Women’s Heart

As I have mentioned, I attended a Ladies Retreat this past weekend. I have been to several in my lifetime and each one has had it’s own unique feeling.

Most retreats I have attended have had a feeling of getting through the speaker and sessions so it could be playtime. It’s not a bad thing to do this, as the playtime usually brings women closer to one another and forms bonds that cannot be broken. This is what I expected to experience this weekend.

How wrong I was! Yes, there was the chatting and laughter and joking around. Those of us with husbands commented on our husband’s quirks and how irritating it can be. To a casual person passing, the comments could be taken wrong. But, in looking into each other’s faces and laughing over the quirks,(which we determined was a common thing among spouses), you could feel the love each woman has for her spouse. The quirks just made our husbands who they are and they are an endearing part of them.

Other conversations centered around body image, scars, tales of how the scars happened, and laughter. Lots of laughter.

Yes, that was the normal part of a retreat.

Interspersed with each conversation women’s hearts shone through. The hearts continued the feeling of worship and praise. There was a continuation of the services we had. A genuineness.

Usually prayer is only for after the speaker is done. This weekend, prayer was as common as the laughter. Prayer and care were evident in each room you passed. The laughter would lift and then quiet and peeking into different areas you could see women hugging, praying and crying with each other.

Yes, friendship bonds were formed this past weekend. The thing I took away was the care and tenderness displayed through the women. Women are quick to share and get to the heart of matters. We will listen to the pre-story, the lead up and then the heart of a matter comes through. The trust in one another shines forth and ministry takes place.

This was a different type of retreat. The bonds of friendship were made. More important, though, was the bond of caring, of understanding, and of love, which broke through the surface and knitted this group together.

“Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:14 (NLT)

Discards

This past weekend I attended a ladies retreat in the Great Smokey Mountains of North Carolina. During free time on Saturday myself and four other women went to the town of Bryson City. We didn’t have much time there, but we managed to roam around part of the town having lunch at a small diner and visiting several shops and back again to the diner for some ice cream.

There were signs for a Farmer’s Market and Artisan show, so we walked to see that. On the way back to get the ice cream, our group walked past a small area filled with some junk. As most of us were photographing the scenery and each other, I took some pictures of the junk pile. Yes, I know, of course I would do this.

To discard means to toss away, get rid of.

Passing by ‘junk’, possessions that were once a part of a life. A bed frame that led to sweet dreams or rest, appliances no longer worth anything. Metal left to the elements to rust and rot away.

Discards of life. No longer wanted or needed. An image of a slow rotting of things.

I looked at this area of junk. One time someone’s treasure.

Talking with the woman beside me, I said discards. She immediately looked at me and said, “God never discards us.”

I smiled and told her that’s what I was thinking, and that was the reason for taking the pictures.

Again, I was once more reminded that God speaks to all of us in everyday things. We went out to see the beautiful creations of things in a shop and God showed me junk.

One of my most favorite verses is Matthew 28:20b, “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (NLT)

God never leaves us, He does not tire of us nor does He toss us out as useless. We will never be discards in the Lord’s sight.

Dappled Sunlight

This morning as I walked, I saw the dappled sunlight in our front yard. I love the spring and summer sunlight, although I do grumble at the coming heat and humidity.

Today the gentle breeze was consistent and at times sent a shiver down my back. It’s early May and soon I will long for that shiver of cool.

As I walked, I was reminded of how beautiful our property is and how blessed we are to be here. I often write about our home, our yard, about the sunlight and the wind rushing through the trees. I hesitated to do so again.

But, in the midst of this rambling, the Lord showed Himself in a great way. If we quiet ourselves enough, we will see His presence in all things. This morning I attempted to do this. To look, to marvel, and to hear.

What came of all of this was an overflowing desire to praise our God. He is great! He is glorious! He has plans for each of us and will direct our steps.

My time of walking is my prayer time. I tend to start off right away with a list, my list. I pray for others, I pray for family, and sometimes I complain when I see things that need to be done. In the middle of my usual routine today, I stopped. I stood still and it occurred to me that the Lord knows my routine.

I looked around me and said, “Today, I will choose to praise You. You know my heart. You know what I am droning on in prayer. You are already in the middle of the situations I am praying for. So, today is my day to thank You, to praise You and to remember You and Your deeds.”

“Who is like You among the gods, Lord? Who is like You, majestic in holiness, Awesome in praises, working wonders?” Exodus 15:11 (NASB)

The Art of Motherhood

Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth.” Genesis 3:15a (NLT)

Women understand this verse, especially if we have a child of any age. We can honestly say, been there, done that, have the memories.

Children bring not only pain, but joy, laughter, worry, gray hair. I could go on and on. I have two daughters, both grown, both mothers and both having their own memories.

This past Monday, my oldest daughter finished her radiation therapy for breast cancer. She was diagnosed at the end of last year with surgery in January and radiation beginning in March. I was blessed to be able to be with her for her surgery and for the bulk of her treatment.

As I opened a text on Monday seeing a short video of her ringing the bell after finishing treatment, tears of joy filled my eyes. She has been a rock star through this whole ordeal. Me? I have managed to fake strength and give encouragement, but most of all, I have prayed. The prayers did not make sense really, and most of the time they went like this, “Lord,? You know. Be with her.” Somehow I could not always make definite and flourished prayer.

But God.

God created mothers. He had one. He knows. He knows the struggles we, as mothers, go through.

I have been exhausted this week. I haven’t understood the tiredness. Today, it hit me. The tiredness of walking the floor with teething babies was similar to how I felt. The tiredness of waiting for your teen to come home in one piece, even though you knew they would. That stress was what I was feeling.

The art of motherhood is feeling those feelings. Showing strength when you have none. Showing courage and encouragement when you only half believe Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (NLT). Hiding the tear that escapes down the cheek.

Again, but, God. He answered my fumbled prayers and oh so many other’s prayers. They stood in the gap. They, like Aaron held up the arms for us. We felt them all. And God answered.

For now, the battle is done, for we as mothers, never know what will happen in the next hours. We were gifted our children. We were chosen to be the parent of each of our children. There is a reason for this.

Today, I thought of Mary, the mother of Jesus. She learned the art of motherhood from God Himself. She knew she was in for quite the ride with her firstborn. But, although she knew, standing at the foot of the cross while her ‘baby’ hung there for all of us must have taken such strength, and courage. When we look to the Bible for wisdom, we receive it, but sometimes it’s hard.

For those of you who have walked this journey with us, and our daughter’s family, thank you. Your encouragement and prayers have carried us through this latest adventure.

At the Airport

“And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.” I John 5:15 (NKJV)

Three weeks ago I sat in the airport waiting for my flight to board. As I sat there I realized that 99% of the people were on their phones. I also had my phone out, but, I stopped and looked around me. People were carrying on business, talking with loved ones, and I even saw someone making a dance video on their phone. It was a cacophony.

I sat silently, placing my phone in my purse. I studied my surroundings. Business never really stops now. I heard one man discuss how he had to be present at a meeting and no decisions could be made without him. When I saw some people talking, it was not a personal conversation. Instead, this group of people were critiquing a seminar they had just attended.

In the midst of all of this noise and activity, I thought of our Lord. How the sound of people praying and asking and begging for things must be for Him. Yet, despite all the noise, He hears each and every thought and sees the heart of the person addressing Him.

This image has not left me. Our God hears. He listens. He answers. He knows each and every one of us. We have not escaped His attention.

Pathways

“Righteousness will go before Him, And shall make His footsteps our pathway.” Psalm 85:13 (NKJV)

This morning I read Psalm 85 for my quiet time. I have read this psalm before and even underlined many portions of it before.

However this last verse sort of came off the page and smacked me upside the head. It reads different in other versions as I discovered, but this version is the one that made me think.

We are encouraged to be more like Christ. What better way to become like Him than by walking on the pathway that is made by His footsteps. This is all, but, I really thought this was powerful.

Rest Doesn’t Always Mean Sleep

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

This morning I was conversing with the Lord. I will give you a peak into my thoughts, which is a scary thing. My devotional today was about Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, for me. That through His sacrifice, I received grace when I asked Jesus into my heart. While reading that devotional, I wondered if I truly thought of that great exchange enough. Do I stop and think that because of His horrible death on the cross, my sins are now covered because of His shed blood? I know I take that for granted.

After that, I read in Psalms about having joy in the Lord. “A single day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else! I would rather be a gatekeeper in the house of my God than live the good life in the homes of the wicked.” Psalm 84:10 (NLT) I stopped at that verse and said to God, I truly would rather have a single day in His house and relish the glorious worship of Him.

Yes, this is truly what I was thinking earlier. I continued my day with the Lord showing me a few things, and as I was the only one home I said aloud, “I would love to be that Christian that people would look to for an example. ” I said a few other things and realized that the pronoun “I” was in my conversation. I stopped myself and asked for forgiveness, as I in myself can accomplish nothing for the Lord. It is only Him who will accomplish things in me, through me and in spite of me. Most of the time, if not always, it is in spite of me.

After all of the exchange I felt like the Lord said I needed to rest. Rest is like a trigger word for me. The Lord knows that. I said out loud, “I don’t know how to rest.” Too soon, I felt like He not only agreed with me and then I heard “Rest doesn’t always mean sleep.”

The truth of this simple statement quieted me. I do not know how to rest. Rest doesn’t always mean sleep.

There are several definitions of the word rest according to Merriam-Webster. The following are some of the definitions, to rest by lying down, sleep; to cease from action or motion : refrain from labor or exertion; to be free from anxiety or disturbance; to remain confident : trust.

A simple statement, that gives me pause to contemplate the deeper meaning. I need to rest from worry, from fear, from striving, from doing, from inserting myself when I need to stand back and allow the Lord to move.

Come to me all you with heavy burdens and I will give you rest. I am reading this verse now in a different way. Our God will give us rest from all things. This is a basic lesson, yet, sometimes we need to return to the basics so that we will remember and be refreshed.

Chosen

“But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” I Peter 2:9 (NLT)

To be chosen is a wonderful thing. In elementary school, two or three people would be picked to choose their teams. Excitedly the first few were picked and the team leaders were thrilled with their top picks. I watched as the lines dwindled. Finally three were left for three teams. At this point the excited team leaders would shrug and say, “I guess I will take ….” Often I would be in those last three. I would look at the other two remaining. We all felt it. We all knew what we were, the last ones, the ones that had I guess before their names. Was there often in elementary school. I was tall and lanky and like a german shepherd puppy I had not grown into my feet to make them go the way they were supposed to go.

Relief came in high school where you counted off numbers and all the numbers were teams. A much fairer way to choose. But, by that time, I had grown into my feet and legs and could compete with the best of them.

Being chosen. So many times in life we choose or we are chosen. It becomes second nature to us. It is part of life. We understand what it means and we accept when we are not the ones chosen.

This week I have thought about the above scripture. I am a chosen person. God chose me. I am His. I am on the winning team. I don’t have to prove myself to Him. He has already chosen me. He didn’t look at my physical attributes, or my abilities, or my intelligence. He looked into my heart. He knows my heart’s desire.

“Long ago the Lord said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” Jeremiah 31:3 (NLT)

I am chosen and loved with an everlasting love. He has and continues to draw me closer to Him. He loves me just as I am. Although I am far from perfect, and I don’t understand much, He is the One who is perfecting me and molding me into His image and giving me wisdom as we go along.

Spring

“Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. 12 The flowers are springing up,
    the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.” Song of Solomon 2:11-12 (NLT)

It’s been a few days since I was able to walk and enjoy being outside. This morning I walked to the mailbox and marveled at the bursts of pink, red, white, yellow and green.

I immediately went back in time to my fourth grade year at school. The spring of that year our class did a program on poetry. I loved it. One of the poems we recited was “in just spring’ by ee cummings. Each year I remember the verse and recite it in my mind.

This poet always intrigued me as he didn’t follow any grammar rules and he just wrote.

As I finished reciting this to myself I looked at my driveway, a bit soft from the rains the other night, and almost mud-lucious. I recalled the smell of spring growing up. The scent of mud, blackened snow,lilacs,and trees coming back to life. The air was familiar today and I thanked God for such a day as this.

Spring is a new season, it is birthed by the burst of pollen and trees, leaves, and daffodils. It is like a call from our Lord to awake and renew.

This season I look for the newness of the season and know that with each physical season of life, there is a spiritual one that accompanies it. Lord, awaken me to be renewed in You and burst forth with a freshness and vitality that matches the budding of nature around me.

Peace

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” I Peter 5:7 (NLT)

I had a pre-op appointment this morning. I usually do not fret over appointments, as I know they are necessary.

However there are two things that I will become anxious about if I dwell on them. They are also the two things the enemy brings to mind with every appointment.

The first one is a common one. It begins with, “Step on the scale and let’s see what you weigh.” Those dreaded words. I always picture alarms going off and bells ringing and lights flashing like a game show host calling down a contestant. Let’s see how much this one weighs! I glance at my clothes and although I have planned on wearing the lightest clothes I have, I still wonder if anyone would notice if I was just in my underwear. But, I wouldn’t want to scar anyone. My sister dated a lightweight wrestler in high school. He confided that if you lean forward you could make weight for the match. I think of him each time I step on the scale. I don’t do that now as with my balance not always at 100% I figure I would lean forward and crack my head on the wall behind the scale.

The second thing I can stress about is when they slap that cuff around you and start pumping up, and it gets tighter and tighter on you. Again, in my head I imagine springs bursting off of the blood pressure machine, the cuff blowing up and people asking how I am still alive. Today the machine was not working correctly, so after four tries the fifth time it recorded it correctly, up to that point, it would just turn off. So, switching arms and waiting a minute it worked.

Other than those two things you can poke, prod and push me and I am okay. I know those two things the enemy of our souls uses to get me upset.

But, I have a secret weapon. The scripture above and a worship song that goes with this scripture, He is our Peace.

Whenever I have an issue or a problem or a situation where I know I could become off center, I start to sing this song and I know without a doubt, that my Peace will be there, breaking down walls and taking any and all of cares upon Him.