Category: Prayer

Is That A Splinter In Your Eye?

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“You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things.” Romans 2:1 (NLT)

Who of us has not been judged before? We all have, either for good reason or just because.

Who of us have judged? In my mind’s ear, I don’t hear many confessing that they have played the part of judge.

I confess that I have been on both sides of the above questions. Yes, I have been judged. Sometimes I have needed it and sometimes it has been harsh. Yes, I have accepted the judgement and justified that I rose above the judgement and forgave and repented. But, have I really?

Forgiveness of others is a journey. You say the words, “I’m sorry” or “Please forgive me” and even better, “I forgive you.” easily. But, the road of forgiveness is sometimes long and bumpy. Because, as humans we remember.

Along that bumpy road of forgiveness there is judgement. Even if we boast of being kind, gracious and Christian, judgement lurks right behind the veneer.

My opinion is that judging others is a two way street. You are judged for the splinter in our eyes. We remove it, and walk away. But as we walk, we pick up the log that goes into our eyes. What may have been a splinter that was called out becomes a log as we remember the initial issue, the shock of being called out, and the hurt caused. Soon it becomes evident that we have begun to dwell on other’s splinters.

Women, I think, are very prone to this issue. Men hold things in boxes in their minds. Something happens, it is resolved and then locked away in a box in their minds. Issue is dealt with and resolved, end of story. Women, on the other hand cannot do this. It is said that women have spaghetti brains. Everything that has happened in their lives touches everything that is currently happening. It’s a jumbled mess. Of course, women also are quick to love and quick to comfort for the most part.

Personally, I have been judged for my house, my cleaning routine, my hair, my makeup, my children. You name it and I can relate. I have also had my faith, my prayer life, my actions judged. The bulk of it done by “Christians” of which I myself live within those quotation marks.

Paul urged the Roman church to watch the judging. I am part of hearing that urging. Honestly, I think we can all fall under the need of that urging.

 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Matthew 7:1-5 (NLT)

I really have no answers to this issue. I am still working and walking through this life. All I know is when you truly focus on Bible reading, you can become uncomfortable. Words you have read thousands of time hit you with sharp edges. How you perceive yourself changes.

I have always thought of myself as a kind, gracious and sometimes funny person. Yes, I have my glaring blemishes that all can see. Even deeper, I know inside me. I know those feelings like shivers that run up your spine at times. Those ‘judgement’ issues. Each human has them. The key word being human.

Since I wrote this, will I immediately conquer these problems? No. But, I am aware of them with a more magnified lens. Judgement comes easy. Holding on to judgement is even easier. Judging others is a sin that can easily lead to a hardness of heart. That is not what I want for my life.

This season of life, this time of this year is quickly approaching. The next few months judging others is going to come swiftly. We will all have our ‘feelings’ hurt because someone will disagree with us. This happens every four years. We can become so involved in becoming hurt that we do not realize how quickly we are judging.

This has been a ramble of words, I know. But these scriptures have been in my mind. I want to meld them into my heart. I want to be able to stand before our Creator sometime in the future and see Him smile as He sees that I became aware of my judging ways and with His help and guidance I conquered the nagging and easy to fall into problem of judging.

I have asked the Lord to help me with this. I carry judgement in my heart, I think this is human. It is also resulting from hurt accumulated. If we were each honest with ourselves, the stories could be similar.

“Share each others burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2 (NLT)

My Saturday

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“Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.” Romans 13:1 (NLT)

I woke up this morning with a list repeating itself in my mind. I have a physical list also on the couch with a few things crossed off.

The list is things that I want to be done before Tuesday of this week. We have a friend arriving for a two week visit and like most people we are taking this opportunity to get things we have put off, done.

Tuesday is also election day here. I get excited about election days. I am weird like that. I study and make certain I know how I am going to vote. After I cast my vote, I am like a kid with getting my “I voted sticker.”

But, back to my day. I woke up this morning and I sat down for my quiet time. I always pray before my quiet time and today was no different, except my prayer. I asked the Lord that my eyes would see what He wanted me to see, and not just my physical eyes, but my spiritual ones too. I didn’t think much more about it and read the second chapter of I John.

After coffee and quiet time I began to get ready to clean our carpets. I picked up all the things on the floor, putting them on the couch or chairs or tables. It’s a mess. Our kitchen looks like a disaster happened. The floors are filthy because we have a white floor in our kitchen. It is the bane of my existence. It has rained all week long and since we live rural, well, you get the idea. My floor is desperate for a good scrubbing. I have waited since we are cleaning the carpets, the floor is going to get more stuff on it today.

All of the above I’m doing while still in my pajamas. Ever have one of those days where you putter around the house in jammies?

After getting much accomplished and ready for the carpet cleaning, the doorbell rang. It was the side door where close friends and family come in. It is also where packages get delivered. I went to answer it since I figured it was the mail person dropping off a package.

As I got to the door I looked and saw that it was our State Representative, Travis Moore. Remember the pajamas I am still in? Tuesday is election day? House looks so messy, like we never clean? And, there, at my door, is the man seeking reelection. I recognized his face before I read his shirt that had his name on it. As I heard Dale and myself welcome him into our house, I was stunned that this was happening.

He spent a good half hour talking with us. He gave us time to ask and address issues. I was at peace and felt like I could have hugged him. But, pajamas, dirty house…

As we ate lunch after the visit, Dale and I talked about things we should have done. We should have asked how we could help him. We should have prayed for him. We talked about what we could have done, but didn’t.

As the minutes passed I remembered my prayer this morning. That I would see, that I would hear, and that I would act on those things.

Authority comes from the Lord. We need to respect those in authority, and yes, sometimes I struggle with this.

I had an object lesson today. An important one for me. As gracious as this candidate was with us. He didn’t look around and decide not to talk with us, or talk down to us. He listened, he explained, he talked with us, not at us. In this same way, of acceptance our Lord comes to us.

When our lives are a mess. When our hearts are cluttered and dirty. When we are in need of a cleansing, our Lord is there at the ready to accept us, to cleanse us from our filth. He waits to be invited in.

This also reminded me that someday our Lord is going to knock on our door, are we going to welcome Him in just as we are? Or, will we say, “just a minute, let me change my clothing, let me clean my house?” Great object lesson today Representative Moore, you thought you were just canvassing, didn’t you?

A Child Who Needs Snuggles

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“2 And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 21:2-4 (NLT)

I read this verse today and a couple of things came to my mind.

The first thought I had was me clinging onto God (at least the image I have in my mind). I was wrapped in His arms and breathing deeply. I was snug and secure and I knew if /when I am in that position, I truly will want to stay there forever.

That thought was followed by a second thought, a memory, actually. I remember being young and following my Mom around. I was so close to her that if she stopped, I would run into her, or I would get bumped on my forehead by her elbow. In the echoes of my mind, I could remember her saying to me, “For God’s sake, Cathi, give me some room.” Actually, I would hear her say this several times a day, and I was that clingy child.

Fast forward many years and I had a child that would follow closely to me. I remember bumping her forehead with my elbow. Immediately, I laughed. I knew the Lord had answered my Mother’s prayer of me having a child like myself. I loved the closeness of that child to me, how she would snuggle.

As is usual for me, my mind trailed off as I thought of all of this. For those who make God their Savior and Lord, He is the One we run to. The One we can follow closely. The One whom we can run into upon a sudden stop. He longs for us to be that clingy child. He wants us to climb into His lap for a snuggle so deep and long that our hearts calm, our tears are wiped away and we are comforted and at peace.

As we spend time with Him throughout our day, praying, reading or worshiping Him, we can experience those snuggles. But, I cannot wait to experience this fully. When He calls me home and I can run to Him, jump into Him like my grandchildren do when they see me. And finally and forever have my tears wiped away for good. What a perfect day that will be.

Women at the V.A.

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Today I went with Dale for a couple appointments he had at the V.A.. It’s always an interesting time when we go.

Usually, I watch the veterans. Mostly men, older, although many young men are also there. I heard a few conversations between these men. One was talking about his Ranger training and as I turned to see who was talking, an older man limping down the hallway was doing the talking. To hear the stories and see the men is something that touches my heart deeply.

Today, though, my focus went to the wives. They accompanied their husbands. One who was waiting was deeply engrossed in a book. One led her husband up to the window and gently pushing him toward the window made a fairly loud comment to sign in there with a hand motion. She turned around and mouthed the words “He can’t hear a thing!” to others waiting for their turn in the audiology department. Others pointed directions, walked beside their spouse, gently holding onto hands and guiding their backs.

Yesterday was Memorial Day, a day to remember those who gave all in battle. The heroes that wrote checks to this country with their lives.

As I sat watching and thinking, it occurred to me what military spouses have given. In our youth we waited through deployments. We learned how to maintain vehicles, fix lawn mowers, fix wobbly doors. We were the ones to kill spiders, bugs, and chase off snakes. We were Mommy and Daddy. We kept moving through exhaustion and wrote letters at night that didn’t mention that part of life. We had to think of morale. Our deployed husbands didn’t need to hear of half a problem solved, they needed to know that things were under control. They needed to know the kids were well, the bills were paid, the car was running, the lawn was mowed. There was no e-mail. No video calls. No photos instantly sent.

The women at the V.A. today were in that group. We did without. We made do. We prayed for wisdom, we prayed for safety, we prayed for sanity. And today as I watched these incredible women, it occurred to me that we are still doing that. Supporting our men, watching them, waiting for them, being there. The toughest job in the military? The military spouse.

A Whole Bunch of Stupid

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“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” Psalm 16:11 (NLT)

47 years ago today, my husband and I accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior. The best decision we have ever made. Our lives were immediately changed for the positive. Old habits went to the side as we learned to walk in our new faith. Each year this day brings memories and reflections with it.

Yesterday I had an initial appointment for physical therapy. The therapist asked a bunch of questions about my aches and pains and why I thought I had them. She had me do some exercises and she felt my back to feel the differences in it.

She asked how I broke my back. I explained that 23 years ago I went sledding with my youngest daughter and her friend, they were both high school seniors at the time. We were all sharing a single round saucer and the run was great! That is, of course until I sped off one boulder covered in ice and slammed into a big boulder covered in ice. The result was a compression fracture of my lower back.

She then asked if I had had anything happen recently to cause my back to act up. The only thing I could think of was when I fell and broke my elbow two years ago. I explained the fall and how it was an epic fall, me flying through the air and landing with a thud. She was laughing along with me and asked about other injuries.

I mentioned that I had broken my other elbow years ago when I tripped over my pant-leg and fell into the street. I mentioned how Dale does not allow me to walk and chew gum anymore.

The appointment was filled with laughter as I sheepishly gave a litany of my “stupid” acts.

Today while I was driving into the store (it’s a good 20-30 minute drive), I was thinking about yesterday and also today. It occurred to me that at my age I have experienced a whole lot of stupid. A. Whole. Lot. Of. Stupid.

Each day we all do thoughtless things. Or, maybe it is just me. (Yikes!) Things like stubbing your toe on a piece of furniture that hasn’t moved in years. Using a wet potholder on a pan in the oven. Heat travels fast! Slicing yourself while slicing a vegetable. Just stupid little things that in the greater scheme of life don’t matter.

As I thought about all the stupid that I have experienced it occurred to me that through this all I have been protected by my Creator. We hear of guardian angels, well, I think I have gone through several. Psalm 91 talks of the protection the Lord gives us. He is my refuge, my shelter. He will rescue me from traps and disease. When I gave my life to Him, when I made Him my shelter, He will make certain no evil or plague will come near my home, He has given angels charge over me to hold me in their hands.

I have tried the Lord in all of this. I have smooshed angels as I fell on them (see examples above). Like any child I tend to do stupid things. Not disobedient, just thoughtless. If God the Father had gray hair, I would say a lot has come from me. Each time my stupidity comes to light, or to a thump, the Lord has been with me. He has comforted me, healed me and allowed the experiences to give me stories. Stories that make me laugh, make others laugh.

Life is full of wonderful adventures. For 47 years I have had joy, even on the hardest days. I have had hope during dark days. I have been loved by God even as He must be rolling His perfect eyes at my antics. This is just a preview of what I will experience when I can finally see Jesus face to face. When He hands me a saucer and suggests going sledding. (Will there be snow in Heaven?)

Life is filled with a whole lot of stupid, but it is also filled with joy, laughter, peace, hope, and above all love. 47 years ago the dread, the anger, the hopelessness of my young life left me. That is when the Creator of the universe took up residence in my heart, making me new and reborn.

Today I Saw a Crocus

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“Even the wilderness and desert will be glad in those days.  The wasteland will rejoice and blossom with spring crocuses.” Isaiah 35:1 (NLT)

It has been a while since I last wrote. I have had some ideas for posts, but have not written, and as is usual, discouragement has begun to set in. 

January was a long, yet quick month for me. Our oldest had another surgery and Dale and I had the privilege to be with her family. Time flies by with a nine year old around. It was a wonderfully exhausting time spent with her. 

During our time there, Dale and I celebrated our 49th anniversary. We have spent three anniversaries in that area, our first, our 48th and our 49th. Obviously, it was a time of reflection for me. The city has changed drastically since we were first married, dirt roads are now paved busy highways. The sky scape is filled with homes, high rises, and buildings. 

Seeing the city’s growth reflected my thoughts on our marriage. When we lived in the Tidewater area, we had many rough and dirt roads in our life together. We also have seen growth together. Much of our life together has been filled with reconstruction, and paving of our ways. We have been torn down like the apartments we lived in 49 years ago. We have had to restart and renew and ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness. Our life is now like the gentrified areas of the town we started out in. We have been given a fresh start and have grown to welcome and be comfortable with each other. As I looked at Dale at our anniversary dinner, I saw glimpses of the young sailor I fell in love with, but, I also saw my life, my heart.

As February came and we arrived home, I knew that there was a feeling of something deep in me. Yes, I miss my daughter and her family. I miss the noise and activity of our granddaughter. But, there was something missing.

As I walked to get our mail, a spot of yellow caught my eye. Our crocuses are blooming. Out of the cold and dormant earth, these little flowers break through. A reminder that spring is right around the corner. A little hope in a drab and dreary winter landscape, pushing past the dead leaves surrounding them.

Writing is what gives me joy. When I don’t write discouragement happens. I know I am not the best writer in the world, but it is what feeds me in a way I don’t find elsewhere. It is where I hear my Savior’s voice and encouragement. It’s where I feel His presence. 

As I walked toward our mailbox, I prayed. So many thoughts rambled through my mind, so many prayers of gratitude for this past month echoed again as they have throughout January. God is good. He is faithful. Today, He gave me words to write and a tangible sign of hope and strength. There is nothing like seeing a crocus in the middle of winter. 

One More Time

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 “pray without ceasing” I Thessalonians 5:17 (NKJV)

Before going to bed last night I read a meme a friend posted. Of course, now I don’t remember who posted it, so I will not be giving full credit where it is due.

The meme talked about praying just one more time. It gave a list of things to pray for just one more time. Health, salvation, finances, new jobs, family, children, relationships, friendships, grief, all the things one tends to pray for.

The past couple of nights I have not been able to sleep. As I lie in bed my mind wanders in all directions. I tend to pray for all of the above things in between making my grocery list and wondering where that piece of paper I need is.

A few minutes ago, before getting up to write this, I remembered another part of that meme I mentioned above. The part that said, pray just one more time, like your life depended upon it.

While we may not think our life depends on praying for finances or new jobs, or any of the other things listed, in reality, it does. Our lives are intertwined with our family, our friends our church. Each person truly is a part of me/you.

We each have had those times where you just want to be prayed for in a mighty way. We want to hear the words spoken over us that will give us encouragement, hope and bolster our faith. Someone’s need for restitution in relationships, or someone’s financial needs my not be a matter of life and death to us, but for those who are walking through those times, it feels like life or death.

The enemy of our souls will distract us with grocery lists, or schedules, or meal planning, but we are told to pray without ceasing. I have been challenged by what I read last night.

I may not do this right, but I am determined to make the effort to pray like my life depends on it. I am also going to pray one more time. Galatians 6:9 says, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” (NLT)

There are somethings that I have prayed for years and yes, I have gotten discouraged at not seeing answers the way I want them to be. But, if we pray just one more time, it may be the right time where we will see the answer.

Psalm 121

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

3 He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
8 The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore. (NKJV)

I Don’t Understand

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“Then a dispute arose among them as to which of them would be greatest. 47 And Jesus, perceiving the thought of their heart, took a little child and set him by Him, 48 and said to them, “Whoever receives this little child in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me. For he who is least among you all will be great.” Luke 9: 46-48 (NKJV)

I became a born-again Christian in 1977. 46 years ago. Almost a half century ago.

When I was first saved, I devoured the Bible, read it and tried to absorb all I could. Having never read the Bible before I basically underlined the entire Bible. I didn’t understand most of it, but I was still excited. I thought as I grew as a Christian, I would totally understand each word and be able to dissect it with precision.

We go to a church that preaches the Word of God with truth and power. We are blessed to be in this church. We recently began a study on Heaven. Our pastor is gleaning from the book by Randy Alcorn, “Heaven“. The study has challenged thoughts I have carried about Heaven and has excited me at the same time. It’s excellent.

The Ladies of our church have been having a Bible Study at the same time on the 7 churches in Revelation. Our teacher is someone who studies and can present deep topics with grace and ability. I sit amazed and try to absorb all I can while she teaches.

Late this past summer, I talked to the Lord and asked Him to help me grow closer to Him and to learn more from Him. I felt inadequate in my walk with the Lord. I want more. I desire to walk so close to Him that with each breath I am being led and hearing all I can from Him. I guess this Mary (me) is desiring to be Mary who sat at the feet of Jesus.

In this time, I have begun to think that I am like a child in faith still. A child will ask it’s parent, “what does that mean?” Most of the times, after getting an answer they will walk or run back to what they are doing. They may understand or they may not. I have seen looks on my grandchildren’s faces after asking a question. Sometimes it’s satisfaction and sometimes, it’s filled with more questions.

Lately, I am the latter. I have derided myself. Why am I not understanding? Why am I questioning?

Matthew 18:3, ” And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (NIV)

I have read this scripture many times. I have heard sermons and teachings on child-like faith. I have always in my mind wondered about this verse. Like Nicodemus, I ponder. Yes, I am born again, I get that part, but how do I return to be a child, to have faith like theirs?

This morning, as I read the Bible (and yes, basically underlining each sentence) it occurred to me that my prayers to have that child like ability have been answered. I am reading, listening, and questioning. I pray that I keep running, like a little child to question what I have just heard and run to my Heavenly Father and ask what it means. After almost 50 years, I have begun to be a child.

Those We Grow Up With

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“I could never love anyone as I love my sisters.” —Little Women film adaptation (1994)

I am a middle child of three. My sisters and I raised one another. It was our life and it was our normal. We have wonderful memories of the years we grew up together.

Yes we fought as sisters do. We laughed and were silly at times. We had inside jokes that we can still recall. We would sneak each other’s clothes, make-up and sometimes shoes.

My younger sister and I would play with the ‘grown up ‘ things of our older sister, her long gloves, her eye shadows. We looked at her prom dresses.

I married in 1975 and moved away. I missed decades with my sisters. Life with them was long distanced. I couldn’t do much at all. Snail mail was our only connection, except on weekends when rates were cheaper for long distance calls.

Email, text messages, cell phones have changed that. It’s wonderful. We all live apart from one another. Different states in different parts of the country is not how we dreamed it would be. We thought we would marry and live on the southside of our town, within walking distance. I often wonder how that would have been.

There are conversations we have where you feel a part of what they are doing. When my younger sister is walking her dog, I have done that with her, both physically and while we are talking on the phone. Those times as she says she is in the car heading home, I almost want to say, well, what should we do for dinner? It seems so natural to continue.

Last night I had such a conversation. The kind where you go beyond relaying news and weather. The kind of conversation where you want to keep talking into the still hours of the night. Talking about everything under the sun and nothing at all.

As I climbed into bed last night I thanked God for the blessing of my sisters. I know they are always there and would do anything for each of us at the drop of a pin. But there are times when although the knowledge is there, a hunger for a hug and a squeeze is what is needed.

Psalm 139:13 says,”For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.” (NKJV) This is one of my favorite scriptures. It reminds me that our Lord knows me intimately. As He formed me in my mother’s womb, He formed my sisters. He knows them intimately and He created us and put us together as family. His plan for us as sisters is still going on. Time, distance, life separates us, but the bond of being sisters is so much greater than all of that.

I am a middle child. I am blessed to be between two precious women. Thank you Jesus.

Sigh…

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to take a deep audible breath (as in weariness or relief) ~ Merriam and Webster definition.

Sigh. We all do it. I am married to someone who sighs all the time. I have a difficult time trying to figure out what the sigh means, is he sore? Is he frustrated? Is he angry? Is it just a sigh? It is a running commentary most of the time for us. His response usually is it is a cleansing breath.

This morning I read Mark 8:12, “But He sighed deeply in His spirit, and said, “Why does this generation seek a sign? Assuredly, I say to you, no sign shall be given to this generation.” (NKJV)

After reading this, my thought was, “huh, Jesus sighed too”. I then wondered how many times he sighed while on this earth. Most likely a multitude of times! He probably still sighs.

Yesterday while I was coming in from town, I received a text, it was one I was looking forward to. Fortunately, I hit a red light so I was able to read it. I immediately started loudly thanking God and praising Him for the information in this text. I was alone, so I could be as loud as I wanted to be. My oldest had had a successful surgery.

After praising God for a minute or two, I sighed. It was a memorable sigh for me. I sighed and a weight was lifted off of me. A season of life was now in the past. Tears filled my eyes and I had to remind myself that I was behind the wheel, so tears were stopped and I drove the rest of the way home.

A sigh. An action of a four letter word that encompasses so many things. Yesterday it signaled relief, a weight lifted, prayers answered, a season over for the most part.

Life is filled with sighs. Yesterday the sigh was joyful. Today it may mean something entirely different. I keep thinking of a saying popular in years past, What would Jesus do? I read it today, He sighed. Thank you Jesus, yesterday I did what You would do.