Category: Faith

A Short Story… Snippets and Memories

Published on by marycatherinethomas2 Comments

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you;” Isaiah 66:13a

The pink acrylic alarm clock sat beside the bed she shared with her sister. It was her favorite with the edges around the face of the clock. She would sit and hold it, rubbing her fingers in the indentations.

She knew it was about to go off as she slowly moved from dreaming to wakefulness. In the background she could hear noise, she knew she must still be sleeping.

The alarm went off. Reaching for the clock, she felt someone pick it up to turn it off. Her older sister was gently setting it back down. She quietly said, “Just go back to sleep. There is no school today.” At this time, their youngest sister stirred and sat up.

Her older sister went to the top of the stairs and said, “Dad, they’re awake.”

The next few minutes were life altering. Confused, the girl sat up as their Dad said, “Mom died last night. You won’t be going to school this week.” Her younger sister started crying. I sat there, confused. I probably was crying, but I don’t remember. I do remember thinking it wasn’t a very funny joke to tell us.

As I sat there, the surroundings became clear. It was still a bit dark, it was fall. The lights from the kitchen seemed so bright. The voices, I wasn’t dreaming. I heard familiar voices of aunts and uncles. I had had a feeling that this day was approaching for the past month, although I never said anything. I was afraid to ask the question for fear that I might get the dreaded answer. That morning, reality slammed into our lives. Day One of not having a mother.

Life changed. That week we went to our Aunt’s house. We roamed around the house while she busied herself in the kitchen. We played with our cousin’s pom poms from high school. She was newly married and it all seemed so romantic to me. We gazed at our cousin’s basketball trophies. He was my favorite. He made me laugh.

We spent another day with another aunt. She let us make chocolate chip cookies. We didn’t add the salt to the recipe and she knew it right away. I never add salt now without thinking about her.

The funeral home was always packed. So many people leaning down to either pat our heads or shed a tear while we were there. We were bored. How many times can you nod your head while someone tells you they are sorry for your loss?

I was 11. That in between stage. I had teenage style of dresses, but could only wear ankle socks. It was humiliating to me. Classmates came into the funeral home. They would stand and stare, not sure what to do or say. I learned the art of small talk that week. I dislike small talk.

The day of the funeral was dark and drizzling. It was like being in a living dream. Motions happened, we went through them, behaving exactly like we were told. As we left, an older aunt lost her underwear and left them on the floor of the church. How bizarre that was and we still laugh about that.

The wake (we’re Irish) was a release for all who were there. Uncles handed us money, “Go to the store, get some ice cream for yourselves.” The neighborhood store must have done a record business as I recall getting back to the house only to have another uncle put money into a cousin’s hand with an order to go to the store and have fun.

Time moved at a snail’s pace but also it flew by. Family left and we girls learned to adjust. Some days in the beginning were okay, others not so good. My older sister was a rock, she guided and kept my younger sister and I moving. We three girls raised ourselves as best as we could. We are survivors.

I don’t know why this all came flooding back to me tonight, but I needed to write about it. The days of no Mother have been a lifetime. Snippets and memories sometimes rush in like a high tide. Other times the memories are still. Above all, though, I am grateful for my sisters. I am grateful for our Dad who was thrust into single parenthood in a time where wives did the bulk of raising the kids.

Life is interesting. Growing up it was normal for us. Normal is different for each person. God has a plan and a purpose for us. The snippets and memories have shaped me according to God’s plan for my life.

What is Your Garden Like?

Published on by marycatherinethomas2 Comments

“And when He had sent them away, He departed to the mountain to pray.” Mark 6:46 (NKJV)

Yesterday we sang the hymn “I Come to the Garden Alone”. I have sang this song for years. I have read cute stories of children asking who Andy is, and parents discovering that it is this hymn they are talking about, confusing the words, And He for Andy. “And He walks with me, and He talks with me, And He tells me I am His own;” Often when I hear this song, I think of that story.

I love gardens. When I think of a prayer garden I imagine a beautiful spot in the middle of a lush growing garden of flowers. There is either a bench in the middle or a swing. It is sweet and peaceful in my mind. Or the other scenario I think of a garden is the picture we have seen since we were little of the garden Jesus went to before his arrest. I see a spot with a large stone where you can lean upon and pray. Of course, in reality, this would not do for me. I would be hesitant to lean upon a rock not knowing if a snake of any sort would be sunning itself on it. Plus, kneeling on the ground where creepy crawlers could crawl up on you is not my thing.

In my reality I have no official garden. I sing the first stanza, “I come to the garden alone while the dew is still on the roses.” I love roses, but I have no roses. I can point to the places where I have attempted growing roses and then point to deer who have eaten my roses until they do not exist.

So, in truth, I have no actual garden. Or, so I thought.

Our worship leader yesterday paused before singing this song. She had been struggling with the meaning of the second verse, “I’d stay in the garden with Him Though the night around me be falling, But He bids me go; through the voice of woe His voice to me is calling.” She went on to describe how the voice of woe is not sadness, but like grandparents are sad to see their grandchildren depart, they know they will return, but tears are shed at their departure. Then as the grandchildren depart, the grandparents will stand in the doorway or driveway and wave to them.

As she spoke, this picture came to mind. This is Little Man when he was Little (he is now a young man). He was going back home and grabbed my hand and told me we needed to hide so he could stay with me. I picked him up and we walked outside. While we said our typical good byes that take almost as long as the visit, he snuggled in, determined not to leave. I can remember the tears in my eyes as he was held. I did not want him to go.

This is how our worship leader described how our Lord feels when we come to Him. I will never forget her words.

It was then that I realized I do have a garden. It is my driveway where I walk laps. It is the place of prayer. It is where, when I am having a tough day I go to even if I have already walked that day. It is where, when I walk out the door, I begin to talk with Jesus.

What does your garden look like?

Case of the Grumpies

Published on by marycatherinethomasLeave a comment

 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4 (NKJV)

I woke up this morning and it wasn’t until a couple hours later that I discovered that I woke on that proverbial wrong side of the bed.

Inside I was agitated. Outside I was short in my words.

We did our Costco run and although that usually cheers me up, it didn’t today. I dreaded going home to put things away and rearrange things and just ‘deal’ with the groceries.

I put most of the things away and decided I needed to check the mail. Sitting beside the mailbox was our garbage can, still full, still waiting to be picked up. Going up the driveway I decided to yell about it all to God. I grumbled about the trash. I grumbled that my freezer needs to be defrosted. I just grumbled.

I heard a small, gentle voice asking me to define it all. True, I could not do anything about the trash, we had called them and they promised they were on their way. Yes, the freezer is on me, and I accepted that. I ended my rant with I’m just so tired.

I retrieved the mail. Just one piece. A card addressed to me. A birthday card from our insurance agent. I glanced at the card and started to mumble about it being late. Instead, I changed my tone and said, that’s nice, even if it was late. I opened the card and inside was a post it note saying, “I am sorry this is so late, please accept this little token from me.”

Attached to the post-it note was a gift card for a quick stop store. This actually caught my breath.

I felt humbled. God blesses us even when He is making a point about attitudes.

The Grumpies have disappeared.

Winter Sunset

Published on by marycatherinethomas2 Comments

“The light shines in the darkness,  and the darkness can never extinguish it.” (John 1:5, NLT)

There is a time each winter day when the sun sets over our woods. The woods close up to the house have started to look gloomy and dark for the night hours. 

The sun, however shows it’s glory in a bright burst before saying good night. It lights up the trees in the distance with a glow that takes my breath away each time I see it. 

Towards the end of the day, when tiredness is creeping in and my sighs become more frequent I look at the woods and feel a darkness come on me. It’s not ominous, it is just the end of the day. The feeling that my pajamas are calling out to me and the idea of toast and tea for dinner somehow seems like the perfect end of the day. 

Then my eyes go upward and I see the brilliant light of the sun reflected in the distance. The light that reminds me that behind each dark cloud there is a brilliant hope for tomorrow. The hope that we find in Christ. The hope that all of my darkness and weariness and sighs can be resolved sitting at the feet of my Lord, where the light can never be extinguished. 

Now, I am ready to fix dinner.

Today I Saw a Crocus

Published on by marycatherinethomas4 Comments

“Even the wilderness and desert will be glad in those days.  The wasteland will rejoice and blossom with spring crocuses.” Isaiah 35:1 (NLT)

It has been a while since I last wrote. I have had some ideas for posts, but have not written, and as is usual, discouragement has begun to set in. 

January was a long, yet quick month for me. Our oldest had another surgery and Dale and I had the privilege to be with her family. Time flies by with a nine year old around. It was a wonderfully exhausting time spent with her. 

During our time there, Dale and I celebrated our 49th anniversary. We have spent three anniversaries in that area, our first, our 48th and our 49th. Obviously, it was a time of reflection for me. The city has changed drastically since we were first married, dirt roads are now paved busy highways. The sky scape is filled with homes, high rises, and buildings. 

Seeing the city’s growth reflected my thoughts on our marriage. When we lived in the Tidewater area, we had many rough and dirt roads in our life together. We also have seen growth together. Much of our life together has been filled with reconstruction, and paving of our ways. We have been torn down like the apartments we lived in 49 years ago. We have had to restart and renew and ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness. Our life is now like the gentrified areas of the town we started out in. We have been given a fresh start and have grown to welcome and be comfortable with each other. As I looked at Dale at our anniversary dinner, I saw glimpses of the young sailor I fell in love with, but, I also saw my life, my heart.

As February came and we arrived home, I knew that there was a feeling of something deep in me. Yes, I miss my daughter and her family. I miss the noise and activity of our granddaughter. But, there was something missing.

As I walked to get our mail, a spot of yellow caught my eye. Our crocuses are blooming. Out of the cold and dormant earth, these little flowers break through. A reminder that spring is right around the corner. A little hope in a drab and dreary winter landscape, pushing past the dead leaves surrounding them.

Writing is what gives me joy. When I don’t write discouragement happens. I know I am not the best writer in the world, but it is what feeds me in a way I don’t find elsewhere. It is where I hear my Savior’s voice and encouragement. It’s where I feel His presence. 

As I walked toward our mailbox, I prayed. So many thoughts rambled through my mind, so many prayers of gratitude for this past month echoed again as they have throughout January. God is good. He is faithful. Today, He gave me words to write and a tangible sign of hope and strength. There is nothing like seeing a crocus in the middle of winter. 

It’s been a year

Published on by marycatherinethomas3 Comments

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

This morning I was reminded of this past year. It’s been a year, let’s leave it at that. A year of cancer diagnosis, surgeries, radiation, a broken toe (yes, that hurt more than my surgeries), possible diagnosis that don’t sound wonderful, a bout of bronchitis. 

I could choose to dwell on these things. It would be easy to do that. To think on the negative. To relive each thing. But, I will not do that. I serve a God who was in every day this past year. He is in today. He is already in tomorrow. 

In between all that happened in 2023, there was laughter. Hanging out with our grandson and his family was a highlight for Dale and I. That laughter, the smiles, the hugs, the playing all healed many areas that ached. Spending time with friends, traveling to new places, taking time for just the two of us, these all were bright spots for us. 

Each year holds a balance. The balance may tip one way or another any given year. Each year we approach a new year not knowing what that year will hold. The older I get the realization of uncertainty becomes greater. That uncertainty used to make me almost panicky. I now have an assurance that I will have experienced most of what the new year holds in some way or another.

Above all, I can say with a heart full of gratitude and peace, Merry Christmas! May your holiday be wonderful, filled with surprise and laughter and playfulness. May your heartaches be healed and joy be overflowing deep within you.

God is a great God, and He has 2024 in the palm of His hands. Nothing is going to escape His attention and care. 

Again, Merry Christmas.

One More Time

Published on by marycatherinethomas2 Comments

 “pray without ceasing” I Thessalonians 5:17 (NKJV)

Before going to bed last night I read a meme a friend posted. Of course, now I don’t remember who posted it, so I will not be giving full credit where it is due.

The meme talked about praying just one more time. It gave a list of things to pray for just one more time. Health, salvation, finances, new jobs, family, children, relationships, friendships, grief, all the things one tends to pray for.

The past couple of nights I have not been able to sleep. As I lie in bed my mind wanders in all directions. I tend to pray for all of the above things in between making my grocery list and wondering where that piece of paper I need is.

A few minutes ago, before getting up to write this, I remembered another part of that meme I mentioned above. The part that said, pray just one more time, like your life depended upon it.

While we may not think our life depends on praying for finances or new jobs, or any of the other things listed, in reality, it does. Our lives are intertwined with our family, our friends our church. Each person truly is a part of me/you.

We each have had those times where you just want to be prayed for in a mighty way. We want to hear the words spoken over us that will give us encouragement, hope and bolster our faith. Someone’s need for restitution in relationships, or someone’s financial needs my not be a matter of life and death to us, but for those who are walking through those times, it feels like life or death.

The enemy of our souls will distract us with grocery lists, or schedules, or meal planning, but we are told to pray without ceasing. I have been challenged by what I read last night.

I may not do this right, but I am determined to make the effort to pray like my life depends on it. I am also going to pray one more time. Galatians 6:9 says, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” (NLT)

There are somethings that I have prayed for years and yes, I have gotten discouraged at not seeing answers the way I want them to be. But, if we pray just one more time, it may be the right time where we will see the answer.

Psalm 121

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

3 He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
8 The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore. (NKJV)

I Don’t Understand

Published on by marycatherinethomasLeave a comment

“Then a dispute arose among them as to which of them would be greatest. 47 And Jesus, perceiving the thought of their heart, took a little child and set him by Him, 48 and said to them, “Whoever receives this little child in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me. For he who is least among you all will be great.” Luke 9: 46-48 (NKJV)

I became a born-again Christian in 1977. 46 years ago. Almost a half century ago.

When I was first saved, I devoured the Bible, read it and tried to absorb all I could. Having never read the Bible before I basically underlined the entire Bible. I didn’t understand most of it, but I was still excited. I thought as I grew as a Christian, I would totally understand each word and be able to dissect it with precision.

We go to a church that preaches the Word of God with truth and power. We are blessed to be in this church. We recently began a study on Heaven. Our pastor is gleaning from the book by Randy Alcorn, “Heaven“. The study has challenged thoughts I have carried about Heaven and has excited me at the same time. It’s excellent.

The Ladies of our church have been having a Bible Study at the same time on the 7 churches in Revelation. Our teacher is someone who studies and can present deep topics with grace and ability. I sit amazed and try to absorb all I can while she teaches.

Late this past summer, I talked to the Lord and asked Him to help me grow closer to Him and to learn more from Him. I felt inadequate in my walk with the Lord. I want more. I desire to walk so close to Him that with each breath I am being led and hearing all I can from Him. I guess this Mary (me) is desiring to be Mary who sat at the feet of Jesus.

In this time, I have begun to think that I am like a child in faith still. A child will ask it’s parent, “what does that mean?” Most of the times, after getting an answer they will walk or run back to what they are doing. They may understand or they may not. I have seen looks on my grandchildren’s faces after asking a question. Sometimes it’s satisfaction and sometimes, it’s filled with more questions.

Lately, I am the latter. I have derided myself. Why am I not understanding? Why am I questioning?

Matthew 18:3, ” And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (NIV)

I have read this scripture many times. I have heard sermons and teachings on child-like faith. I have always in my mind wondered about this verse. Like Nicodemus, I ponder. Yes, I am born again, I get that part, but how do I return to be a child, to have faith like theirs?

This morning, as I read the Bible (and yes, basically underlining each sentence) it occurred to me that my prayers to have that child like ability have been answered. I am reading, listening, and questioning. I pray that I keep running, like a little child to question what I have just heard and run to my Heavenly Father and ask what it means. After almost 50 years, I have begun to be a child.

Those We Grow Up With

Published on by marycatherinethomas4 Comments

“I could never love anyone as I love my sisters.” —Little Women film adaptation (1994)

I am a middle child of three. My sisters and I raised one another. It was our life and it was our normal. We have wonderful memories of the years we grew up together.

Yes we fought as sisters do. We laughed and were silly at times. We had inside jokes that we can still recall. We would sneak each other’s clothes, make-up and sometimes shoes.

My younger sister and I would play with the ‘grown up ‘ things of our older sister, her long gloves, her eye shadows. We looked at her prom dresses.

I married in 1975 and moved away. I missed decades with my sisters. Life with them was long distanced. I couldn’t do much at all. Snail mail was our only connection, except on weekends when rates were cheaper for long distance calls.

Email, text messages, cell phones have changed that. It’s wonderful. We all live apart from one another. Different states in different parts of the country is not how we dreamed it would be. We thought we would marry and live on the southside of our town, within walking distance. I often wonder how that would have been.

There are conversations we have where you feel a part of what they are doing. When my younger sister is walking her dog, I have done that with her, both physically and while we are talking on the phone. Those times as she says she is in the car heading home, I almost want to say, well, what should we do for dinner? It seems so natural to continue.

Last night I had such a conversation. The kind where you go beyond relaying news and weather. The kind of conversation where you want to keep talking into the still hours of the night. Talking about everything under the sun and nothing at all.

As I climbed into bed last night I thanked God for the blessing of my sisters. I know they are always there and would do anything for each of us at the drop of a pin. But there are times when although the knowledge is there, a hunger for a hug and a squeeze is what is needed.

Psalm 139:13 says,”For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.” (NKJV) This is one of my favorite scriptures. It reminds me that our Lord knows me intimately. As He formed me in my mother’s womb, He formed my sisters. He knows them intimately and He created us and put us together as family. His plan for us as sisters is still going on. Time, distance, life separates us, but the bond of being sisters is so much greater than all of that.

I am a middle child. I am blessed to be between two precious women. Thank you Jesus.

Sigh…

Published on by marycatherinethomasLeave a comment

to take a deep audible breath (as in weariness or relief) ~ Merriam and Webster definition.

Sigh. We all do it. I am married to someone who sighs all the time. I have a difficult time trying to figure out what the sigh means, is he sore? Is he frustrated? Is he angry? Is it just a sigh? It is a running commentary most of the time for us. His response usually is it is a cleansing breath.

This morning I read Mark 8:12, “But He sighed deeply in His spirit, and said, “Why does this generation seek a sign? Assuredly, I say to you, no sign shall be given to this generation.” (NKJV)

After reading this, my thought was, “huh, Jesus sighed too”. I then wondered how many times he sighed while on this earth. Most likely a multitude of times! He probably still sighs.

Yesterday while I was coming in from town, I received a text, it was one I was looking forward to. Fortunately, I hit a red light so I was able to read it. I immediately started loudly thanking God and praising Him for the information in this text. I was alone, so I could be as loud as I wanted to be. My oldest had had a successful surgery.

After praising God for a minute or two, I sighed. It was a memorable sigh for me. I sighed and a weight was lifted off of me. A season of life was now in the past. Tears filled my eyes and I had to remind myself that I was behind the wheel, so tears were stopped and I drove the rest of the way home.

A sigh. An action of a four letter word that encompasses so many things. Yesterday it signaled relief, a weight lifted, prayers answered, a season over for the most part.

Life is filled with sighs. Yesterday the sigh was joyful. Today it may mean something entirely different. I keep thinking of a saying popular in years past, What would Jesus do? I read it today, He sighed. Thank you Jesus, yesterday I did what You would do.