or at the end of December) I begin to look back and take stock of what has happened.

This is true for this year also, only this year, my thoughts have gone farther back. This week my thoughts have been occupied about this week fifty years ago. Yes, I know that seems like a very long time ago, and no, I was not a child. I was 19 (well, I guess I could have been considered a child).

Fifty years ago today Dale and I went to pick up a U-Haul truck that my Dad had to sign for us to rent. We picked it up and together my Dad and I talked to each other on the way home. It was really the last long conversation I had with him as a single lady.

Fifty years ago tomorrow was our rehearsal dinner. I jokingly asked Dale today if I should make a dinner tomorrow evening. It was a specific menu. He just looked at me and asked why I would do that. I reminded him that it was our rehearsal dinner meal.

Our fiftieth anniversary is Saturday. We woke up to a blizzard. Summer tires on his car. Snowballs thrown at us, accidents holding our band up, knee deep snow, so many stories and memories. One of my aunts gave us three months tops to be married. I guess we proved her wrong. This is a season of big celebrations. In November Dale turned 70. This Saturday we will be married 50 years, and in February I will join the 70’s club.

As I look back on what has seemed at times only a short time, I cannot believe we have gotten to this point. I don’t feel old. I don’t feel like we have been married 50 years.

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. Andre Maurois

On the whole, we have had a good life together. We have grown up together. We have had great seasons and hard seasons. Life goes by swiftly and at times it drags. I am thankful for what we have had. I am thankful for our Lord who has held us together and lifted us up many times.

I would say, may we have another 50 years together, but I really can’t see either of us hanging on that long!

So, here is to our life together, 12 homes, lived in 12 different cities, two children, 6 dogs, 3 hamsters, 1 guinea pig, several gold fish, and our neighbor’s cat that lives at our house. 2 son in laws that are loved like sons, 2 grandchildren, 2 bonus grandchildren and 3 bonus great grandchildren. Not a bad life at all. Happy Anniversary Dale!

Women at the V.A.

Published on by marycatherinethomas4 Comments

Today I went with Dale for a couple appointments he had at the V.A.. It’s always an interesting time when we go.

Usually, I watch the veterans. Mostly men, older, although many young men are also there. I heard a few conversations between these men. One was talking about his Ranger training and as I turned to see who was talking, an older man limping down the hallway was doing the talking. To hear the stories and see the men is something that touches my heart deeply.

Today, though, my focus went to the wives. They accompanied their husbands. One who was waiting was deeply engrossed in a book. One led her husband up to the window and gently pushing him toward the window made a fairly loud comment to sign in there with a hand motion. She turned around and mouthed the words “He can’t hear a thing!” to others waiting for their turn in the audiology department. Others pointed directions, walked beside their spouse, gently holding onto hands and guiding their backs.

Yesterday was Memorial Day, a day to remember those who gave all in battle. The heroes that wrote checks to this country with their lives.

As I sat watching and thinking, it occurred to me what military spouses have given. In our youth we waited through deployments. We learned how to maintain vehicles, fix lawn mowers, fix wobbly doors. We were the ones to kill spiders, bugs, and chase off snakes. We were Mommy and Daddy. We kept moving through exhaustion and wrote letters at night that didn’t mention that part of life. We had to think of morale. Our deployed husbands didn’t need to hear of half a problem solved, they needed to know that things were under control. They needed to know the kids were well, the bills were paid, the car was running, the lawn was mowed. There was no e-mail. No video calls. No photos instantly sent.

The women at the V.A. today were in that group. We did without. We made do. We prayed for wisdom, we prayed for safety, we prayed for sanity. And today as I watched these incredible women, it occurred to me that we are still doing that. Supporting our men, watching them, waiting for them, being there. The toughest job in the military? The military spouse.

48 years, Thanks for the Memories

Published on by marycatherinethomas2 Comments

“Thanks for the memory Of sentimental verse, Nothing in my purse, And chuckles When the preacher said For better or for worse, How lovely it was. Thanks for the memory Of Schubert’s Serenade, Little things of jade And traffic jams
And anagrams And bills we never paid, How lovely it was. Thanks for the memory Of faults that you forgave, Of rainbows on a wave, And stockings in the basin When a fellow needs a shave, Thank you so much. Thanks for the memory Of cushions on the floor, Hash with Dinty Moore, ” Bob Hope (song)

In January of 1975, I said I do to so much I never expected. I was two weeks away from turning 20. Dale was already 20. We thought we were so mature and knew what we were doing. I look back now and laugh. We were kids.

This year we are where we spent our first eighteen months of marriage. The Virginia Beach area. It has grown so much in the intervening years. One of our homes is now a vacant lot, overgrown with weeds and looking small compared to the amount of apartments that once stood there. Our second apartment is long gone also, but now a beautiful beach home is where our rent by the month apartment once stood. It is now a beautiful area, not a run down bad part of town. I am certain none of the houses there have to worry that the pilot light in their heaters will be extinguished by blowing sand. Waking up to sand in the living room is just one of the memories of this area.

As a child, I always dreamed of marrying someone local and living in the south side of town in one of the Victorian homes that grace our city. I did marry someone local, my high school sweetheart. We have lived in apartments like I mentioned above, in a Japanese apartment that was very small, in multiple government quarters, and two homes that we have bought. I have always had a roof over my head. Life has been good.

Yes, there have been years where we went to dinner on this date and barely spoke a word to each other. There have been years where we have dressed up and dined with majestic views of the Pacific and the Atlantic. There have been years where he has been on the other side of the world and I sat at home wondering if he was okay and where he was currently.

Life has been good, and great. Marriage, I think is a series of upheavals and nothing. It is the mundane and the excitement. It is life.

I am so grateful to have spent this time with this man. He has made life interesting, entertaining and surprising. As I woke today in the same area where we first lived, I smiled to myself. One of my aunts gave us three months. I think we showed her.

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18 (NLT)