Tag: Faith

That Time I Prayed for a Squirrel

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“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV)

Eleven days ago we experienced Hurricane Helene. Although our damage didn’t come close to what our neighbors in North Carolina endured, our area was still hit hard.

As I always do whenever there is a major event in my life, I ask the Lord what I was supposed to learn from this time. Each time I ask this, I am reminded of the time I prayed for a squirrel.

Early Friday morning, September 27th, we were awakened by the alarm that meant our internet had gone out. Seconds later we realized our power was out also.

We got up and opened our curtains to see a life size version of what you watch on the weather channel. The winds, the rain, the trees blowing in all directions. There were only two things missing that I thought of, first Jim Cantore from the weather channel and secondly I thought of the movie, Wizard of Oz. I did not see the old woman riding her bicycle in the wind with Toto in her basket.

Dale and I were fascinated by the magnificent display of power outside our windows, as we moved from window to window watching what we could in the little light of day.

At one point, I looked out our guest room window to see a squirrel climbing to the cupola on top of our gazebo. The poor little guy was holding on for dear life. His little head lifted and his bushy tail struggling to keep his balance. I could see where he was heading and I prayed for this little guy. Something else caught my attention for a second and when I looked again the squirrel’s head was down as was his tail. I knew he was exhausted. Again I prayed. Seconds later I looked again and he was gone. I don’t know if he blew to the next county or if he was safe. My heart broke at that point.

Now, I think the occasional squirrel is cute. Our yard is a playground for squirrels, and so my affection for them has diminished over the years. But this guy made a big impression on my heart.

As we have begun to get trees off of where they didn’t belong(our house), and pick up and rake the debris, I have pondered how I behaved and fared over the past weeks.

I am a middle child and I have a very strong tendency to please people. I confess, I am a people pleaser. I have continued to do this since the 27th of September. When I have stopped and thought about the events, the Lord always brings to mind that squirrel.

He was alone. He was determined to do what he needed to do. He fought until he couldn’t anymore. He was an isolated animal in the midst of a hurricane.

After the storm everyone was isolated. No power, no lights, no modern conveniences. I found myself trying to make everyone happy. Trying to people please. Saturday after 9 days of no power we had our electric restored. I was sitting on my couch taking a breather from raking. The bright ceiling lights in our living room came on with the fans running. Stunned, I stared at them for a few seconds before realizing we had power. I went to tell Dale that we had power. He smiled and the man who was operating the machinery that was working on removing trees against our house was almost as happy as I was. He had had his power restored the previous day so he understood.

Now, back to the squirrel. He got caught in the storm without his home, (unless of course his house was in one of the downed trees). He probably had his family squeaking at him to stay put. Maybe he was looking for safety for his family. Maybe this squirrel was a squirrel pleaser. But, he was fighting the storm alone.

Often times we each fight storms alone. We do it for a number of reasons. It needs to be done! I can do this myself! or even, I need to do this because no one else is supporting me. The feeling of isolation and being unsupported can happen quickly. When I feel like I am not doing enough or pleasing those closest to me I begin to feel alone and unloved.

I have often seen those memes that say, “Be kind to others for you don’t know what they are dealing with.” I try very hard to be aware of what others may be going through, sometimes though my focus is on them and not on me.

Helene brought out a lot of feelings, emotions, fears, worry, insecurities, lack of faith in all of us that have been touched by her not so gentle touch to our town. As it is going to take weeks and months to move beyond this time, lessons learned will begin to be made known to us.

I know I will remember that time I prayed for a squirrel and continue to ask God what that lesson was for me. Remember those who were affected and lost everything in your prayers.

Late Bloomers

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“Let us know, Let us pursue the knowledge of the Lord. His going forth is established as the morning; He will come to us like the rain, Like the latter and former rain to the earth.” Hosea 6:3 (NKJV)

Several years ago my oldest daughter and I had a conversation. It was one of those that stick out all these years later. She was in her early twenties and had decided that college wasn’t where she wanted to be. At first, as parents, we thought this was a bad decision. But as we talked about it, we realized she was right. She had taken the courses she wanted to and at that point, all that were available to her. The conversation we had is one that many people have either with themselves or with people important to them.

The conversation was really about what I want to do when I grow up. At almost 70, I can say I still wonder about this.

That Christmas I found a book to give her, it was about those famous people in the world who did their best work in the middle and senior years of their lives. A fascinating and encouragement to those of us who haven’t yet achieved what the Lord has purposed for our lives.

This morning, as I walked and talked with the Lord, the rain was starting to spit (you know, a drop here, a drop there, not really a sprinkle yet) and I remembered that we were officially in the season of fall.

I looked at the leaves that have already begun to fall. I smiled as I thought that in a few weeks our driveway will be hidden under the abundance of leaves that have fallen.

We have a bush that grows straight up each year. The stems are thin and the leaves are huge on this bush. At the top of these spindly stems are blossoms. It will be another two weeks before they bloom into bright pink flowers. They fascinate me. As I walked towards them, I thought of late bloomers.

In my reverie, I glanced down to a weed that has been in my driveway (we have a gravel driveway). I have stepped on this weed several times, never bothering to just pull it out. About to put my foot down on it, I stopped. At the top of the weed were little white flowers. Again, a late bloomer.

Sometimes late bloomers don’t make a brilliant splash in lives. They are tiny, and easily overlooked. They may be out of focus (like my pictures) and insignificant. But, the Lord of all creation purposes each living creation with a specific task in life.

Like the earth with the early and late rains in our seasons, we each are watered and have growth in our lives. Our growth is different. Our blooms are different. Yes, the tall bush with the brilliant flowers draw the eye to them and it’s fun to see a spring color in the midst of falling leaves. I think of it like the last hurrah! A plant rebelling against the oncoming cold and frost. This little weed is just as significant though. It has grown up through the gravel and moss. It’s strength is incredible. It’s endurance has known no end. It produced it’s flowers, it bloomed.

What an encouragement to all of us late bloomers. Hold on through the hard times and the encroaching cold. The Lord has planted deep within you a purpose that will bloom if we can receive the former rain and the latter rain from our Creator. Take heart.

Is That A Splinter In Your Eye?

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“You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things.” Romans 2:1 (NLT)

Who of us has not been judged before? We all have, either for good reason or just because.

Who of us have judged? In my mind’s ear, I don’t hear many confessing that they have played the part of judge.

I confess that I have been on both sides of the above questions. Yes, I have been judged. Sometimes I have needed it and sometimes it has been harsh. Yes, I have accepted the judgement and justified that I rose above the judgement and forgave and repented. But, have I really?

Forgiveness of others is a journey. You say the words, “I’m sorry” or “Please forgive me” and even better, “I forgive you.” easily. But, the road of forgiveness is sometimes long and bumpy. Because, as humans we remember.

Along that bumpy road of forgiveness there is judgement. Even if we boast of being kind, gracious and Christian, judgement lurks right behind the veneer.

My opinion is that judging others is a two way street. You are judged for the splinter in our eyes. We remove it, and walk away. But as we walk, we pick up the log that goes into our eyes. What may have been a splinter that was called out becomes a log as we remember the initial issue, the shock of being called out, and the hurt caused. Soon it becomes evident that we have begun to dwell on other’s splinters.

Women, I think, are very prone to this issue. Men hold things in boxes in their minds. Something happens, it is resolved and then locked away in a box in their minds. Issue is dealt with and resolved, end of story. Women, on the other hand cannot do this. It is said that women have spaghetti brains. Everything that has happened in their lives touches everything that is currently happening. It’s a jumbled mess. Of course, women also are quick to love and quick to comfort for the most part.

Personally, I have been judged for my house, my cleaning routine, my hair, my makeup, my children. You name it and I can relate. I have also had my faith, my prayer life, my actions judged. The bulk of it done by “Christians” of which I myself live within those quotation marks.

Paul urged the Roman church to watch the judging. I am part of hearing that urging. Honestly, I think we can all fall under the need of that urging.

 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Matthew 7:1-5 (NLT)

I really have no answers to this issue. I am still working and walking through this life. All I know is when you truly focus on Bible reading, you can become uncomfortable. Words you have read thousands of time hit you with sharp edges. How you perceive yourself changes.

I have always thought of myself as a kind, gracious and sometimes funny person. Yes, I have my glaring blemishes that all can see. Even deeper, I know inside me. I know those feelings like shivers that run up your spine at times. Those ‘judgement’ issues. Each human has them. The key word being human.

Since I wrote this, will I immediately conquer these problems? No. But, I am aware of them with a more magnified lens. Judgement comes easy. Holding on to judgement is even easier. Judging others is a sin that can easily lead to a hardness of heart. That is not what I want for my life.

This season of life, this time of this year is quickly approaching. The next few months judging others is going to come swiftly. We will all have our ‘feelings’ hurt because someone will disagree with us. This happens every four years. We can become so involved in becoming hurt that we do not realize how quickly we are judging.

This has been a ramble of words, I know. But these scriptures have been in my mind. I want to meld them into my heart. I want to be able to stand before our Creator sometime in the future and see Him smile as He sees that I became aware of my judging ways and with His help and guidance I conquered the nagging and easy to fall into problem of judging.

I have asked the Lord to help me with this. I carry judgement in my heart, I think this is human. It is also resulting from hurt accumulated. If we were each honest with ourselves, the stories could be similar.

“Share each others burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2 (NLT)

Daybreak

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“Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it… Yet.” (Lucy Maude Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables)

Tomorrow always (for me) begins at daybreak. The sun rises and it is like the earth is covered in hope. The shadows of the night are erased and the world awakens.

Daybreak brings hope, promise and a renewed presence of God in our lives. He shines forth, allowing our eyes to focus on our surroundings. We are never promised tomorrow, but each day is like a gift that unwraps itself with the dawning of the sun.

The past week I have had a dear friend visiting. She is retired now and is about to venture into a new life. A new adventure. She is moving here. I am grateful to our Lord for this gift to me.

I often think of the Girl Scout song, “Make new friends, but keep the old. Some are silver, some are gold.” These words have followed me for a very long time. Golden friends take a while for their patina to become evident in your life. At first, they are the new friends. Soon they are the old friends. Eventually they show their shine in a silvery way and then that patina is gold. Such is this friend moving here.

Change happens throughout our lives. Each season of change is a challenge. This week I have been reminded that roads are now familiar to me. It wasn’t long ago that I looked out the car window like she has this week. Everything is strange. The difference from the metropolitan area of San Diego to the quiet of upstate South Carolina is vast. I have watched and remembered when I was where she is now. Excitement mixed with a longing. Knowing a change is needed but questioning if this drastic of a change is where the Lord is leading her.

How often in our lives does our Lord bring us to a cross road? We tend to go the direction we have gone for years. We know the ruts. We know the dips and bumps. We know what to avoid. There is comfort in the known.

Sometimes the Lord, at those crossroads puts up a road block. Un-passable. We can’t continue the way we have always gone. We look at the other side and think how strange it is. Sort of like those fairy tales where the heroine ventures down the path where we know the big, bad wolf is waiting.

But God… He knows that it may be strange, different, scary, but He also knows the other path is an adventure. A tomorrow with no mistakes.

When God is in charge of our plans, the daybreaks bring joy. Hope. Promise of fresh starts, new adventures, His plan for our lives.

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

My Saturday

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“Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.” Romans 13:1 (NLT)

I woke up this morning with a list repeating itself in my mind. I have a physical list also on the couch with a few things crossed off.

The list is things that I want to be done before Tuesday of this week. We have a friend arriving for a two week visit and like most people we are taking this opportunity to get things we have put off, done.

Tuesday is also election day here. I get excited about election days. I am weird like that. I study and make certain I know how I am going to vote. After I cast my vote, I am like a kid with getting my “I voted sticker.”

But, back to my day. I woke up this morning and I sat down for my quiet time. I always pray before my quiet time and today was no different, except my prayer. I asked the Lord that my eyes would see what He wanted me to see, and not just my physical eyes, but my spiritual ones too. I didn’t think much more about it and read the second chapter of I John.

After coffee and quiet time I began to get ready to clean our carpets. I picked up all the things on the floor, putting them on the couch or chairs or tables. It’s a mess. Our kitchen looks like a disaster happened. The floors are filthy because we have a white floor in our kitchen. It is the bane of my existence. It has rained all week long and since we live rural, well, you get the idea. My floor is desperate for a good scrubbing. I have waited since we are cleaning the carpets, the floor is going to get more stuff on it today.

All of the above I’m doing while still in my pajamas. Ever have one of those days where you putter around the house in jammies?

After getting much accomplished and ready for the carpet cleaning, the doorbell rang. It was the side door where close friends and family come in. It is also where packages get delivered. I went to answer it since I figured it was the mail person dropping off a package.

As I got to the door I looked and saw that it was our State Representative, Travis Moore. Remember the pajamas I am still in? Tuesday is election day? House looks so messy, like we never clean? And, there, at my door, is the man seeking reelection. I recognized his face before I read his shirt that had his name on it. As I heard Dale and myself welcome him into our house, I was stunned that this was happening.

He spent a good half hour talking with us. He gave us time to ask and address issues. I was at peace and felt like I could have hugged him. But, pajamas, dirty house…

As we ate lunch after the visit, Dale and I talked about things we should have done. We should have asked how we could help him. We should have prayed for him. We talked about what we could have done, but didn’t.

As the minutes passed I remembered my prayer this morning. That I would see, that I would hear, and that I would act on those things.

Authority comes from the Lord. We need to respect those in authority, and yes, sometimes I struggle with this.

I had an object lesson today. An important one for me. As gracious as this candidate was with us. He didn’t look around and decide not to talk with us, or talk down to us. He listened, he explained, he talked with us, not at us. In this same way, of acceptance our Lord comes to us.

When our lives are a mess. When our hearts are cluttered and dirty. When we are in need of a cleansing, our Lord is there at the ready to accept us, to cleanse us from our filth. He waits to be invited in.

This also reminded me that someday our Lord is going to knock on our door, are we going to welcome Him in just as we are? Or, will we say, “just a minute, let me change my clothing, let me clean my house?” Great object lesson today Representative Moore, you thought you were just canvassing, didn’t you?

A Child Who Needs Snuggles

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“2 And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 21:2-4 (NLT)

I read this verse today and a couple of things came to my mind.

The first thought I had was me clinging onto God (at least the image I have in my mind). I was wrapped in His arms and breathing deeply. I was snug and secure and I knew if /when I am in that position, I truly will want to stay there forever.

That thought was followed by a second thought, a memory, actually. I remember being young and following my Mom around. I was so close to her that if she stopped, I would run into her, or I would get bumped on my forehead by her elbow. In the echoes of my mind, I could remember her saying to me, “For God’s sake, Cathi, give me some room.” Actually, I would hear her say this several times a day, and I was that clingy child.

Fast forward many years and I had a child that would follow closely to me. I remember bumping her forehead with my elbow. Immediately, I laughed. I knew the Lord had answered my Mother’s prayer of me having a child like myself. I loved the closeness of that child to me, how she would snuggle.

As is usual for me, my mind trailed off as I thought of all of this. For those who make God their Savior and Lord, He is the One we run to. The One we can follow closely. The One whom we can run into upon a sudden stop. He longs for us to be that clingy child. He wants us to climb into His lap for a snuggle so deep and long that our hearts calm, our tears are wiped away and we are comforted and at peace.

As we spend time with Him throughout our day, praying, reading or worshiping Him, we can experience those snuggles. But, I cannot wait to experience this fully. When He calls me home and I can run to Him, jump into Him like my grandchildren do when they see me. And finally and forever have my tears wiped away for good. What a perfect day that will be.

A Whole Bunch of Stupid

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“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” Psalm 16:11 (NLT)

47 years ago today, my husband and I accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior. The best decision we have ever made. Our lives were immediately changed for the positive. Old habits went to the side as we learned to walk in our new faith. Each year this day brings memories and reflections with it.

Yesterday I had an initial appointment for physical therapy. The therapist asked a bunch of questions about my aches and pains and why I thought I had them. She had me do some exercises and she felt my back to feel the differences in it.

She asked how I broke my back. I explained that 23 years ago I went sledding with my youngest daughter and her friend, they were both high school seniors at the time. We were all sharing a single round saucer and the run was great! That is, of course until I sped off one boulder covered in ice and slammed into a big boulder covered in ice. The result was a compression fracture of my lower back.

She then asked if I had had anything happen recently to cause my back to act up. The only thing I could think of was when I fell and broke my elbow two years ago. I explained the fall and how it was an epic fall, me flying through the air and landing with a thud. She was laughing along with me and asked about other injuries.

I mentioned that I had broken my other elbow years ago when I tripped over my pant-leg and fell into the street. I mentioned how Dale does not allow me to walk and chew gum anymore.

The appointment was filled with laughter as I sheepishly gave a litany of my “stupid” acts.

Today while I was driving into the store (it’s a good 20-30 minute drive), I was thinking about yesterday and also today. It occurred to me that at my age I have experienced a whole lot of stupid. A. Whole. Lot. Of. Stupid.

Each day we all do thoughtless things. Or, maybe it is just me. (Yikes!) Things like stubbing your toe on a piece of furniture that hasn’t moved in years. Using a wet potholder on a pan in the oven. Heat travels fast! Slicing yourself while slicing a vegetable. Just stupid little things that in the greater scheme of life don’t matter.

As I thought about all the stupid that I have experienced it occurred to me that through this all I have been protected by my Creator. We hear of guardian angels, well, I think I have gone through several. Psalm 91 talks of the protection the Lord gives us. He is my refuge, my shelter. He will rescue me from traps and disease. When I gave my life to Him, when I made Him my shelter, He will make certain no evil or plague will come near my home, He has given angels charge over me to hold me in their hands.

I have tried the Lord in all of this. I have smooshed angels as I fell on them (see examples above). Like any child I tend to do stupid things. Not disobedient, just thoughtless. If God the Father had gray hair, I would say a lot has come from me. Each time my stupidity comes to light, or to a thump, the Lord has been with me. He has comforted me, healed me and allowed the experiences to give me stories. Stories that make me laugh, make others laugh.

Life is full of wonderful adventures. For 47 years I have had joy, even on the hardest days. I have had hope during dark days. I have been loved by God even as He must be rolling His perfect eyes at my antics. This is just a preview of what I will experience when I can finally see Jesus face to face. When He hands me a saucer and suggests going sledding. (Will there be snow in Heaven?)

Life is filled with a whole lot of stupid, but it is also filled with joy, laughter, peace, hope, and above all love. 47 years ago the dread, the anger, the hopelessness of my young life left me. That is when the Creator of the universe took up residence in my heart, making me new and reborn.

Winter Sunset

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“The light shines in the darkness,  and the darkness can never extinguish it.” (John 1:5, NLT)

There is a time each winter day when the sun sets over our woods. The woods close up to the house have started to look gloomy and dark for the night hours. 

The sun, however shows it’s glory in a bright burst before saying good night. It lights up the trees in the distance with a glow that takes my breath away each time I see it. 

Towards the end of the day, when tiredness is creeping in and my sighs become more frequent I look at the woods and feel a darkness come on me. It’s not ominous, it is just the end of the day. The feeling that my pajamas are calling out to me and the idea of toast and tea for dinner somehow seems like the perfect end of the day. 

Then my eyes go upward and I see the brilliant light of the sun reflected in the distance. The light that reminds me that behind each dark cloud there is a brilliant hope for tomorrow. The hope that we find in Christ. The hope that all of my darkness and weariness and sighs can be resolved sitting at the feet of my Lord, where the light can never be extinguished. 

Now, I am ready to fix dinner.

Pathway

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“Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” Ecclesiastes 11:5 (NLT)

I have long been fascinated by pathways. I find when I travel I take several pictures of a path that I see. As I am a nature coward, I rarely go onto the path. I fear snakes, bees, ticks, and anything else that may be lurking in the area. Because of this, I know I miss out on seeing things that the Lord created.

When we drive I look out the passenger’s window and think of how the area looked long ago. I wonder if the boys and men in the Civil War were surprised by the swamps and alligators. I imagine the fear and wonder that must have grasped the British during the Revolutionary War. My mind never really stops.

This past week I have thought of paths from long ago. I have questioned if I was headed in the right direction. I pondered pathways.

Often I will revert into my mind and overthink things. This is not a good thing to do for any length of time. I can get lost in my reverie.

Yesterday I watched a video that talked about Lot’s wife. Genesis 19:17,”When they were safely out of the city, one of the angels ordered, “Run for your lives! And don’t look back or stop anywhere in the valley! Escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away!” (NLT)

One would think an angel telling you this would be enough to cause total obedience. But, no, Genesis 19:26, “But Lot’s wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt.” (NLT)

I realize I can be like Lot’s wife. I can look back to earlier times, easier times (although time has eased memories to make it appear easier) and yearn to be back there.

There was a point in our life where we made a decision. We have followed through with that decision. The past couple of weeks I have questioned that decision. Last evening, the Lord, ever faithful and true shook me out of myself.

Pathways are great to look at, dream, ponder and wonder. But, God wants us to keep moving forward. So, forward I go. I will place our vacation and time in Maine into the scrapbook in my heart. I will pull it out to remember and smile. I will then close it and return to the path I am on.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation (part 2) “The Trajectory of a Life”

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“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8 (NLT)

Forty two years ago we left Winter Harbor.

We left this home. A home of a young family, Mom, Dad, Daughter. In this home we had much laughter and tears. This home is where we were overjoyed to find out we were having a second child. Months later, we lost that child.

This home was filled with teens from our youth group, The Harbor Lights. It was comprised of Navy kids and town kids. They would pile into our living room, most of them on the floor, and always crowded with very little room to walk between them. Each Sunday night it was the same thing, put our daughter to bed, and wait for the kids, our kids. They would be boisterous, loud, talking all at once. They would also wait for hearing a bottle thrown from a crib onto the floor and then the sound of a two year old attempting to climb out of the crib, mostly landing with a thud and a cry. They would all jump up to get the baby and be told to sit down. They wanted to play with her, and I wanted her to sleep. They thought us grown and mature, we were only a few years apart actually.

When we drove away from this home, it was with the promise that we would return shortly. We drove off to California, thinking we would return for good in six years. That was where our heart was. This was the direction we thought we would go.

Life changes.

Going to Winter Harbor for our summer vacation I thought would just be an easy trip. Enjoy the scenery, the food, the people. Have some memories and relax.

I did all of the above, but something I wasn’t expecting happened. The easy trip was a beautiful one but the Lord had other plans for me.

Sitting in our little home we rented I looked across the street to a former home of a friend. Both are with the Lord now. Beside them the home of another couple. We talk often, but not as often as we should. We share what age is doing. How it is affecting us. Looking at their home I thought of the easy laughter we shared. The time her husband walked up the path between our homes (now overgrown and non existent) mooing at the cows grazing. I watched from my back door as he realized that there was also a bull present and a chase began. The bull sounding out and defending territory and this man running faster than I had seen a man run uphill.

Each turn in the road brought back memories. They danced with the thoughts, hopes and prayers of my younger self.

My heart stirred with echoes of prayers said so long ago while I questioned if my current life reflected the perfect will of God or if I was living the permissive will of God while He’s waited for me to catch up with what His plans truly are for me.

The questions still remain. The awesome thing about Winter Harbor is the presence of God. His majesty reflected in the coast, in the water, the rocks, the fog, the beauty. It all calls out to me. In the voice of the fog horns I hear the voice of my God. Calling out to me, guiding me in the clouds of my life.

Pensive reflection joined me on this trip. I thought of the trajectory of lives. Some remain steady, slowly gaining momentum. Some see a destination and fly to it, sharing the Lord as they go.

I have seen mine like the tides. It ebbs and flows. Always pounding the same heart, the same mind. I have wondered if my life is like the rocks on Schoodic Point, strong, present, barely showing signs of erosion, or if my life is like the bay where pluff mud is visible and noticed by the smelly scent.

I have often said that I left part of my heart in Maine. What I didn’t realize the part I left was so much of my heart.

I know we will never live there permanently, but I am so very blessed to have been able to live there for a season. A season when I grew to know my Lord in a stronger way. A time when I was taught the majesty and splendor of the Living God. A place where waves crash loudly on rock, the fog moves quickly and hovers it’s dense blanket on the homes and shores. A place that yells the glory and might of God and yet, He comes into my heart quietly there and whispers to me. He urges me and nudges me to draw closer to Him. He welcomes me back home there, and then continues on this journey with me.