Category: family

Our First Christmas

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“31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Ephesians 5:31 (NLT)

Forty seven years ago, Dale and I were preparing for our first Christmas together as a married couple. We were in our first apartment and preparing to move into our second apartment on the 26th of December. Emotions were high as we had just received orders for Yokosuka, Japan the following April.

I think Dale started buying me things in early November, and he could not wait to give them to me. Each night coming home from work, he would meet me at the door and excitedly tell me of something he’d bought. He would be anxious to give it to me and before I could take off my shoes, he would be bringing an unwrapped gift to me.

He was so cute and I had to urge him to keep something for me to actually open on Christmas day.

I was no better. That year I got him a race track, complete with a stick shifter, and bank curve. It was huge.

I did wait though, for the actual day to give it to him.

I had dreams of us picking out our first tree together, but, he was able to go to a section of the base where he cut down our first tree. It was a huge Charlie Brown tree. With our one string of lights and one package of ornaments,it was very bare. The dollar angel we had hidden at a store until payday so we could buy it, perched precariously on the top branch.

But, after it was decorated, we thought it was the most beautiful tree ever.

Christmas day came and we were like kids on that day. At the end of the day, the presents were all in boxes, the tree was down and outside on the curb. The next day we put everything into our new apartment and left for a late celebration of Christmas with our families.

The first Christmas with just the two of us passed quickly. Little did we know that it would be our last Christmas actually spent in our hometown. Neither did we realize how special that Christmas was for us. Being newlyweds, we were still in the glow of youth, and marriage that was not difficult. We were carefree, and looking forward to all the possibilities of what the future held for us.

Forty seven years later, we are older (obviously), and we show the bumps and bruises of life. We think fondly on all our past Christmases. Some very festive and full of gifts and laughter, some a bit leaner, some with just I.O.U.’s under the tree. What was consistent on Christmas was the celebration of the birth of our Lord. He was with us through each and every Christmas, the full, the lean, and the empty.

His love was what has held us together, sometimes only His love. Christmas is a time for reflection. The ornaments we hang each have a story. The decorations could tell stories if they could talk.

Each corner of each room hold memories, Christmas and throughout the years. As I sit writing this, so many memories of Christmases past race through my mind. The time has passed much quicker than I thought possible. Each Christmas has been the most beautiful, most wonderful, they blend together. In each thought, though, is the glue that has made Christmas wonderful, my family. The same silly stories, the jokes, the laughter over memories, the smiles over gifts, the ahh’s of favorite candy given. The excitement over stockings. All of those harmonizing together and threading through each memory.

Thank You Lord for the precious gift of You, and the reason for this season.

Our First Carolina Christmas

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“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14 (NKJV)

Thirteen years ago we moved to South Carolina. After many years we were by ourselves for Christmas. It was as strange reality for us. We knew our girls were grown, one married, the other busy traveling for her job. But, it was the first time that the term ’empty nesters’ hit us hard.

We ordered Christmas gifts for our daughters, and sent them. We were still trying to find a church home. We had tried a few churches and none seemed to fit right. We were a bit homesick for our routine we had in San Diego, we missed our daughters and it felt strange.

Christmas Eve we decided we would try another church. We went to the old town part of the city where we lived. It was a quaint church. It has a storied history, built originally in 1699, it has seen the Revolutionary War and the Civil War. It is a fascinating place and upon entering the building, you could feel the history in it.

Sitting down in a very crowded church, the balcony filled, the sanctuary filled, we felt like we were with family. Young couples holding onto toddlers dressed in Christmas finery, and wrestling with them to keep still and quiet. What we didn’t know was that this was the children’s service. The lights dimmed and the children took over, walking down the aisle and singing as only children can.

I sat crying through the whole service, remembering when our girls would sing like this, fidgeting with make-shift halo’s and wings, giving looks to shepherds who were acting like boys do.

Although it was not the church we ended up attending, that night, the Lord gave us a taste of family and home. The echoes of the past sang along with the children and as we left, we felt a bit more in love with our new home state.

As I remembered this today, my eyes once more filled with tears. This time of gratitude.

“God sets the solitary in families;” Psalm 68:6 a (NKJV)

Reminders of Dedication

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” 27 I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request. 28 Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life.” And they<sup data-fn="#fen-NLT-7217a" class="footnote" data-link="[<a href="#fen-NLT-7217a" title="See footnote a">a worshiped the Lord there.” I Samuel 1:27-28 (NLT)

Having children was a deep desire in Dale’s and my life. The doctors disagreed, nodding their heads and saying it might not be possible. I knew that God was greater than anything that “might not be possible”.

I can remember reading the book of Samuel and praying for this experience. We dedicated our daughters to the Lord. We brought them to our pastors before they were a year old and we gave their lives to God, knowing that He is indeed capable of leading and guiding them.

There is a quote by Alfred Lord Tennyson that says, “God gives us Love, something to love, God lends us.”

I have carried this quote in my heart most of my adult life. We are only here for what could be a burp in eternity. Same with those we love. Life is a precious commodity.

The same is true with our children. We only have our children for a brief while. Then they do what we have both prayed for and dreaded, they go out and live their lives. They marry, they have children, they have their own set of joys and fears and problems.

As a parent we are proud of the accomplishments of our children. I personally know that I did not do much, but kept giving them to the Lord. Sometimes, I confess, I wanted to send them to the Lord, during sleepless nights of ear infections and teething. Sometimes when it was chaos to experience them navigating through middle school, and high school. By time college came, my prayers changed, I daily gave them to the Lord, reminding Him that they were His and problems that I may have noticed, I couldn’t take control of and fix.

Fix is what we do as parents when our children are young. They depend on it. We are fixers of toys, of ripped pieces of little paper, of skinned knees. We kiss away their tears, we bandage boo-boo’s, and we put heads back onto baby dolls. Fix is what we attempt when life starts to affect them. They still depend on it, although they begin to repair things on their own. We dry tears over rough days at high school, we dry tears over a break-up with a boyfriend, we comfort over a test that didn’t go well. By this point, we fix by spending a day of playing hooky from school, drinking cups of tea together, by going shopping. It doesn’t cure anything, but it re-centers them.

Both of our daughters are grown. They are in the ‘fixing’ business now. There are times, though, when a phone call comes and you know in your mother’s heart, there is a need. No longer do I need to ‘fix’ something, but I need to listen.These are the most trying times. These are the times when I go back to the Lord, and remember the time that I handed our daughters to our pastors and they prayed over them (and us) a prayer of dedication to our Lord. These are the times when, I remember the day of dedication for our oldest. It was Sunday, April 1st, and as I opened my eyes in the morning, I smiled as I thought of the day. It was the day our oldest was going to be dedicated. I heard in my heart, “Are you truly going to give her to Me, or is this an April Fool’s joke?” I answered and said to the Lord, out loud, “She is Yours’ “.

There are times when I have to be reminded that these beautiful women are the Lord’s. That is when, instead of hugging and wiping away tears and fears, I pray and ask the Lord to be there for them, giving them strength, courage, and wisdom.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

Hide and Seek

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“Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near.” Isaiah 55:6 (NKJV)

There is nothing like a good game of hide and seek, especially if you are good at hiding.

When Little Miss was in kindergarten, the schools were virtual. Once while visiting her, during that time frame, we watched as she struggled with a new situation in her young life. She was starting school, but still she was at home with snacks readily available and toys near by. It was an odd time.

When she had a lunch break which was for at least 45 minutes to an hour, she would eat her lunch and then we’d play hide and seek with her Mom. Grampy also joined in. It was a fun adventure in the middle of a peculiar day.

I loved it when I could hide. I am pretty good at hiding. Most of the time, Little Miss had to seek me for a bit. It was so much fun. Her Mom and I would talk later about hiding spots and the best times we had hidden ourselves.

This morning during my quiet time I thought of the game of hide and seek. It occurred to me that I often play the game with God. Sometimes I hide from Him, thinking that He won’t find me. I know that sounds ridiculous, as the One who created the universe and everyone in it, couldn’t readily find me.

But, like playing with a young child, you give them grace. Although they may be hiding in plain sight, you pass by them questioning where they may be. Eventually with giggles resounding they will reveal themselves.

How often are we like little children when we try to hide from God? The difference, though, is when we reveal ourselves it is with repentance and tears.

In the great scheme of things, when we grow distant from God, we think He is hiding. We wonder why we do not hear Him, we do not see Him in our daily lives. We question why the distance from Him is so great. Actually, God does not hide from us. We fail to see Him. He is daily visible, in the outdoors, in our family, in our friends. He gloriously reveals Himself in every aspect of our lives.

Psalm 9:10 says, “And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.” (NKJV)

The Balancing Act of Christmas

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“For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”Isaiah 9:6 (NKJV)

Christmas is for children. But it is for grown-ups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts. ~Lenora Mattingly Weber (1895–1971)

The pulling of the heart and conscience starts. The heart wants to decorate and fill the home with garland and festive balls and bulbs. Go shopping and buy things to wrap with beautiful ribbon and paper. But the heart also yearns to keep the celebration about the birthday of the Christ.

We place our manger scenes near the tree to remind us that Christmas is not just in baubles and bows. But does it truly work?

This week I begin to decorate. The past year the toy room has been a haven for seasonal decorations that have been tossed in and not properly put away. I keep telling myself it will make it easier to get things out. I also chide myself for being so lazy that I haven’t put stuff away properly.

Today one wreath was hung on our front door. Thanksgiving decorations lay on the end table waiting to be lugged upstairs. The battle has begun for me.

Just looking at this tires me out, yet another part of me is thrilled. Christmas can truly be a battle. Yet, it is one that I happily face each year.

As far as decorating, I both dread it and cannot wait for it. This year is no different. I know that the decorations do not make Christmas better, but to me, they are a reminder that we are celebrating the greatest gift ever given to man. We are preparing to remember His birth. I am reminded that His life gave us a precious gift of salvation, and no other gift can top that. But, we can give a gift to those we love as a gesture and commemoration of that gift.

I strive each day of December to be balanced in my celebration. Yes, I love those Christmas songs about reindeer and red noses, I love to hear about Grandma being run over by an errant reindeer, I remember wanting those two front teeth. These are all part of the month.

I also try not to scream humbug! as my feet tingle after a day of shopping. I do sing to my daughters after I have purchased the first gift of the season. Christmas is coming… the goose is getting fat… I half hope it annoys them and reminds them of me singing to them in the car picking them up at school.

Christmas is a battle of all things. Celebration, remembrance, times of grief, times of loneliness, times of worship, times of glee. It’s compounded into four weeks of whirlwind activity.

I hope this year to avoid a battle and take each day and fill it with balance. To be like the Grinch and have my heart grow three times larger, or like Scrooge and carry Christmas all year.

“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10b (NKJV)

The Creek

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Last Friday, Little Miss wanted to go on a nature walk. I went with her. As we walked out the door, she headed up the driveway and I said, “Let’s go through the woods.”

She gladly obliged, and talked and talked and talked and talked. It was glorious! Halfway down the hill, I asked if she could see the creek. She excitedly looked up at me and said, “You have a creek?” I had thought she would have remembered.

I then realized that I hadn’t been down to the creek in a couple of years, and she was carried on her Mom’s back the last time she was down.

The dull nature walk turned into an adventure for her. She was so excited to know her grandparents owned a place that had a creek running through the property. She was fascinated by the little water falls and the bigger ones that had been carved by the water running down through the woods. It opened a whole new door for her.

The next day she took down a ‘man’ she had made from twigs so that she could send him down the little water falls and off into the great creek unknown. Her Dad accompanied us, which I was thrilled about. He was able to really play in the creek with her, as I know I would have ended up in the water or slipping on a rock, landing face first looking at the creek rushing by me.

Once more I re-learned the lesson of seeing the world through a child’s eye. The world is an exciting place to be when we stop to remember and to look. My son in law and I began to reminisce about our creek adventures when we were kids. Standing at the edge of the water, talking , two different generations and watching the third generation experience similar times as we had.

Children are indeed a blessing. I remember watching the kids in my class in Japan. It was such a novelty to me to be in a foreign classroom, teaching my native tongue. In front of me were children. They would have the same antics I had seen and participated in as a student. They drew a picture of their sensei on the board, it was not flattering. They played football (or most likely soccer) with folded pieces of paper. They played the game with string, cat’s cradle, wrapping them around their fingers into different shapes, hoping to stump their game partner.

I was amazed that kids were kids all around the world. I once more saw that in my Little Miss as she played like her dad did, her mom did and her grandparents did.

Children teach in their lives. I have learned so much from the children in my life. I am grateful for the refresher I had this past week.

“13 Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19: 13-14 (NKJV)

Good, good Father

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“Father to the fatherless, defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
6 God places the lonely in families;” Psalm 68:5-6a (NLT)

Shortly after my Dad died, I saw this scripture and it ministered to me. My Dad was a good Dad. He had his faults, but, so do we all. I know that he did the best he could raising three daughters in an era that raising children was usually the Mom’s job. I often reflect on how he must have felt and what he faced mentally when he landed into the single parent household. But, my sisters and I not only survived, we flourished.

What this scripture spoke to me was that although my earthly father had passed away, I had a heavenly Father who was my father. He was there to talk with, to lean on, to rely on. His wisdom is unmatchable. His peace and comfort is limitless. He is God the Father and He is my Father.

Yesterday at church we sang Chris Tomlin’s song, Good,Good Father (click on the title for a listen). As I sang the words I was reminded of the above scripture. I thought of my Dad. Then I heard, “You saw an example of a good father this week.”

I did see an example of a good father this week. Little Miss was here and I watched daily the interaction between her and her Dad. My son-in-law loves his daughter(s) with an enduring love. He is strong when they need it. He is playful. He is stern when it is needed. He corrects at the right time also. Yes, he is not perfect, but none of us are.

What I saw was a man who is fully invested in Little Miss’ future. He is working out plans for her, allowing her to grow and experience things, sometimes the hard way, some times a bit easier. But he is consistent, steady and available.

When you think of it, he is showing an example of what our Heavenly Father is like. (Besides the imperfection part).

The Lord is a good, good Father. It is who He is. He is perfect in all ways. He has a plan for us. He has a future for us. He will never leave us, nor turn His back on us. His hands reach out to us for comfort, security, wisdom and yes, correction.

Most importantly, He loves us. He knows our name. He knows the number of hairs on our head, even those in the sink and in our hairbrushes. He is my good, good Father.

Thanksgiving Week The Aftermath

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The leftovers look old, even though they are not. The turkey is pieces sitting in a baggie, waiting to either be soup or a sandwich. The potatoes, stuffing, gravy are a bit diminished in size, but still something to deal with.

Our Thanksgiving that started just as Dale and I, became four with some church friends and miraculously became seven when we found out our oldest and her family were coming.

This house has been full of laughter and movement since Wednesday. It has been glorious. I have played video games and taken nature walks and snuggled. All of this much better than any meal could be.

Today nothing was accomplished. We ate some leftovers, we sat and watched movies and we ordered pizza. Somehow looking at leftovers once more was not appealing.

This Thanksgiving has been filled with so much, we have had our home filled with people we love. We have had snuggles. We have had our hearts refilled and refreshed. We are content.

“A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health.” Proverbs 15:30 (NLT)

Thanksgiving Week #2

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“Thank God for this gift too wonderful for words!” 2 Corinthians 9:15 (NLT)

My Little Miss came in Tuesday night. She is spending the weekend with us along with her parents. When you are a grandparent, seeing your grands is what it’s all about. I can be hugging and playing with Little Miss (Little Man also) for a half hour before I realize the child I brought into the world is standing there waiting for a hug.

I never thought that grandchildren would have as much impact on me as they do. Little Man was our first grandchild. He grasped onto my heart and has had a squeeze on it for the past 10 years. When I get to have time with him, it is like my heart continues to beat in a rhythm that I didn’t know was missing. Our eyes will meet and it is an instant call to be goofy together, much to the chagrin of his parents. But, goofiness is our love language, except when we can take a walk just the two of us. I love those times.

Little Miss is another story, she not only squeezes my heart, she takes a piece of it with her whenever we part, making certain that piece is covered in glitter and glue. Having raised two girls, I fall back into the pattern that little girls have. Their activity is like jumping on mattresses. You bounce different ways each time you land. It is full of giggles and nonsense and plans.

After Little Miss I was introduced to my bonus grands. Again, two girls. I carefully stepped into the relationships. I did not want to ruffle feathers and be a nuisance. After a couple years, I just barged in and claimed them as my own. To my surprise I was warmly welcomed and loved. With the bonus came bonus great grandchildren, a boy and a girl.

My heart is full. As I thought of my family today, I realized what a wonderful gift my loving Father in heaven has given me. My life is fuller and brighter. My prayer life tripled, but, as the Lord has guided and kept my daughters, I know He will be the loving and caring guide to the next generation.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect and remember what we are thankful for. Today, I am so grateful for this family the Lord has built around me.

Thanksgiving week

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“1 Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth! 2 Worship the Lord with gladness.
    Come before him, singing with joy. 3 Acknowledge that the Lord is God!
    He made us, and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture.” Psalm 100″1-3 (NLT)

Almost every morning Dale and I discuss what we want to accomplish during the day. Sometimes these plans clash, which is always good to know and rearrange if we need to.

This morning we both have a long list of things we’d like to see done. Our oldest and her family are traveling today to spend Thanksgiving with us.

My first task is an easy one, and I am doing it now. The past three weeks in church has reminded me over and over that I am supposed to write. I know that deep down inside me, but the constant battle is what do I have to say? Each day I remind myself that I, in and of myself, have nothing profound to say, but God. He can help me write and through Him, lives can be touched. That is my prayer and hope.

Holiday season comes upon us quickly and it is easy to look at the tsunami of things to do and buy and get completely overwhelmed. This week starts that tsunami.

The past few years I could look around my home at this time and see decorating all done, cards in a stack, ready for the mail, and some gifts already bought. This year, as has happened all this year, not so much.

Yes, the holidays can be fun. They can be rushed and hurried. I am moving slower this year. At first it bothered me, but, I am getting comfortable in my pace.

When I rush, the things I want to enjoy, the things I feel I need to do take the back seat in my life. I hurriedly rush through my advent devotional, thinking that I hope something sinks in and I will be able to truly focus on the meaning of the holidays.

So, today, as we start out getting ‘things’ done, I am thankful that we can still do things. I am thankful that we have each other. I am thankful that tasks need to be evaluated as to the importance of it. I am thankful for a slower me.

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever,  and his faithfulness continues to each generation.” Psalm 100:4-5 (NLT)