Category: Faith

A Mother’s Heart

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Recently I have been thinking about a mother’s heart. Not her physical heart, but that part of a woman that makes her Mom.

When a woman finds out she is going to be a mother, at least for me, it changes her outlook on everything. Things are weighed with safety, and logic. We are bound to the life within us and it is part of who we are and who we become.

When my daughters were young I worried incessantly. Was I doing the right things? Was I taking care of them correctly? Was I attentive enough? I continued to feed, change, bathe, clothe and hover as much as I could. The result? My girls became girls.

When my daughters reached the age of being girls, I worried incessantly. Did they have enough nice toys? Did they have a healthy meal? Did they have enough social interaction? I continued to watch their diet, their social lives, their wardrobe and I hovered close by. The result? They became teenagers.

As teens I worried incessantly. Were they safe at school and during social activities? Were they making right food choices when I wasn’t there? Were they comfortable in their clothes and skin? Were they happy? I continued to monitor and hovered from a distance (or so I thought). The result? They became adults.

As adults, I worried incessantly. Did they have enough? Were they happy? Were they safe? I watched from afar and tried not to hover. The results? They became wonderful women with husbands and families.

Now, their family is growing up. I see them doing some of the same things I did. I smile and try to reassure them.

But, now, my mother’s heart questions myself. Did I do right? Did I make a good example? Did I do it right?

I know all women think similar thoughts. For those of us with children, we realize they were gifted to us for a season and questions linger when we think of the season where we had influence on our children. A mother worries. It’s our nature. We want to nurture, but we need to learn when it is not our job to nurture all the time, it is time for spouses to take that place.

I think the hardest part of parenting now, for me, is to not push myself on them. My girls have families and commitments and duties that I am not part of. I think of them daily. I pray for them daily. And yes, I worry daily. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” (NLT)

I love this scripture, yet, I wonder, did I direct them correctly? With those thoughts I once more pray for them and yes, I worry, are they happy? Do they have enough? Are they okay? Did they laugh today?

My God

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We each have a view of what God looks like. He is different in the mind and eyes of each of us.

To me, He is hard to describe, as I know I won’t know His countenance until the day I see Him face to face. I also recognize that at that time He won’t be at all like I have imagined Him.

Today, while walking and praying about what to write, I went through my usual list of what I write about, the weather, the feel of the air, my grandkids, my kids, my hubby, experiences. I was at a loss for ideas. Then in the deep recesses of my mind I heard, “Write about Me.” I actually chuckled out loud. Yeh, right.

Then, I started pondering that comment. Yes, I write about my faith, what I think His many names mean, my faith, and , although those all point to God, I have never really written about Him.

How do you write about a person you have never met, yet have such a strong relationship with? How do you describe the Creator of the Universe? What descriptors do I use to portray Him? You can see my dilemma.

I was raised like my sisters and friends. God was God. He always was and will always be. He frowns at sin, yet He blots sin out with the blood of Jesus.

I confess over the years He has switched from being a big bad boogey man who randomly tosses lightening to fry me and thunders disapproval at me to my place of comfort.

After the death of my Dad, I read Psalm 68:4-5, “Sing to God, sing praises to His name;
Extol Him who rides on the clouds, By His name Yah, And rejoice before Him. 5 A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation.” (NKJV)

This brought me comfort.

God is my Father. He is the perfect Father. As is true with fathers, God has taught me lessons, both the easy way and the hard way when I insist on doing it ‘my’ way. God has been there in the night time when tears fall and I am distressed. He listens to me drone on and on, never judging me and letting me talk. He brings me comfort, joy and peace.

My God is mighty and strong. He reveals Himself to me in His creation. I love how He paints the sunrise and sunset. I love how He laughs with me at times, and I know He laughs at me when I truly goof up. Sometimes kids make you laugh.

When I think of how to describe my version of God, I think of a quilt. An old quilt. A quilt that has been washed many times and each square is soft fabric, faded a bit, but familiar. A quilt that lays heavy on you, not to oppress you, but to bring a security and comfort you can’t receive elsewhere. A place where tears can fall easily, but they are wiped away gently.

A song that describes how I feel about my God,

He is our peace
Who has broken down every wall,
He is our peace, He is our peace.
He is our peace
Who has broken down every wall,
He is our peace, He is our peace.

Cast all your cares on Him,
For He cares for you,
He is our peace, He is our peace.

He is our peace
Who has broken down every wall,
He is our peace, He is our peace.
He is our peace
Who has broken down every wall,
He is our peace, He is our peace.

Cast all your cares on Him,
For He cares for you,
He is our peace, He is our peace.

Humbled

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“He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8 (NKJV)

Several weeks ago, our pastor challenged the people in our church to come early on Sundays and pray. The challenged hit me hard, as I used to do this all the time while living in San Diego, and had not considered doing this here in South Carolina.

I started to do this while Dale was practicing with the worship team before church. Of course, while we visited Little Miss, I spent time with her. Yesterday was our first Sunday back in church. I started walking through the sanctuary and through the hallways. I like to walk while praying, it reminds me of the children of Israel going into the promised land. They took possession of the land with each step they took.

The church we are in has been dormant for years. Rooms that have not been used for decades stand open ready to be filled with people learning, teaching, sharing, and discovering the goodness of God. I walk to claim that these rooms be filled with people searching for God. We live in a hurting world where circumstances and situations are unbearable. As Christians, it is our honor to reach out to these people. To love them and understand them. Deuteronomy 11:23-24, is what I think of, “Then the Lord will drive out all the nations ahead of you, though they are much greater and stronger than you, and you will take over their land. 24 Wherever you set foot, that land will be yours. Your frontiers will stretch from the wilderness in the south to Lebanon in the north, and from the Euphrates River in the east to the Mediterranean Sea in the west.” (NLT)

I don’t say this to brag, but to give you a basis of what I experienced Sunday morning. I walked through the sanctuary, the foyer, I looked out to the parking lot and prayed that it would be filled, that people would flock to the church. I went to the Children’s Church room, prayed for the leader, the children and that the room would be filled to capacity. In the hallways I prayed for laughter, giggles and children running rampant and parents yelling at kids for being too wild. In my mind I can hear the echoes of children.

I then went into the teen room. Our teen group is starting this Wednesday. I prayed for the teens. This is also where I am leading a Bible study next week for the ladies. This is what hit me. I felt the Lord overwhelm me with my inability to teach His words. It wasn’t a feeling of doom, dread or condemnation. It was a feeling of being honored and humble to do so. Humble like an undeserved honor to be able to share His word.

It reminded me, once more, of the gift of this blog, and my attempts that writing is to me. Thank you Lord for enabling me to put together words. They are Your words and I am grateful for the trust You have given me. Hide me as I write and teach, reveal Yourself through my attempts. May I always be aware of Your presence in my life. Amen.

Reorganizing

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We have lived in our current home seven years. Seven wonderful, memory filled years.

When we were unpacking, I basically put things away in the kitchen without much thought. Now, seven years later I have come to the conclusion that many things just do not work the way they are situated now. I have put off rearranging as I really don’t like to do that, but, I am now faced with the reality that this is going to happen now rather than later.

Currently, Dale is putting together a cabinet from Ikea. It is going in my kitchen and since it will be complete in a few moments, the time has come upon me to reorganize. I have opened each of my cabinets and studied them. I think I know what I will be doing.

As I looked in each cupboard and drawer, it came to me that God does a lot of rearranging daily. He has a perfect will for us, but, often we veer off in another direction. As many of us know, veering off into a different direction eventually causes us to arrive (a bit delayed) to the place our Lord originally wanted for us. His path is the better one, better scenery, better conditions, better everything. Our path is filled with what we see as a pretty pathway, only for us to discover the hidden vines and thorns and rocky pathways that we have to deal with. His way is better by far.

So today, as I start to rearrange my kitchen I will be thinking of this. Why did I put heavy plates on the top shelf where I now have to stand on tiptoes? Why did I stack platters in odd places? And finally, why did I just throw my cookbooks up above the sink when each time I open that cupboard they inevitably fall into the wet sink? All these questions will be answered in the next couple of days. Meanwhile, I will ponder the right path and what seems like the easy path.

“But for those who are righteous, the way is not steep and rough. You are a God who does what is right, and you smooth out the path ahead of them.” Isaiah 26:7 (NLT)

Genesis 2:1-3

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“So the creation of the heavens and the earth and everything in them was completed. 2 On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested[a] from all his work. 3 And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation.” Genesis 2:1-3 (NLT)

With each day there was a boundary established by God, day, night, sea, land, seed bearing fruit, trees, birds, fish. Each creation had a boundary. Then He rested.

For the past two weeks, I have not given myself boundaries. I did not schedule time to write or really exercise. I enjoyed the company of my daughter, her husband and our Little Miss. Each day held it’s own excitement and adventures, even if it was just sitting on the couch watching television and playing restaurant. Each day gave me memories to cherish.

Now, we are home. Today I awoke with determination to get back into full swing of schedules. I have half succeeded. Laundry is finishing, most of the groceries are put away, and although writing has been on the forefront of my mind, these words are my only accomplishment.

I tend to be pretty hard on myself when I am not in a regimen. I look at numbers in my statistics on my blog, each time reminding myself that stats are just numbers. That does not always work for me, because with each number I see a person that has reached out to me. Each person who reads what I attempt to say is a gift to me, after all, they have taken time from their day to see what I have tried to say.

When my stats go to ‘0’ or ‘1’, I chide myself. I see in my mind a finger pointing at me and scolding me for not being where I think I should be. There are a lot of “I’s” in these sentences. It is then, that I remember that this blog is a gift also. My words do not come without a lot of prayer and my Lord sees the entire perspective. This blog belongs to Him and only through Him can I write.

So, after pushing myself to get back on track, fretting and stewing that I am not back where I think I should be, I have heard a gentle voice whispering, “Chill out! I’ve got this.” Followed by my thankfulness that I serve a God who understands me.

Hear That? God is a Gentle Whisper

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“ And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.” I Kings 19:12 (NLT)

After Elijah killed all the prophets of Baal, he fled to Mt. Sinai and waited to hear from God. The above verse talks about all the ways Elijah thought God would answer. I love the end of the verse though, and after the fire was the sound of a gentle whisper.

How many times do we expect a boisterous answer? We expect fire, lightening, earthquakes, booming voices, we want the drama. God is capable of all of this. But, often He will gentle whisper. We have to listen carefully, but the answer is there.

The past two days and nights we visited Little Miss’ lake house. It was a quick trip and on the spur of the moment. The late summer weather was perfect for boating and watching Little Miss tubing solo and with her Dad. This morning as we were on the lake there was a feeling of end of summer. The sun was hot, but the air was almost fall-ish.

The past days as we have ventured out on the lake I have heard gentle whispers in the air. I truly felt the presence of God. He whispered to me as I watched a pair of bald eagles circle above us. The majesty of the birds, they symbol of America, strong, independent and soaring.

I heard the Gentle Whisper speak to me as we watched the sun start it’s descent in the west. The Artist of all creation painting the sky. Giggles and laughter from our Little Miss filled me with joy to see her grow in new ways. This too, is our God softly speaking to her, urging her to conquer adventures and new activities.

God, the Gentle Whisper fills us with peace and joy. We sometimes have to slow down to experience this. Like Elijah we expect major things to show us God’s hand. God does not always shout, instead, He leans close to us, and pulls us near Him and whispers.

God in the little things

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Recently I have written about the names of God. I will most likely continue with these, but the past couple of days I have seen in action all that God is.

We are visiting Little Miss and her family. During this visit I have seen our God in action in this family. I have seen His protection over this home and extended family. I have experienced God our peace in the conversations and interactions.

God is bountiful. He is present. He protects and defends us. He answers prayer. He is all in all. I rejoice in the answered prayers I have felt.

I often look to see God in all areas and situations. These past few days, I have been immersed in the presence of God.

Walking into this home is walking into peace. It is comfortable. It is filled with teasing and laughter, giggles and snuggles. I have been wrapped in peace and for that I am thankful.

May your day today be filled with all the good things from our God.

“Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them. 9 For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” Psalm 107:8-9 (NLT)

Isaiah 7:14 ~ God with Us

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 “Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Listen carefully, the virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and she will call his name Immanuel (God with us).” Isaiah 7:14 (AMP)

This verse I love. It brings comfort to me, I can’t explain the calm I feel when reading it. It is often read during Advent, the time leading up to Christmas, but it is a promise from Father God that we know was fulfilled with Christ’s birth.

Emmanuel came to earth. He left the glory of heaven, the glory of being with Father and Holy Spirit and became man. He left His home, with all the infinite power and glory and became an infant. An infant that needed to be fed, changed, and clothed. He had to depend on Mary and Joseph, two He created.

Jesus was here on earth, He was with us. He experienced all that we learned as children, skinned knees, colds, the heat of the summer, the cold of winter, hunger, excitement. He felt all that we feel. God with us.

How incredible that the God of the Universe humbled Himself and became man. How incredible for us, that He did. Emmanuel, God with us, while He was on earth as He is now.

Mighty ~ El Shaddai

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“When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, “I am El-Shaddai—‘God Almighty.’ Serve me faithfully and live a blameless life.” Genesis 17:1 (NLT)

Abram talked with God, and believed what he heard. El Shaddai, God Almighty. With those four words, this post is summed up. What can be added to El Shaddai, God Almighty?

In 1982 Amy Grant released a song written by Michael Card and John Thompson, titled, “El Shaddai.” Part of the lyrics go, “Age to Age You’re still the same by the power of Your Name”

God Almighty, He is everything, mighty in strength and power, capable of handling all that we bring Him. He never wavers in His love for us. He is there in our darkest moments and when we see the world as perfect. He is there for any situation we may find ourselves in.

We can’t cause dew to form, but God can. We can’t control the rain, the thunder or lightening, but God can. He speaks and the seasons change. He is Almighty God. We see dimly but He sees clearly. We can only imagine the heights and depths of this world, how deep the oceans are, what lies beneath the oceans, but our God knows as He spoke and they came into being.

El Shaddai is amazing!

A Glimpse ~ God, Our Hiding Place

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“You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.” Psalm 32:7 (NKJV)

With a shout of “Ready or not, here I come” the searching begins in a game of hide and seek. We have each played this game, trying to find the best hiding spots. Our granddaughter loves this game and I have played it with her, finding spots where she would not look. She is a great ‘hider’ too. She has stumped me many times.

Hiding in play is one thing, but I remember my youngest would often try to hide behind me when she was around strangers. I was her shield and protection. I sometimes would gently pull her from behind me to introduce her to people and allow her to warm up to them.

I have been known to just hide. This is during times of stress for me, when I need to collect my thoughts and my peace. I usually quietly head to a closet and stand there. If I have to, I take a deep breath and start to pray, sometimes crying when situations have upset me emotionally.

God is our Hiding Place. In times of distress, I can picture myself like my youngest, grabbing onto the robe of God and hiding there, occasionally peeking our from around Him to glimpse at what is going on. As He is the perfect parent, He knows I am there and allows me to use Him as a shield. But, when the time comes, He gently reaches around and brings me out, reassuring me that is it okay and I no longer need to hide.

God is always there. He is always ready to be that perfect place to hide. It is not a fearful place, or an obvious place, but He is a place of security and protection. A perfect hiding spot.