Tag: family

Another Year

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“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (NLT)

Each year (or at the end of December) I begin to look back and take stock of what has happened.

This is true for this year also, only this year, my thoughts have gone farther back. This week my thoughts have been occupied about this week fifty years ago. Yes, I know that seems like a very long time ago, and no, I was not a child. I was 19 (well, I guess I could have been considered a child).

Fifty years ago today Dale and I went to pick up a U-Haul truck that my Dad had to sign for us to rent. We picked it up and together my Dad and I talked to each other on the way home. It was really the last long conversation I had with him as a single lady.

Fifty years ago tomorrow was our rehearsal dinner. I jokingly asked Dale today if I should make a dinner tomorrow evening. It was a specific menu. He just looked at me and asked why I would do that. I reminded him that it was our rehearsal dinner meal.

Our fiftieth anniversary is Saturday. We woke up to a blizzard. Summer tires on his car. Snowballs thrown at us, accidents holding our band up, knee deep snow, so many stories and memories. One of my aunts gave us three months tops to be married. I guess we proved her wrong. This is a season of big celebrations. In November Dale turned 70. This Saturday we will be married 50 years, and in February I will join the 70’s club.

As I look back on what has seemed at times only a short time, I cannot believe we have gotten to this point. I don’t feel old. I don’t feel like we have been married 50 years.

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. Andre Maurois

On the whole, we have had a good life together. We have grown up together. We have had great seasons and hard seasons. Life goes by swiftly and at times it drags. I am thankful for what we have had. I am thankful for our Lord who has held us together and lifted us up many times.

I would say, may we have another 50 years together, but I really can’t see either of us hanging on that long!

So, here is to our life together, 12 homes, lived in 12 different cities, two children, 6 dogs, 3 hamsters, 1 guinea pig, several gold fish, and our neighbor’s cat that lives at our house. 2 son in laws that are loved like sons, 2 grandchildren, 2 bonus grandchildren and 3 bonus great grandchildren. Not a bad life at all. Happy Anniversary Dale!

Purpose

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I am in the middle of doing a Bible study. It’s just a three week study, nothing major, especially from me.

The first week focused on prayer. This weeks’ theme will be purpose. The reason things were/are done.

As I went to sleep last night this scripture came into my mind. It’s not one I often think of. “Precious in the sight of the Lord Is the death of His saints.” Psalm 116:15 (NKJ)

I pondered on it a few minutes and fell asleep.

This morning as I was half awake and thinking I had slept the morning away, my phone rang. It was our pastor. He called to tell me that a dear friend of ours had a heart attack and he was on the way to the emergency room. We got up and dressed and decided to stay put until we heard more information.

More information came quickly. Our friend moved to Heaven this morning. Trying to define the words to describe the emotions we have fail me. Mostly I am concerned for his wife and daughters and granddaughters. I wasn’t going to write anything as writing usually garners remarks to me and that is not my desire or purpose.

Purpose, there’s that word again. A few minutes ago, I asked God what the purpose was. This was too abrupt, too shocking. I wanted answers. Personally, I cannot wait to move to Heaven.

There, in the deep part of my being, I was assured that our friend’s purpose was completed. He had fought the good fight, he had stood his ground with the enemy of our souls. Most of all, He has loved the Lord our God with his whole being. He served our God with joy, laughter, integrity, and warmth.

So many lives have been touched by him. He always made me laugh. His laughter was contagious. Now he is laughing with our Lord.

I am now challenged to serve my purpose here with as much joy as he did. Please, pray for this family.

Going at the Speed of Life

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“A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.” John 10:10 (MSG)

Last week Dale and I went over to Gatlinburg, TN. We both needed a get away time and it proved to be just what we needed. We didn’t do a lot of the touristy things, except for browsing in the shops, which is always relaxing to me.

One day we drove to an area called Cades Cove. We spent most of the day driving through the area. The Smoky Mountains are gorgeous in this area. I started to take pictures, in which I usually fail majorly. I had the idea to take a close up photo of the area right outside my window.

This was supposed to be a great picture of part of a fence and as you can see, it’s just a blur.

I was about to delete this when I hesitated. It was like I heard, “Isn’t this like your life? You quickly drive by and miss the details.” Ouch! True, but ouch!

I kept the photo and I started to think about the picture and my life and the way I view it.

Today I was looking through old pictures. Most of ours are in boxes and in no particular order. But, as I looked at the pictures, some faded from time, some blurry (I wonder who took those?) and all of them jogging memories of places and people and seasons of my life.

I surprised myself at knowing when (not the date) they were taken. I remembered birthday parties at our favorite Italian restaurant when the kids were small. There were plenty of pictures of tents and camping. Some pictures Dale would have a sweatshirt on and then I would see the same sweatshirt on me. Throughout, the pictures of our daughters, babies, prom pictures, smiling, goofing off and glaring at the camera. There were a great deal of all emotions from them.

I have had a great life. We have lived several places, and in a different country. I have had experiences I never dreamed of growing up in Oil City, PA. Life has been good. Life has gone by quickly.

I have thought about going at the speed of life. Looking at memories, I see that for most of it, even though I was right there, it’s a blur.

This one is clear. The mountains fade into a mist. Behind that mist are more mountains. They remain in place even though they are not visible. The same is true of the memories of life. They are a constant in my memory. They are not always visible, but they remain hidden by a mist of life.

I will keep taking pictures. Some will turn out and some will be blurry. But, I have a feeling that now, instead of harshly critiquing my skill and deleting, I will remember that I tend to speed by my life and miss out on details.

My Saturday

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“Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.” Romans 13:1 (NLT)

I woke up this morning with a list repeating itself in my mind. I have a physical list also on the couch with a few things crossed off.

The list is things that I want to be done before Tuesday of this week. We have a friend arriving for a two week visit and like most people we are taking this opportunity to get things we have put off, done.

Tuesday is also election day here. I get excited about election days. I am weird like that. I study and make certain I know how I am going to vote. After I cast my vote, I am like a kid with getting my “I voted sticker.”

But, back to my day. I woke up this morning and I sat down for my quiet time. I always pray before my quiet time and today was no different, except my prayer. I asked the Lord that my eyes would see what He wanted me to see, and not just my physical eyes, but my spiritual ones too. I didn’t think much more about it and read the second chapter of I John.

After coffee and quiet time I began to get ready to clean our carpets. I picked up all the things on the floor, putting them on the couch or chairs or tables. It’s a mess. Our kitchen looks like a disaster happened. The floors are filthy because we have a white floor in our kitchen. It is the bane of my existence. It has rained all week long and since we live rural, well, you get the idea. My floor is desperate for a good scrubbing. I have waited since we are cleaning the carpets, the floor is going to get more stuff on it today.

All of the above I’m doing while still in my pajamas. Ever have one of those days where you putter around the house in jammies?

After getting much accomplished and ready for the carpet cleaning, the doorbell rang. It was the side door where close friends and family come in. It is also where packages get delivered. I went to answer it since I figured it was the mail person dropping off a package.

As I got to the door I looked and saw that it was our State Representative, Travis Moore. Remember the pajamas I am still in? Tuesday is election day? House looks so messy, like we never clean? And, there, at my door, is the man seeking reelection. I recognized his face before I read his shirt that had his name on it. As I heard Dale and myself welcome him into our house, I was stunned that this was happening.

He spent a good half hour talking with us. He gave us time to ask and address issues. I was at peace and felt like I could have hugged him. But, pajamas, dirty house…

As we ate lunch after the visit, Dale and I talked about things we should have done. We should have asked how we could help him. We should have prayed for him. We talked about what we could have done, but didn’t.

As the minutes passed I remembered my prayer this morning. That I would see, that I would hear, and that I would act on those things.

Authority comes from the Lord. We need to respect those in authority, and yes, sometimes I struggle with this.

I had an object lesson today. An important one for me. As gracious as this candidate was with us. He didn’t look around and decide not to talk with us, or talk down to us. He listened, he explained, he talked with us, not at us. In this same way, of acceptance our Lord comes to us.

When our lives are a mess. When our hearts are cluttered and dirty. When we are in need of a cleansing, our Lord is there at the ready to accept us, to cleanse us from our filth. He waits to be invited in.

This also reminded me that someday our Lord is going to knock on our door, are we going to welcome Him in just as we are? Or, will we say, “just a minute, let me change my clothing, let me clean my house?” Great object lesson today Representative Moore, you thought you were just canvassing, didn’t you?

Women at the V.A.

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Today I went with Dale for a couple appointments he had at the V.A.. It’s always an interesting time when we go.

Usually, I watch the veterans. Mostly men, older, although many young men are also there. I heard a few conversations between these men. One was talking about his Ranger training and as I turned to see who was talking, an older man limping down the hallway was doing the talking. To hear the stories and see the men is something that touches my heart deeply.

Today, though, my focus went to the wives. They accompanied their husbands. One who was waiting was deeply engrossed in a book. One led her husband up to the window and gently pushing him toward the window made a fairly loud comment to sign in there with a hand motion. She turned around and mouthed the words “He can’t hear a thing!” to others waiting for their turn in the audiology department. Others pointed directions, walked beside their spouse, gently holding onto hands and guiding their backs.

Yesterday was Memorial Day, a day to remember those who gave all in battle. The heroes that wrote checks to this country with their lives.

As I sat watching and thinking, it occurred to me what military spouses have given. In our youth we waited through deployments. We learned how to maintain vehicles, fix lawn mowers, fix wobbly doors. We were the ones to kill spiders, bugs, and chase off snakes. We were Mommy and Daddy. We kept moving through exhaustion and wrote letters at night that didn’t mention that part of life. We had to think of morale. Our deployed husbands didn’t need to hear of half a problem solved, they needed to know that things were under control. They needed to know the kids were well, the bills were paid, the car was running, the lawn was mowed. There was no e-mail. No video calls. No photos instantly sent.

The women at the V.A. today were in that group. We did without. We made do. We prayed for wisdom, we prayed for safety, we prayed for sanity. And today as I watched these incredible women, it occurred to me that we are still doing that. Supporting our men, watching them, waiting for them, being there. The toughest job in the military? The military spouse.

A Whole Bunch of Stupid

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“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” Psalm 16:11 (NLT)

47 years ago today, my husband and I accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior. The best decision we have ever made. Our lives were immediately changed for the positive. Old habits went to the side as we learned to walk in our new faith. Each year this day brings memories and reflections with it.

Yesterday I had an initial appointment for physical therapy. The therapist asked a bunch of questions about my aches and pains and why I thought I had them. She had me do some exercises and she felt my back to feel the differences in it.

She asked how I broke my back. I explained that 23 years ago I went sledding with my youngest daughter and her friend, they were both high school seniors at the time. We were all sharing a single round saucer and the run was great! That is, of course until I sped off one boulder covered in ice and slammed into a big boulder covered in ice. The result was a compression fracture of my lower back.

She then asked if I had had anything happen recently to cause my back to act up. The only thing I could think of was when I fell and broke my elbow two years ago. I explained the fall and how it was an epic fall, me flying through the air and landing with a thud. She was laughing along with me and asked about other injuries.

I mentioned that I had broken my other elbow years ago when I tripped over my pant-leg and fell into the street. I mentioned how Dale does not allow me to walk and chew gum anymore.

The appointment was filled with laughter as I sheepishly gave a litany of my “stupid” acts.

Today while I was driving into the store (it’s a good 20-30 minute drive), I was thinking about yesterday and also today. It occurred to me that at my age I have experienced a whole lot of stupid. A. Whole. Lot. Of. Stupid.

Each day we all do thoughtless things. Or, maybe it is just me. (Yikes!) Things like stubbing your toe on a piece of furniture that hasn’t moved in years. Using a wet potholder on a pan in the oven. Heat travels fast! Slicing yourself while slicing a vegetable. Just stupid little things that in the greater scheme of life don’t matter.

As I thought about all the stupid that I have experienced it occurred to me that through this all I have been protected by my Creator. We hear of guardian angels, well, I think I have gone through several. Psalm 91 talks of the protection the Lord gives us. He is my refuge, my shelter. He will rescue me from traps and disease. When I gave my life to Him, when I made Him my shelter, He will make certain no evil or plague will come near my home, He has given angels charge over me to hold me in their hands.

I have tried the Lord in all of this. I have smooshed angels as I fell on them (see examples above). Like any child I tend to do stupid things. Not disobedient, just thoughtless. If God the Father had gray hair, I would say a lot has come from me. Each time my stupidity comes to light, or to a thump, the Lord has been with me. He has comforted me, healed me and allowed the experiences to give me stories. Stories that make me laugh, make others laugh.

Life is full of wonderful adventures. For 47 years I have had joy, even on the hardest days. I have had hope during dark days. I have been loved by God even as He must be rolling His perfect eyes at my antics. This is just a preview of what I will experience when I can finally see Jesus face to face. When He hands me a saucer and suggests going sledding. (Will there be snow in Heaven?)

Life is filled with a whole lot of stupid, but it is also filled with joy, laughter, peace, hope, and above all love. 47 years ago the dread, the anger, the hopelessness of my young life left me. That is when the Creator of the universe took up residence in my heart, making me new and reborn.

A Short Story… Snippets and Memories

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“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you;” Isaiah 66:13a

The pink acrylic alarm clock sat beside the bed she shared with her sister. It was her favorite with the edges around the face of the clock. She would sit and hold it, rubbing her fingers in the indentations.

She knew it was about to go off as she slowly moved from dreaming to wakefulness. In the background she could hear noise, she knew she must still be sleeping.

The alarm went off. Reaching for the clock, she felt someone pick it up to turn it off. Her older sister was gently setting it back down. She quietly said, “Just go back to sleep. There is no school today.” At this time, their youngest sister stirred and sat up.

Her older sister went to the top of the stairs and said, “Dad, they’re awake.”

The next few minutes were life altering. Confused, the girl sat up as their Dad said, “Mom died last night. You won’t be going to school this week.” Her younger sister started crying. I sat there, confused. I probably was crying, but I don’t remember. I do remember thinking it wasn’t a very funny joke to tell us.

As I sat there, the surroundings became clear. It was still a bit dark, it was fall. The lights from the kitchen seemed so bright. The voices, I wasn’t dreaming. I heard familiar voices of aunts and uncles. I had had a feeling that this day was approaching for the past month, although I never said anything. I was afraid to ask the question for fear that I might get the dreaded answer. That morning, reality slammed into our lives. Day One of not having a mother.

Life changed. That week we went to our Aunt’s house. We roamed around the house while she busied herself in the kitchen. We played with our cousin’s pom poms from high school. She was newly married and it all seemed so romantic to me. We gazed at our cousin’s basketball trophies. He was my favorite. He made me laugh.

We spent another day with another aunt. She let us make chocolate chip cookies. We didn’t add the salt to the recipe and she knew it right away. I never add salt now without thinking about her.

The funeral home was always packed. So many people leaning down to either pat our heads or shed a tear while we were there. We were bored. How many times can you nod your head while someone tells you they are sorry for your loss?

I was 11. That in between stage. I had teenage style of dresses, but could only wear ankle socks. It was humiliating to me. Classmates came into the funeral home. They would stand and stare, not sure what to do or say. I learned the art of small talk that week. I dislike small talk.

The day of the funeral was dark and drizzling. It was like being in a living dream. Motions happened, we went through them, behaving exactly like we were told. As we left, an older aunt lost her underwear and left them on the floor of the church. How bizarre that was and we still laugh about that.

The wake (we’re Irish) was a release for all who were there. Uncles handed us money, “Go to the store, get some ice cream for yourselves.” The neighborhood store must have done a record business as I recall getting back to the house only to have another uncle put money into a cousin’s hand with an order to go to the store and have fun.

Time moved at a snail’s pace but also it flew by. Family left and we girls learned to adjust. Some days in the beginning were okay, others not so good. My older sister was a rock, she guided and kept my younger sister and I moving. We three girls raised ourselves as best as we could. We are survivors.

I don’t know why this all came flooding back to me tonight, but I needed to write about it. The days of no Mother have been a lifetime. Snippets and memories sometimes rush in like a high tide. Other times the memories are still. Above all, though, I am grateful for my sisters. I am grateful for our Dad who was thrust into single parenthood in a time where wives did the bulk of raising the kids.

Life is interesting. Growing up it was normal for us. Normal is different for each person. God has a plan and a purpose for us. The snippets and memories have shaped me according to God’s plan for my life.

Old Photos

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“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous— Psalm 139:13-14 (NLT)

Tomorrow I am starting to teach a Bible Study on God Knows… I am going to reference this scripture. First of all, anytime I teach, my mind goes to the future and I see myself in front of the Lord. We are seeing my life and He stops the reel when I am teaching. The scenario in my mind is, He stops the reel, looks at me and asks, “What were you thinking?” This is said incredulously .

I usually pray a lot during those times!

In preparation for tomorrow, I was looking through old pictures. I mean the old black and white with the curly edges on the photos.

I smiled at many of them and just stared at others. The ones I stared at were of myself. There are two options about my pictures of growing up.

1. I was a dorky kid.

2. My parents had a warped sense of humor in taking pictures.

Personally, I think it is a combination of both. My poses were either with my head tilted to such a degree that it looked like a random head resting on a shoulder. And, yes, I still tilt my head like that, although with age, it’s just a head tilt.

My other poses are just as random. Legs and feet firmly planted on the ground almost looking like a gorilla standing upright, making faces , eyes crossed and tongue out. Some, though, are attempts at being a girl with minor manners. How I ever got a date in high school is beyond me! Must have been the Lord.

I can be very critical of myself as I think most of us are. In the end, though, we need to remember that we were carefully and lovingly created by a God who loves us. He created us, dorkiness and all.

Looking through the photos today brought back memories, good and bad. I could smell the air in the background. I can remember the fun. Time continues on and snapshots of our life will come to us at different times. We will remember parents, uncles, aunts, siblings, cousins. Echoes of the past linger deep within us. Memories are a scrapbook of our lives.

Today I Saw a Crocus

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“Even the wilderness and desert will be glad in those days.  The wasteland will rejoice and blossom with spring crocuses.” Isaiah 35:1 (NLT)

It has been a while since I last wrote. I have had some ideas for posts, but have not written, and as is usual, discouragement has begun to set in. 

January was a long, yet quick month for me. Our oldest had another surgery and Dale and I had the privilege to be with her family. Time flies by with a nine year old around. It was a wonderfully exhausting time spent with her. 

During our time there, Dale and I celebrated our 49th anniversary. We have spent three anniversaries in that area, our first, our 48th and our 49th. Obviously, it was a time of reflection for me. The city has changed drastically since we were first married, dirt roads are now paved busy highways. The sky scape is filled with homes, high rises, and buildings. 

Seeing the city’s growth reflected my thoughts on our marriage. When we lived in the Tidewater area, we had many rough and dirt roads in our life together. We also have seen growth together. Much of our life together has been filled with reconstruction, and paving of our ways. We have been torn down like the apartments we lived in 49 years ago. We have had to restart and renew and ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness. Our life is now like the gentrified areas of the town we started out in. We have been given a fresh start and have grown to welcome and be comfortable with each other. As I looked at Dale at our anniversary dinner, I saw glimpses of the young sailor I fell in love with, but, I also saw my life, my heart.

As February came and we arrived home, I knew that there was a feeling of something deep in me. Yes, I miss my daughter and her family. I miss the noise and activity of our granddaughter. But, there was something missing.

As I walked to get our mail, a spot of yellow caught my eye. Our crocuses are blooming. Out of the cold and dormant earth, these little flowers break through. A reminder that spring is right around the corner. A little hope in a drab and dreary winter landscape, pushing past the dead leaves surrounding them.

Writing is what gives me joy. When I don’t write discouragement happens. I know I am not the best writer in the world, but it is what feeds me in a way I don’t find elsewhere. It is where I hear my Savior’s voice and encouragement. It’s where I feel His presence. 

As I walked toward our mailbox, I prayed. So many thoughts rambled through my mind, so many prayers of gratitude for this past month echoed again as they have throughout January. God is good. He is faithful. Today, He gave me words to write and a tangible sign of hope and strength. There is nothing like seeing a crocus in the middle of winter. 

What I Did on My Summer Vacation (part 1)

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“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 1:27 (NLT)

At the end of July, Dale and I traveled to VA Beach to our oldest daughter’s home. A few days later all of us piled into a vehicle and headed north.

A day later, we arrived at our destination, Winter Harbor, Maine. For the next week we resided in an old Navy housing area. Looking up beyond the housing area, we could see the back of the home we lived in during the early 80’s. Across the street were the former homes of friends from our time there.

Winter Harbor did not disappoint. It was as welcoming as it was decades ago. Many changes have happened, but all of them good changes.

Memories walked beside me, holding onto my hands and heart. They sang songs to me of past joy. The rugged coastline, solid and firm, spoke to me of the long lasting experiences that helped shape me into who I am today.

The cries of the gulls echoed the voice of our granddaughter as she searched for shells and climbed the rocks. The coastal roses, sweet in fragrance always caught her attention as she would stop, smell and pick one, just to keep.

Visiting with a woman, who, as a teen babysat our oldest daughter made the time there complete for me. I have often told the Lord that if I could touch at least one life in a lasting way, I would feel like I have accomplished something. Her hugs and our conversation confirmed that although her life has touched mine deeply, mine had touched hers also. We wanted to see many more people, but time, and their lives didn’t work out to see them. I carried them in my heart and remembered them at each turn.

We were stationed in Winter Harbor two years after being saved. Our relationship with our Lord was new, young. We were excited and anxious to do something, anything for him. Walking the streets again renewed that desire for me. It was coming home to me.

Winter Harbor anchored itself in me. We have lived many places in our life. Each has their own kind of special, but none compare to the hold this coastal city has on me. As we drove into town my heart leapt in me. The vistas called my name and welcomed me home.

We have been back several times, but only for a day, maybe two. A week there and I felt the roots of my life there start to take hold of me, urging me to stay. But, as my favorite poem by Robert Frost says, “The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep,” The coast is rugged and draws me to it, but, as the poem states, I have promises to keep.

So, with fresh memories made, and a tummy full of lobster and mussels and scallops, we packed up richer in spirit, and came home.