Grey Skies

Looking out my windows after being gone for three weeks I see that my camellias bloomed while we were away. I can see traces of the faded pink and the faded red flowers on my bushes.

The green shoots of my jonquils and daffodils are bright against the winter grass. There are signs of spring appearing beneath our grey skies.

The air smells of snow. Maybe that’s because I want to see the white stuff so badly. I love winter, I love snow. And although the air brings whiffs of cold, the temperature is too warm.

Winter in the south is a weird thing. It gets cold, temps fall below freezing often during this time of year, but snow eludes us. We have had our share of rain and wind, but no flurries.

I often grumble to Dale that the lack of snow is awful, but, in reality, it’s winter. Each season has it’s own share of things to complain about and I am realizing that the year is too short to focus on what isn’t there. Today I read my nieces’ blog (https://thepositivedisabledadult.wordpress.com/), as always she focuses on the positive. As I read her post I was convicted of my moaning for lack of snow and wintry weather.

“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.” Philippians 4:11 (NLT)

This scripture then came to mind. Grey skies? No snow? It’s all good. I can be content. I can even be happy. As I read from my niece’s most recent post, I can look for the joy in what I have.

So, although the air has a nip in it, and the sky is filled with what I call snow clouds, I can be thankful and even joyful for the winter grass that is in our yard. I can rejoice in the muddy driveway, and I can smile at the fading winter flowers on my bushes outside.

“in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” I Thessalonians 5:18 (NKJV)

Elegant Invader

Last week my daughter and I were talking about her cancer. She told me that one of her friends had called it the elegant invader. This resonated with me and I told her I knew that I would blog about that.

The definition of elegant is of a high grade or quality. Usually when we see someone who is elegant we are taken aback. We watch them to see how they move, which is usually dignified and effortlessly.

To invade elegantly, means, (to me) to come in by force with a quiet calm. Taking something by force with little to no notice of what is happening.

Cancer is vile. It comes in to rob and steal and maim. It is a thief. It overshadows. It tries to hide itself while it grows and takes over, until it is revealed and exposed.

Cancer touches most families. It is a rare family that isn’t exposed to it’s harshness.

In the same way, sin carries the same qualities of a cancer. It too, can permeate every crevice in our being. It grows in darkness and overtakes and spreads silently. It too is an elegant invader.

“This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all.” I John 1:55 (NLT)

As evil (both disease and sin) loves darkness, so our God is light and in Him we have life.

I know that my Lord is going to touch my daughter’s body with His grace and healing. This is a season of victory for her, but as with all victory, there is a battle to be waged first. She is prepared for battle, strong in her faith in facing this elegant invader of her body.

Likewise, I turn to God for my spiritual battle, as we are all sin factories.

Who is Your Roof?

The name of the Lord is a strong tower;The righteous run to it and are safe.” Proverbs 18:10 (NKJV)

Yesterday, on the drive home, I saw a truck with an advertisement for their company on it. The statement said, “Above all, you need a roof.”

Yes, it was a roofing company truck. I thought the saying was cute. It was accurate and it caught my eye, as I am certain it did for many others unfamiliar with the company.

As we continued down the road I thought about that statement on the truck. Yes, we each want and need a roof over our heads. Roofs provide protection and cover. They shelter us from storms, wind, the elements of nature. We can easily move around our home without the worry of branches falling on us, or being covered in leaves in the fall and pollen in the spring. Birds don’t fly around us moving from chair to chair. Squirrels don’t come in looking for food to hide away. Roofs do their job.

We care for our roofs. We notice them. We pray they hold up as roof repairs are not what we want.

Above all you need a roof.

Definitions of roof are: the cover of a building, the highest point, an upper limit, a covering structure of any part of the body. Synonyms of roof are: shelter, umbrella, shade, shield, cover.

What struck me yesterday on the interstate was a question that came to my mind, Who is my roof?

Psalm 91:1-4, “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;  he is my God, and I trust him.
For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers.
    He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” (NLT)

God is my roof. My shelter. My protector. My refuge. He will keep me safe. I will trust Him. He will rescue me and keep me safe. I can’t think of a better roof, with an eternal guarantee.

Mothering

“Little kids, little problems, Big kids, big problems” Evelyn McCarthy (aunt)

When I first heard my aunt say this, my kids were little. I thought to myself, how could anything I was going through be bigger? I was in the midst of little kids and little problems.

I was blessed to have never had big problems with my little kids. Many cannot say that. They have had to deal head on with childhood cancers and childhood serious illnesses. Thinking back, I can see the blessings that I had when my kids were little.

Last evening I was talking with a friend. We talked about our children and I quoted what I wrote above. We agreed that it was a true statement.

We talked about various times in our life where we realized that mothering never stops. As mothers we often have to deal with stomach issues. Not illness or virus’ or indigestion. But the feeling of being hit full force in our stomach when it comes to our children. Each mother experiences it at one time or another.

It is a feeling of having the wind knocked out of us. It is quick, like falling off the monkey bars when we were little. The fall happens and when you hit the ground, it hurts and takes a minute to catch your breath.

The difference between childhood and motherhood is major. As a child, we cry. As a mother, we breathe deeply and continue on. We check our voices and blink and keep talking, keep moving and pray hard.

The past few weeks people have been concerned about me and how I am doing. I am a mother. Like all mothers, I have taken big breaths, stood a bit straighter, and gone on.

When women become mothers our Lord issues an upgrade to our body. He implants in us the ability to cope with little sleep, little time, little everything. Our eyes open and although we promise ourselves a nap later on, we go through our day with little sleep and little energy and little,to no naps. We function tired. We look tired. We move tired. Our emotions are raw at times. But we carry on. We aren’t saints, but we are mothers.

It is a job with few perks. Except for the arms wrapped around you that are sometimes sticky, sometimes muddy, and sometimes just weary because they are mothers themselves.

Yes, problems are always there. It is life. Yes, sometimes those “knock the wind out of you moments” come one after another. Sometimes they are rare. But, as mothers, we are equipped, it came with the after market upgrade.

So, this day, if you are struggling as a mom, take heart, we have all been there at some point. Take a deep breath. Clear your throat. Stand a bit taller. Pray. Lean on a scripture I often turn to, “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NLT) God will be with you each step of the way, giving you courage and strength.

Quiet

“Be still, and know that I am God!” Psalm 46:10 (NLT)

I have just come into the house after dropping Little Miss off for the bus for school.

It is a darker, rainy Monday. The kind of Monday where you truly wished it was the weekend and stay in the nice warm bed. Little Miss struggled a bit as she woke up, hesitant to open her eyes and move. But, she did.

By time we were waiting for the bus to arrive, she was full of conversations and questions. It was wonderful, and to me, it was a sunny day because I was with her.

Entering the house there was little light and there was a hushed feeling to the house. Quiet. No video games, no conversations, no television, nothing. Just the quiet.

As I sit here, I realize that we all need some quiet. A time to renew, to think, to pray, to ponder. There are so many references in the Bible that urge us to be still. To sit beside still water, to be slow to anger, to wait on the Lord, to stop.

Lord, today, quiet my mind, my body, myself. Let me remember this quiet time this morning and keep that quietness with me throughout this day. When I begin to get anxious, whisper to me and return me to this time. Thank You for allowing me to see You and hear You in this moment. Amen.

Love

“Long ago the Lord said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
    With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” Jeremiah 31:3 (NLT)
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A couple of nights ago as we watched an episode of one of our favorite shows there was a quote that caught my attention. It went something like this, ” There are many kinds of first love. I have wondered if our love was a fleeting thing or something more.”

We have all experienced many first loves. Not just in personal relationships, but all areas.

As I thought on this quote the past couple of days, I have thought of my first loves. Ginger, a miniature collie, my first dog. I never thought I would love another dog like I loved her. I did. Shugo. There will never be another dog like him. My heart could not take being broken again.

My first car that was mine. I loved that car. I was so sad when we sold it. I remember the pride I had when I drove it off the lot. The pride and prayer that I didn’t crash it on the way home.

I know every person I could talk to would tell me of some first love that will never be matched.

Thinking of all of this, I realized there is another kind of first love. That love when you have just accepted the Lord into your heart, allowing Him to guide and direct your life. I was giddy when I accepted the Lord. I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about Him. My life was changed and I felt it. I was different inside, I felt whole.

But, first loves can grow dim. I thought I never would have loved another dog like Ginger, but, there have been many dogs in my life since then. That first car? Well, it didn’t have what my current car has. It is dull in comparison. My first love as a young teen? I have to think about the sun and sparkling water of Hasson pool.

So true, is my first love of Jesus. This has been a lasting love for me. I am comfortable knowing that Jesus is number one in my life. I am secure knowing He cares for me and is with me. But that new, exciting feeling? It’s faded many times.

“But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first!” Revelation 2:4 (NLT)

I don’t need to rekindle the other first loves in my life. I do want to strive to always feel that first love of God. Such a simple quote in a television series and it led me to many days of thinking about it. That’s great writing there.

A Comforting Voice

“Comfort, comfort my people,” says your God. Isaiah 40:1 (NLT)

When I normally think of comforting, I think of times of grief, illness, hospital stays, any kind of loss.

Those are the times when comfort is expected. Most of those times the comfort is given, although it is sincere, it is also stilted and lacks, for the most part, true comfort. The words are not empty, nor are the hugs or holding of hands, but, during those times, the recipient is distraught enough that they accept the comfort but don’t necessarily receive it fully.

This week, I have been acutely aware that comfort is needed daily. Life is tough. Times are rough. The world doesn’t seem as stable as it once was. People are in a state of flux. Things we depended on for years, now look faltering.

The situation I find myself in this past week has only deepened my thoughts on the above scripture. We are commanded to comfort one another. I have tried to do this.

Little Miss has had her world shift into new patterns. Although she has dealt wonderfully with it all, she still needs an extra dose of a comfortable snuggle or hug or tickle. A reassurance that although this season is a different one, the people in her life are still the same people. We are capable of giving an extra hug, playing a game just a bit longer, of listening a bit closer to hear what is going on underneath the conversation. Little ones don’t always come out with what is bothering them. They talk about everything under the sun and then at the end the problem emerges. She has been a trooper through this all.

The adults in this home have also needed an extra dose of comfort. It may be in the form of a meal, a flower delivery, or just quietness together.

Above all, each morning I look out the window and see the sun rise. I hear the normal activity. The Navy jets fly overhead, the neighbor’s dogs bark, the wind blows. These all remind me that through this all, the Lord is near. He is in the little things, the normal things. He speaks through people. He brings comfort.

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1 (NLT)

Yes, this has been a different week. Yet, each and every need has been met. And I know that underneath all that is going on the heartbeat of our Lord is holding this whole situation in His perfect hands, never leaving us or forgetting to care for us.

Wind

“The wind blows south, and then turns north. Around and around it goes, blowing in circles.” Ecclesiastes 1:6 (NLT)

For the past 18 hours the wind has been set loose on the area surrounding our daughter’s home. The trees are bending and creaking. The flag hanging on their porch goes straight out one way and then to the other. It has not stopped flapping in the wind. The chair cushions had to be retrieved before they flew down the street. The porch rug is flapping and shifting away from it’s normal place. It is windy.

Along with the wind has come a cold snap. The wind makes the temperature feel colder. It is a winter’s day.

I have listened to the wind throughout the night and today.

“The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going,” John 3:8a (NLT)

I love reading about wind in the Bible. I was reminded last night of the above scripture. I cannot tell which direction this wind is going. I see it whipping things and one direction and immediately it reverses itself. This is a powerful wind.

How often do we think we can know what nature does around us? Many times we say the damage from nature is an act of God. Technically it is, but what I have had on my heart is the story of Elijah. I Kings 19:11-13, ““Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (NLT)

Elijah was a mighty man of God, but he was so human. I truly love to read about him. He did great things for God and then he hid and cowered and got depressed. I cannot wait to meet him.

We think many times that we will see God in the mighty and prominent things going on around us. We sometimes expect that we will hear the booming voice and lightening ramming the earth with a message attached to it from God. We pray and think that we will see immediate and jaw dropping miracles. When all God wants us to do is to be quiet before Him and hear the still small voice that asks us what we are doing?

Yes, I love to hear the wind rush by the house, shaking the windows and upsetting the dogs, but I yearn to be still enough to hear God whisper to me. I will know that I will have arrived when, instead of searching for the flamboyant expressions, I will hear and see the small cloud, the soft voice.

Sound of Freedom

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith.” I Peter 5:8-9a (NLT)

Having spent most of my adult life around military bases I now can recognize the sound of commercial and military aircraft. In San Diego we lived under the flight path of the International airport. Every few minutes a plane would pass over us. It became normal for us. We also could tell the difference between the military helicopters, the medical helicopters and the police helicopters. It was our normal.

When we moved to our current home, Dale asked for a quiet location. No airplane noise, no traffic noise, just quiet. We have that. When the occasional airplane flies over our home we joke that we did not give them permission. On occasion we hear a military aircraft. We recognize the sound and one of us immediately heads outdoors to see what is flying over us.

It seems we miss the sound of freedom, which is what the sound of military jets is.

Our daughter lives in the same area we did as a newly married couple. There are several military air bases in this area. Often, throughout the day we hear and see the sound of freedom. I never tire of it. I love to see the jets in the sky practicing their maneuvers.The ability to fly jets through the sky, dipping and speeding across the expanse above us brings my heart a swelling pride in our military.

The young people with the ability to fly these awesome aircraft are also the ones who rush in to battle when there is a need. They practice so that at the first call they can defend our freedom, our country, our way of life. They give their life for ours.

Our Savior did the same thing. He willingly gave His life for our freedom, our way of life, for each of us personally. He is the mighty warrior, He is dressed in armor, He will defeat the enemy of our souls.

On this earth we can have many enemies, both human and the enemy of our souls seeks to destroy us by disease, broken relationships, and by others. Like our country can stand behind the warriors that defend her, we too can stand behind the Warrior, who died for us.

Bravery

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 3:16 (NLT)

Today I have seen several examples of bravery. People in my life standing strong and confident that God is in control.

For the past several weeks we have known that our oldest daughter is battling cancer. Today she had an extensive surgery to eliminate this wretched disease from her body.

As she left for the hospital this morning dressed in her “Sayonara Satan” shirt she smiled and was mentally ready to go. She knows the next few weeks/months are going to be a battle, but she also knows that God is with her each step of the way.

My son in law was prepared also. His devotion to my daughter is a trait that I have admired for years. He had his battle face on. This man who has seen the horrors of war, knew that the battle facing his wife wasn’t an easy one. He was prepared and ready to support and defend her in any way he could.

My husband, was doing what he could for our daughter. He too, was being brave. Pushing aside memories of our little girl who was prayed for and promised when we were told we couldn’t have children. He put on a brave face and was there for our daughter and our son in law.

Our granddaughter (Little Miss) was brave as she woke up to just Grammy and Grampy. A different feel to the morning for her, but she got dressed and did her normal routine with just a touch of sadness. We assured her that it was okay to feel sad because it was different, but, everything was going to be okay.

Our son in law’s mother, we talked for a bit. It’s been a while since we talked. She is a strong and brave woman, herself. She cares for an adult son and is navigating life as a widow. As I talked with her I realized that she lives a brave life daily. She prays and keeps moving forward, one step at a time.

Me. I guess I too was brave. Like I usually do in stressful times, I clean. I do laundry. I know how I felt inside, so although I may have given the appearance of bravery, I was jello inside.

Bravery comes in many forms and shapes. Today I saw many faces and forms. They all blessed me and gave me strength. As I prayed today, for my daughter and all that I was in touch with, I was grateful. Bravery comes from the Lord, and also friends and family. They hold you up by their prayers, their comments, their texts and messages. They help you be brave. So, I appreciate all prayers and good thoughts for my daughter and her family and I thank you for the prayers that have truly held us up today.